@jbfny428
“The Punisher” and The Punishment of James Faraci The Last Of The Americans
August 15, 2022 in Blogs, The Last of the Americans
Chad Narducci: As a matter of fact, I would. (Mumbles to himself for a few seconds) “I had more fun sitting and watching a pilot based on the movie “Clerks” which was nothing like the movie” (Mumbles for a few seconds) “Would’ve had more fun watching a sitcom in which Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun lived next to Jewish neighbors?” (Chad tosses the notes to the table) Do you know something? I think I know what the problem is. It’s you; where’s your enthusiasm for trying new things? (Cut to James as Chad continues to tell James that he is not creative or lacks the drive to succeed then it echoes as Chad says how much he made James and how much Chad has done and how much James owes Chad which becomes the straw that breaks James’ back and finally, after everything Chad has put James through, James drops the F-Bomb as it cuts to the First Presbyterian Church in Liberty NY as the clock tower bell rings then it cuts to downtown then to The Yaun house.)
Mr. & Mrs. Yaun (In unison): My word that was the loudest profanity I ever heard!
Brace Yourselves The Punishment is about to begin Click here to find out what happened
“Public Enemies” Number One and two “Superman & Batman”
July 22, 2022 in Blogs, The Last of the Americans
TLOTA (V.O.): Superman/Batman Public Enemies is based on the comic book storyline series at the time involving the two and Lex Luthor as the President of our country. And given the Presidents we’ve been dealing with, He may just be the least evil choice in the history of Presidential Electorates, which is saying something impossible. But what is it that forces Superman and Batman to team up and find out what in the Samuel Langford Hell is going on! And how without question, they have to defy a Government to protect a planet.
TLOTA (V.O.):
So yeah, Luthor decides to hold a press conference to see if Superman will help. And it’s here Batman voiced by Kevin Conroy, verifies that this Kryptonite asteroid is massive and not even with enough Lead from every Nuclear power plant, Hospital, and every ounce mined out of the earth wouldn’t help Superman. So it is with great reluctance that Superman meets with Luthor and his bodyguard Metallo as played by… (Show a pic of John C. McGinley from Scrubs. Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
Wow, this is actually going to give me the ability to use at least nine years worth of accumulated backlogged hours of Dr. Cox clips.
How many Doctor Cox from “SCRUBS” moments can I fit into a review about Superman and Batman working together to stop President Lex Luthor? Find out here
The Different Cuts of Rocky IV
July 13, 2022 in Blogs, The Last of the Americans
TLOTA (V.O.): The ROCKY movies and its continuation movie series CREED have been quite a solidly entertaining story. With the ROCKY movies it told the tale of an underdog boxer named Rocky Balboa played by Sylvester Stallone as he was given a chance to go for the World Heavyweight Championship against Apollo Creed played by Carl Weathers and the sequels in real-time showed Rocky’s Rise, Fall, and Redemption with who he is and, in the interim, becomes a champion, celebrity, and ultimately Robert “Rocky” Balboa. The continuation movie series CREED tells the tale of Adonis Johnson, a child born of wedlock to Apollo Creed, and his tale of trying to discover who he is by going into the ring and seeing if he is his father’s son or if Adonis is his own man as he should be. The Sequel to Creed sees him dealing with demons of his dad’s and Rocky’s past in the form of the son of Ivan Drago, Viktor played by Florian Munteanu. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA: And Ivan was the challenge that sealed the fates of so many in ROCKY IV! (Cut to the title card from the trailer of Rocky IV then to clips of the movie as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.): While critically it did not do as well as the first three, Rocky IV remains to this day the most commercially successful movie in the entire Rocky franchise. And to celebrate the success of Creed II, Sylvester Stallone decided to release a director’s cut of the film. Interesting choice seeing as how Stallone was the Writer and Director of Rocky IV. But after both the pandemic and other delays in 2021 Rocky IV: Rocky vs Drago was released on digital and it is one of the best directors’ cut of a movie I have seen since The Lord Of The Rings Special Editions. And that is a statement I don’t make lightly. (Cut to James physically) TLOTA: And today, we’re going to decide which movie is the better cut in the four rounds.
The Sylvester Stallone Classic Rocky IV vs The Director’s cut. See who goes the distance here
My reaction/review of the CLERKS III Trailer
July 6, 2022 in The Last of the Americans
Join me as I react/review the trailer to CLERKS III
What is Star Trek Syndrome?
June 22, 2022 in Blogs, The Last of the Americans
TLOTA (V.O.): It is considered the definitive spoof of the Star Trek franchise; however, I think it is more of a semi-autobiographical look at the cast members of the original series! It surprises me every time how much I feel for the actors playing these actors who have to make a living dressed up as their characters just to make ends meet and when things get real, yeah, you could tell that they were fish out of water when real aliens ask them to play the characters for real. Now, don’t get me wrong. I love Galaxy Quest, it’s funny, but it is also where I discovered something that became more prevalent in Star Trek and many long-running series that have gained both infamy and an eternal fan base. I call this phenomenon Star Trek Syndrome.
What is Star Trek Syndrome? Click here to find out
Nine years and “The Quest” continues
June 13, 2022 in Blogs, The Last of the Americans
Linkara: Okay James, let’s do this! Now the people who produced this movie were not the Salkinds even though they were credited as the creators, that was it. As you said best in your Jay & Silent Bob Reboot review I have more involvement in the Power Rangers Franchise than Saban does and Alexander and Ilya Salkind had about as much to do with Superman IV The Quest For Peace! (Cut to James)
TLOTA: Linkara.(Cut to Linkara)
Linkara: And Christopher Reeve’s involvement had to come with an assurance that Golan-Globus’ Cannon films, the people who actually made this movie, would finance a project he wanted to do which was called Street Smart which was Morgan Freeman’s big break! The only reason Margot Kidder and the rest of the cast returned including Gene Hackman was because the relationship was so bitter and contentious between the cast and the Salkinds over the firing of Richard Donner during Superman II’s Production that they’d rather have done a Superman movie produced by Uwe Boll than with the Salkinds again! (Cut to James)
TLOTA: Linkara! (Cut to Linkara)
Linkara: And after the disappointments that happened with Superman III and Supergirl The Movie Alexander and Ilya Salkind were tired and sold the movie rights for an option to Cannon Films who slashed the budget from Thirty-Seven Million Dollars to about half of it and most of what was left went into settling lawsuits and the other half went into making the Masters Of The Universe movie. (Cut to James)
TLOTA: LINKARA! (Cut to a surprised Linkara)
Linkara: What?! (Cut to James)
TLOTA: What are you doing? (Cut to Linkara) Linkara: I’m giving the pertinent information about Superman IV: The Quest For Peace! I have been the go-to guy for this type of information! I have been the go-to guy for a team-up review on Superman IV: The Quest For Peace for a long time! So, with that in mind, let me do what I need to do before we talk about this turkey! (Cut to James)
TLOTA: I appreciate the help, I truly do! However, I already know every single detail about this movie! I did not say I was doing this as a team-up review! I am going to take Superman IV: The Quest For Peace on as a movie that I know a lot about! I am going to talk about this movie on my own! Besides who asked you to come on and review this movie with me. (Cut to Linkara) Linkara: Well, I got an E-Mail from Chad Narducci who had seen me and Allison Pregler review this movie for her series Movie Nights and my Atop The Fourth Wall episode on the Comic Book Adaptation and told me to come on board! (Cut to James) TLOTA: Oy, I have avoided telling anyone this but it’s backstory time. Last year, after the fallout from the events at the end of my Wonder Woman 1984 review, Chad took majority ownership of my production company, First Choice Productions as retribution for the years he lost! This explains the God-awful Daytime Internet Talk Show idea which died a quick and painful death on YouTube. And he has more that he wants to do and I cannot stop him. I can run my series no problem, however, anything I want to do has to be approved by him! Meaning the planned event, I had with you and your associates formerly from that site, is now on hold, indefinitely! (Cut to Linkara) Linkara: So this means I don’t have to work with you or go to your little Pissant Podunk county? Well then, SCREW YOU! I’M FREE! I’M FREE! (Linkara runs off-screen as clothes are tossed onto the futon!) Linkara (O.S.): I’M FREE! I’M FREE! I’M FREE! I AM NUDE AND BEAUTIFUL AND I AM FREE!
Jon Cryer: Hi, who is this and how can I be of assistance! (Cut to a very surprised James)
TLOTA: Ladies and gentlemen, the man himself, Jon Cryer! (Cut to Jon Cryer as he accepts applause from everyone. Cut to James)
TLOTA: Glad you could be here, I am an internet reviewer, James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and I am reviewing a movie that features you and the first publicly known usage of a Nintendo Entertainment System on film. (Cut to Jon Cryer)
Jon Cryer: I am in a movie that has the first known usage of a Nintendo on film! How about that? Which movie of mine was that? (Cut to a very nervous James)
TLOTA: You know! That movie! (Cut to a slowly getting angry Jon Cryer.)
Jon Cryer: Which movie, James? (Cut to the nervous James who is sweating Kryptonite Bullets)
TLOTA: You remember (James blubs the title of the movie. Cut to a confused Jon Cryer.)
Jon Cryer: What did you say the movie’s title was? (Cut to James as he prepares to crap Kryptonite Bricks and blubs the title.)
TLOTA: You remember, the movie where (James blubs and speaks in tongues trying to avoid saying the movie’s plot and characters, and tosses in him doing the Bundy “Honk-Honk”, “Caa-Caa, Doo-Doo, Poo-Poo!” & “PEE-PEE!” and chuckling idiotically. Cut to a very confused Jon Cryer)
Jon Cryer: Okay, I am according to the signal tracker app on my phone I am near where you are, I will be there momentarily, and maybe you will be able to tell me what it is you’re reviewing. (Jon Cryer walks away. Cut to a very relieved James)
TLOTA: Phew! If he knew I was reviewing Superman IV: The Quest For Peace… (Cut to Jon Cryer who overheard James say the movie’s title.)
Jon Cryer (Angered): HA! I knew you’d slip up! God FUCKING DAMN IT! Every single time I think it’s dead, Boom! Another one of you internet reviewers is harping on my performance as Lenny! Always making me the butt of the joke! ALWAYS MAKING ME SUFFER THE SLINGS AND ARROWS OF YOUR VENOM! I HAVE HAD MORE OF A CAREER THAN ANY OF YOU NUMBNUTS EVER HAD! I CARRIED CHARLIE SHEEN AND ASHTON FRICKING KUTCHER FOR A TOTAL OF TWELVE YEARS ON TWO AND A HALF MEN! I’VE BEEN IN SO MANY MOVIES AND TV SHOWS! I WAS LEX GOD DAMNED LUTHOR ON Melissa Benoist’s SUPERGIRL SERIES. BUT WHAT DOES EVERYONE GO BACK TO? EITHER DUCKIE FROM PRETTY IN PINK, which I don’t mind. OR THE ETERNALLY FLAMING TURD THAT CAN NEVER GO AWAY THAT YOU AND EVERYONE OF YOUR BRETHREN SEEM TO JUST NEVER WANT TO FORGET! And if that is the case, I am going to find you, and as Lenny said best “YOU’RE GONNA GET IT!”
Linkara goes crazy and takes off everything and Jon Cryer is out to hurt me! Find how that happened here!
My Top Ten “James Bond” movies
May 24, 2022 in The Last of the Americans
A Man:
Terribly sorry, but I must leave while I have my winnings. (Cut to a beautiful woman played by Julia Alexa Miller as she takes a drink.)
The Beautiful Woman:
A shame, I won’t be able to reclaim what I lost from you, Mister…. (Cut to James Faraci dressed as James Bond)
TLOTA:
The Name’s Faraci…(James drinks the drink in one gulp) James Faraci The Last Of The Americans (James slams the glass on the table as it cuts to a James Bond-esque opening at the 0:35-2:42 mark of “The Name Is Bond…James Bond”. Cut to James as he morphs into The Last Of The Americans and heads to his office as “The Name is Bond…James Bond” finishes.)
TLOTA:
I’m James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans, and the views that I’m about to express are that of my own and some of yours, the fact that the James Bond movies have been around for 60 years has surprised me! (Cut to various James Bond movies as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
But the fact he has endured so much, including being re-casted five times since Sean Connery was cast by Albert “Cubby” Broccoli’s ION Productions, and that’s not counting all the different other actors in the likes of Audio Dramas and Other Media, this character has become a group of characters that everyone on the planet knows about. His movies through the decades have been hit and miss and that seems to be a weird thing for a Spy with a license to kill to have. But today, I am celebrating him by counting down 10 of my favorite movies featuring OO7. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
Now Spoilers will be at a minimum, I will not be going in chronological order and all of these are my choices. So enjoy your favorite drink, Shaken Not Stirred. These are my Top Ten favorite James Bond Movies.
Roll Me Over “Beethoven”
May 17, 2022 in The Last of the Americans
(The scene begins with a laser beam in the sky as the music of the 1994 American Gladiators opening theme plays the angle of the camera goes into the laser as four shadowed figures with lasered outlines appear as the shadows reveal themselves to be James Faraci in the center, Kent Lilly and Paulo Fonseca on the right and Rebecca Yaun on the left as their names appear above the characters. As they run out of frame moving towards the camera, four more shadowed figures with lasered outlines appear, and the shadows reveal themselves as Brenda Fonseca on the right, Nick Yaun on the left, and John and Mike Santos and their names appear above the characters. As they run out of frame moving forward moving towards the camera, five more shadowed figures with lasered outlines appear as they reveal themselves to be Renee Miller and Eric Kurtzke on the right, Andrew Beach and Ed Champion on the left, and Olivia Horvath appears in the center as their names appear above the characters. As they run out of frame credits of “Written by James Faraci with assistance from Steve Kidd, Edited by Eric Kurtzke, Makeup by Olivia Horvath Produced by First Choice Productions, Directed by James Faraci” as it ends the Laser beam disappears and at the 0:28 mark of the theme song the laser beam cut out the words “The” “Last” “Of” “The” appear. At the 0:32-0:36 mark, the term “Americans” start to come forward as it pulls down, and James’ Morpher and Sonic Screwdriver is flung into the frame as James grabs both and morphs into The Last Of The Americans with James and half of team TLOTA on his right and the other half on his left as the camera pulls back to see the slab with the markings “The Last Of The Americans.” Cut to Steve Kidd as he hums “Yum-Dee-Dee-Dee-Dee-Dee-Hua-Hua!” as he prepares to check in on James as there is audio coming from Studio’s break room with James’s shouting of “EENIE, MEENIE, MINEY DIE!” and the break room breaking out into angry cross-talking. Steve walks in to see James, Julia Alexa Miller with Team TLOTA dressed in Neo-Classical/Napoleonic era high society wear except for Chad Narducci as the others try to shove Chad towards James and Alex trying to keep the two away. Cut to Steve as he looks very confused and he knocks on the door as it cuts to James turning and putting down the Bowie Knife.)
TLOTA:
Steve? Hey, what’s up with you dude? (Cut to Steve Kidd)
Steve Kidd:
I was about to ask you the same thing! (Cut to everyone else)
Julia Alexa Miller:
Well, Steve, it’s a bit complicated and crazy! (Cut to Steve Kidd)
Steve Kidd:
I’m all ears. (Cut to Team TLOTA)
Paulo Fonseca:
Well Firstly, James thought he wanted to do something a little classier than the usual fare around here.
Brenda Fonseca:
So he figured on reviewing a movie on the works and life of one Ludwig Von Beethoven
John Santos:
And for research’s sake unlike JFK or Amadeus, James decided that we were to go to the time of Ludwig Von Beethoven and listen to his work and story in case the movie decided to skip over crucial details.
Mike Santos:
So we find ourselves heading to the Neo-Classical/Napoleonic Era of music, the 1810’s when from out of nowhere, boom, creatures from God only knows wherever they came from find themselves trying to kill Beethoven!
Andrew Beach:
James hits the notes for Beethoven’s Fifth thus inspiring the Maestro to compose the piece.
Ed Champion:
We’re soon run out of there with our asses nearly getting slaughtered because Eric called Napoleon’s plans crazy.
Eric Kurtzke:
And Renee may have made a reference to Napoleon’s height which really set the dude off. (Cut to James and Julia Alexa Miller)
TLOTA:
And just when I think the worst is behind us, Chad didn’t even get us the right movie! (Cut to Steve Kidd)
Steve Kidd:
Well to my knowledge, there was never a movie about the classic composer. (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
EXACTLY! HE HAD TO GET ME THE ONE WITH THE OBNOXIOUS CREATURE and A Saint Bernard!
How do Charles Grodin, A Saint Bernard, and A Classical Composer cross paths? Find out here
Connect The Plots: MCU+NETFLIX Marvel Series+ Disney Plus MCU Series=The Snap
April 26, 2022 in The Last of the Americans
TLOTA:
I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and the views that I’m about to express are that of my own and some of yours, and welcome to another edition of “Connect The Plots” (Cut to a scene of James trying to connect certain things together like the theatrical version of “Halloween: The Curse Of Michael Myers” & “Halloween: H20”, All the movie adaptations of Stephen King, Superman Returns to the original Salkind Superman movies, the first three X-Men movies to the newer ones and the “Wolverine” & “Deadpool” movies before cutting to James strapped down in a straight jacket all the while a kid sings “Connect The Plots La-La-La!” before panning down to see anything that might have a minor connection spell the words “Connect The Plots” before cutting to clips of The Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Netflix Marvel Series, and the Disney+ Marvel Series as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
At the time of this post, The Marvel Cinematic Universe has become the most successful cinematic franchise BAR NONE! Since the inception of the MCU has made a whopping twenty-three BILLION dollars! And has gone on to make more revenue through their Disney+ series, “Agent Carter”, “Agents Of SHIELD” and something that has been questioned since both the “Hawkeye” series and “Spider-Man: No Way Home” is something that had been dismissed by fans as cannon is the Netflix series Starring Daredevil, Jessica Jones, Luke Cage, Iron Fist and The Punisher. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
Why is that? Well, at the time the series was on Netflix, The MCU was in its second phase which ended with Avengers: Age Of Ultron. When they were forcibly ended some were in the middle of good storylines or baiting for more seasons. So as the MCU continued these series fell into obscurity and not helping was the failures of “Marvel’s Inhumans” and I wholly understand. But after watching the Disney+ Marvel Series with the exception of Moon Knight which I’m in starting to watch, the Netflix Marvel series, and the MCU. I think I can clear up the canonicity problem with…(James pulls out a fully loaded Infinity Gauntlet) A snap! (The sound of Thor shouting “NO!” is heard as the snap takes place)
After the snap from Thanos arose ground-level heroes in the MCU! Wanna know how? Find out here
April’s showers bring A whole lotta “CARNAGE”
April 12, 2022 in The Last of the Americans
TLOTA:
James Faraci…
Enthusiastic Fan:
The Last Of The Americans and The views we’re about to express are that of our own and some of everyone’s!
TLOTA:
You got Chutzpah! I like that…Uh…
Enthusiastic Fan:
Kent Lilly!
TLOTA:
Kent, listen I’m glad you are here, ALWAYS glad to be recognized by and be with the fans. That argument Me and my team had, I hope you understand…
Kent Lilly:
Oh! I understand, Chad didn’t exactly think it out for you to…
TLOTA:
The Bottom line is, I’m here, you’re here, whatever your movie choice is, we’ll do it!
Kent Lilly:
Well, one of my favorite reviews was one that was done in 2019, it was the review of VENOM in which…
TLOTA:
I had put Tom Hardy and the characters he portrayed and the movies he was in with moments from THE ROOM. I wonder how much you truly know. November 2013, Where was I when I reviewed The Green Hornet, and which movie maker and his movie did I reference to show how much I hated being in that place?
Kent Lilly:
The level of Dante’s Inferno where TMZ was. Seth Rogen and The Green Hornet and then you referenced the movie Dogma by reenacting the scene in which Matt Damon’s Loki slaughtered every exec who was running the Mooby: The Golden Calf series.
TLOTA:
Alright, February 2015, My Ben Affleck Trilogy, How crazy did GIGLI drive me?
Kent Lilly:
You killed five people. Shouldn’t you be in prison?
TLOTA:
Alright, you are doing really good! May 2015, What Kids show programming block did I talk about and with whom did I do it as a crossover, AND what did Paulo mention that sent my crossover partner into a crazed foaming frenzy?
Kent Lilly:
Fox Kids, the Rowdy Reviewer, and Paulo mentioned Ninja Turtles: The Next Mutation.
TLOTA:
You are knocking it out of the park! Okay, March 2018, I was kidnapped by whom, and who else was with me, and What did I, against my will, review?
Kent Lilly:
Brendan Rooney, Mike J, and Rowdy were with you, and The Cutting Edge: Going for the Gold.
TLOTA:
You know your stuff there, hombre! Final question: In which movie did I not want to review but I had no choice but to review because it needed to be reviewed, did I meet Alex?
Kent Lilly:
Uh…The 2 Tails: A Mermaid Adventure.
TLOTA:
You were off by two points. One, The Movie was called “The 3 Tails: A Mermaid Adventure” and two, Alex was doing a video promoting a special for Life As A Mermaid on YouTube as I decided to try to avoid reviewing it, but overall, you’re a fan. So, what was the movie you wanted to review?
Reality Checkout: “The Real World” destruction of MTV
March 16, 2022 in The Last of the Americans
TLOTA:
I’m James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans, and the views I’m about to express are that of my own & some of yours and welcome to another edition of Reality Checkout! (Cut to Video Purchasing Store checkout counter in which John Santos is a brainless idiot purchasing Reality T.V. series while James is the clerk who looks at the guy as if he were an idiot and slowly gets angry and does him a favor by buying him a copy of all the seasons of the restarted “Doctor Who” series as he takes the Reality T.V. series and places them in Port-a-Potty along with a lit stick of Dynamite and then James runs like hell as an image of Kim Kardashian is seen covered in fecal matter and the only clean part is the words “Reality Checkout” while the theme from “Welcome Freshmen” plays in the background before cutting to the MTV Launch video from 1981 and Music Videos as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
In 1981 MTV was launched and became synonymous with one idea redefining what music would be like forever and while they did try some original programming like game shows and dance series like “Club MTV” and different shows centered around different genres of music like ” Headbangers Ball”, “120 Minutes” & “Yo MTV Raps!”. However, by 1991 the network was starting to change and promote a different series, which was based on a documentary series that was loosely inspired by “An American Family,” a series that saw the destruction of The Loud Family and no, I do not mean that series on “Nickelodeon.” (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
And the series was meant to show the youth of the generation, or how TV Producers think what the youth of the generation was and the series had the following opening phrase that changed the course of MTV forever! “This is the true story…of seven strangers…picked to live and work together…and have their lives taped…to find out what happens…when people stop being polite…and start getting real…THE REAL WORLD”
The Powers That Be: All the Powers that glitters are not a “Goldmember”
March 8, 2022 in The Last of the Americans
TLOTA:
Hello, what’s up, chief? She was Where? You mean to tell me that we (Cut to James, Chad, and Julia Alexa Miller in the waiting room at the II-DOD hours later as James is standing with his face in front of a wall and Chad standing with his face in front of another wall!) wasted months of traveling FOR NOTHING!
Julia Alexa Miller:
Well, you caught a villain, and from what I heard, the two of you got along better than you have for years.
TLOTA:
Alex, you were trapped in the broom closet for a couple of hours, had it not been for Rebecca and Nick, it would’ve been worse for you.
Chad Narducci:
Now, as for us catching Dr. Vile, according to the leader of the free world, he has a catch and release program for terrorists who want to take over the world with a caveat. With each failure of their plan, they forfeit whatever technology they create, and their capital is added to the national debt relief!
Julia Alexa Miller:
So the two of you did all this for nothing. What was the point of the trip?!
Is this how my journey to activate the MOJO ends? Find out here
