James Faraci The Last Of The Americans

(0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it before cutting to James in his office physically)

TLOTA:
I’m James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans, and the views I’m about to express are that of my own & some of yours. So the last few times I talked about something either crazy or something movie based on music, I mentioned two different things “The Monkees” or their only cinematic outing “Head” (Cut to the title card of “Head” then clips of the movie as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
And to be fair, this movie even today is one gigantic mindfuck! But there is a story that needs to be told behind this movie and its four stars. The Late Davy Jones, The Late Peter Tork, Michael Nesmith & Mickey Dolenz when combined performed as “The Monkees”. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
And to tell the story of “Head”, I have to tell the story of how we got here. Imagine yourself in the 1960s you’ve seen the movies “A Hard Day’s Night” & “HELP!” which starred instantaneous musical icons “The Beatles” and you decided to do a series starring four semi-unknown performers to capitalize on their success.

See the tale of The Monkees and their cinematic “Head” Trip right here:

The Summer of Summer Spectaculars continues in the Summer of 2014

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
The Finale

James Daniel Walsh:
Well James, since you are as much a Superman fan, I figured you might want to watch and analyze all three versions of “Superman: The Movie” with me! Besides, I said to you I want to do it. (The Last of The Americans joins James Daniel Walsh)
TLOTA:
Okay then let’s talk about “The Different Cuts of Superman: The Movie”
(Whistling version “The Lumberjack Song” is heard as Team TLOTA dressed as Lumberjacks see a gigantic piece of film celluloid and James chops it down and the other members cut it to different lengths and on the ends sticking out of the back of the truck the words “The Different Cuts” are seen in differing syllables. Cut to the opening of “Superman: The Movie” then to clips of the movie as James Daniel Walsh and The Last Of The Americans do voiceovers.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
As stated before, by the 1970s Superman’s popularity had hit such a low that the bottom of the barrel isn’t even at the start of how low Superman had fallen especially as to how people treated Superman as a character and of course, Superfriends pretty much were working network standards and practices to their breaking point. (Cut to James Faraci and James Daniel Walsh dressed in white button-up shirts and black ties.)
Network S&P man #1 (Played by James Faraci):
David, did you see this joke about Superman having landed on Fire Island? (The two briefly laugh)
Network S&P man #2 (Played by James Daniel Walsh):
Cut it! Oh Steve, see this Superman joke in San Francisco with him going over the rainbow? (The Two briefly laugh)
Network S&P man #1:
Gone!
Network S&P man #2:
Good! (The two open bottles of Jack Daniels after reading the script. Cut to clips of “Superman The Movie” as James Daniel Walsh and The Last Of The Americans do voiceovers.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
But after the success of “Jaws” in 1975, “Rocky” in 1976 & the original “Star Wars” in 1977, movies were starting to be more entertaining and father and son producing duo Alexander & Ilya Salkind fresh off of making “The Three Musketeers” and its sequel decided to try their hand at doing Superman justice and after going through half of Hollywood’s directing pool chose Richard Donner to direct this movie and its sequel.
James Daniel Walsh (V.O.):
However, when Production decided to focus on the first movie they had to hope for the best and pray for the worst. What happened was that the movie went on to be the highest-grossing movie for Warner Bros. for a long time. However, in 2000 Warner Bros. released a special edition of the movie and this version is the one Richard Donner considers his favorite version. Little did any of us know growing up who became a fan of both versions of this movie there was a third cut made specifically for TV which threw every scene they had in the book in terms of deleted scenes which was released on Blu-Ray in 2017. I would guess this is the cut of the movie I saw when I was three, which is literally my first ever memory. (Cut to James Daniel Walsh and The Last Of The Americans on the horseshoe couch)
TLOTA:
Well since you we take a look at the Extended TV Cut and compare them against the 1978 original and the 2000 Special Edition versions in “The Different Cuts”. And the way this segment works is…
James Daniel Walsh
I’m aware of the four categories for judgment. “The Plot”, “Editing”, “Cast & Characters” and finally “The Re-Watch Factor”.
TLOTA:
Precisely!

Join James Daniel Walsh & Me as we talk about The Different Cuts of Superman: The Movie here

TLOTA: Well if this is it, then I’m going down the way I want to… Fighting for my freedom. I’m James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans & That’s My Opinion.

What happened at the end of my review of “To Boldly Flee” Find out here

TLOTA:
(James sighs and holds his head before picking it up) You know, as I watched this movie, I thought to myself is this the hopelessness Joel and The Bots felt whilst watching “Castle Of Fu Manchu”, the belief that we all pay a past life’s dues for every crime we suffer the same way Siskel & Ebert felt whilst watching “Frozen Assets”, the same feeling of loss of life Siskel & Ebert felt as they watched “She’s Out Of Control”. Maybe it’s the past few years just catching up with me of all the losses I’ve suffered just hitting me all at once, maybe it’s…it’s…OH, WHAT’S THE USE? WHY AM I WATCHING THIS? WHY AM I DOING THIS TO MYSELF! (James breaks down into tears)

What could cause me to break down and cry? What has David Hasselhoff & Allison Pregler caused that gave me a meltdown? Find out here

(Fade to James sitting down looking normal and Eliza Dushku slack jawed and eyes bugging out of her head)

Eliza Dushku: Oh…my…God!

TLOTA: Well, I hope You now have a better knowledge of who I am and can now enjoy the ride a little more.

Eliza Dushku: Actually…no!

TLOTA: NO?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN, NO?!

Eliza Dushku: YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT I MEAN WHEN I SAY NO! OKAY, HERE IS WHAT I MEAN. FOR EVERY ANSWER I GOT AND EVERY BIT OF INFORMATION I DISCOVER IT LEADS ME TO ASK TWO MORE QUESTIONS AND DIG EVEN FURTHER. YOU ARE ONE OF THOSE TYPES OF MYSTERIES THAT’S LIKE ATLANTIS, BIGFOOT, THE LOCH NESS MONSTER. A QUESTION WITHOUT ANSWERS. And I can’t understand you or understand things about you like “The Wicked” or “Caliverti” or why no one remembers anything connecting you to Lea Michele? (The Sad Man With A Box plays in the background as James sighs sadly)

TLOTA: Okay. You want to know everything. You got it. Follow Me! (James walks towards ORAC’s Chamber’s back wall as the panel opens up and James Shows Her the Gem from The Gauntlet Malachite’s Hand and The Bracelet it’s on, The Ring of Aeon, The Sword of Caliverti & Emmalina’s Amulet.)

Eliza Dushku: What is this?

TLOTA (Audio only): Just somethings I accumulated in my travels. (Cut to James at a vault)

TLOTA: And Some memories I keep to remind me of what my life should’ve been. (James opens the vault and uses his Sonic Screwdriver to disengage the safety protocols on Lea Michele’s Sonic Screwdriver before turning to Eliza.)

TLOTA: In one brief moment, you’ll discover it all.

Eliza Dushku: What is it you’re going to do to me?

TLOTA: You’ll know. You will finally know the answers you’re looking for.

How will Eliza know all about James ending this chapter in my Summer Of Summer Spectaculars? Find out here.

(Scene fades to James & Eliza)

TLOTA: Well, enjoying the look through my past?

Eliza Dushku: Wow, you were a part of a chorus that performed for the Miss New York of 1996 & Governor Pataki’s Wife. You any good?

TLOTA: Well, I tried to sing and act when I was in my High School performances. But during that time, my twin nieces were infants and I made a choice to stay in their lives instead of reaching for a brass ring I knew would I’d never get.

Eliza Dushku: Well anything I should know about before the final review?

TLOTA: Well, ORAC, explain.

ORAC: During production of the final movie Thatguywiththeglasses.com faced inner turmoil as Jillian Zurowski and Brad Jones alias The Cinema Snob Had Divorced and Noah “Spoony” Antwiler had made what many considered disrespectful comments towards Hope Chapman who now goes by Justin after transitioning from female to male had been released from the site not long before the release of the first part of this multiple part special that when combined is three and a half hours long!

Eliza Dushku: THREE & HALF HOURS?! What was he doing, a remake of “The Hobbit”?

TLOTA: Not really, it was considered the Nostalgia Critic’s last hurrah and I guess Doug Walker wanted him to go out with a bang.

Eliza Dushku: Okay well, what about you James.

TLOTA: I was about to become an uncle for the third time from my oldest brother and the father of my twin nieces, my sister had come back from Ohio and my other brother was going to get married. I had sent out 500 requests to people and guess what, NOT ONE YES in the entirety. As a matter of fact, I needed three of the harshest ones to be done by a certain trio your old buddy Joss had. As a matter of fact, here’s the prop from the movie. (Paulo Fonseca, Eric Kurtzke and Nick Yaun jump out of nowhere as The Bad Horse Trio to scare Eliza Dushku and sing the Bad Horse Chorus!)

Eliza Dushku: Was that…. ?

TLOTA: If you’re referring to The Bad Horse Trio then yes. Oh hey look it here two that didn’t make the cut.

Eliza Dushku: As in…

TLOTA: Weren’t used in the final decision I had for the three I needed for the review. This one is yours. (James opens the letter as the instrumental music from the Bad Horse Chorus is played and the Bad Horse Trio pop up.)

Bad Horse Trio: Hello there James, let me say your intelligence is the worst. Write to me again and you’ll be in a Hurst! I’d soon rather eat ten tons of moose poo! So go away and leave me be signed Eliza Dushku!

Eliza Dushku: Well I was in a relationship so that might explain my desire not to go out on a date with you but who is the other letter from.

TLOTA: Well the other one was so obscure I was sure I had a shot but even SHE turned me down! (James opens the letter as the instrumental music from the Bad Horse Chorus is played and the Bad Horse Trio pop up and in the middle of it Eliza Dushku starts taking down the trio one at a time until the Bowler Hat wearing member played by Nick Yaun is left.)

Bad Horse Trio: Hello James Faraci, please do me a favor and never write to me again for you are a bore! (Eliza takes the Winker and Blackie taken off screen as they’re killed in a painful manor off screen) I’d soon rather have my colon taken over with a plague carrying rat! Now go parp off and go away signed Tina Barrett! (A Gun shot is heard as The Bowler Hat Wearing member is shot dead.)

TLOTA: Now why did you do that?

Eliza Dushku: Did you ever think why I never did “Dr. Horrible”? I don’t mind working with Joss if he wants me to but even I have standards.

ORAC: The review is ready and two last noteworthy notes to be mentioned. The Rowdy Reviewer assisted in James in the process of writing it and was given a co-writer credit and a co-reviewer on this and after the sudden cancellation in 1981 of the series “Blake’s 7” to which I was a part of, I make my return to the Popular Culture in this review. With that said I am engaging the review of “To Boldly Flee”

TLOTA: You watch, meanwhile I’ve got to clean up the mess you made.

(The two fade to black as we cut to a wave crashing on the beach as the music of “David’s Dream” from the pilot of “The Incredible Hulk” plays in the background as James sits on the beach contemplating before standing up to walk towards the water as the scene cuts to a first person perspective as a female hand comes up to James and James turns around and it shows James happy for the what feels like for the first time in an eternity and the two of them enjoy the moment of happiness until a dark cloud appears on the horizon as James and the female are moments are away from kissing and the scene cuts to James’ parents comes to him as “David’s Nightmare” from the pilot of “The Incredible Hulk” plays in the background and the scene returns to the first person perspective and James is forced not to move as the female walks backwards into the water and James struggles to escape as he and his parents sink eventually the music reaches its most intense as James inaudibly shouts “NO!” as it slowly becomes audible before cutting to James waking up breathing heavy in his bed in a pool of sweat looking around seeing he’s still in his room and noticing it’s 2 A.M. and goes on a cursing rant that puts the kids from “South Park” to shame before screaming and laying back down before the intro to “Heil Honey I’m Home!” plays and James screams in anger, gets out of bed, grabs a crowbar and walks out his bedroom door before James’ mom stops James)

James’ mom: James, it doesn’t have to end like this.

TLOTA: MOM MAKE THE CHOICE! ME! YOU! DAD! THE TV! OR THE DISK!

James’ mom: The Disk?

TLOTA: Good choice! (The intro continues to play as James walks down the hallway as he hits the eject button to eject the Disk from the DVD player and James tosses the Disk Player and uses the crowbar to play baseball with the disk as it ricochets off the mantle, off the spinning blades of the ceiling fan and then gets demolished as the disk makes its way back to James as it hits the crowbar before cutting to James’ dad.)

James’ dad: Why did you do that? (Cut to James standing next to his mom stuttering “Why did I do that?”)

TLOTA: WHY DID I DO THAT?! Oh Let me tell you why I did that! Ever since I had to get it away from my friend YOU’VE PLAYED IT NON-STOP! I’VE BEEN HEARING IT EVERY WAKING FUCKING HOUR! IT’S ALWAYS (James mocks the intro and dialogue of “Heil Honey I’m Home as James’ mom & dad look in fear until he screams in anger.)

James’ mom: Feel better son?

TLOTA: NO! AND WHAT’S WORSE IS THAT WITH CHRIS’ WEDDING COMING CLOSER AND CLOSER I STILL DON’T HAVE A DATE 500 MESSAGES TO 500 WOMEN AND GUESS HOW MANY NOS I GOT?

James’ mom: 499?

James’ dad: 1?

TLOTA: 500! And the last three were the final nail in the coffin!

James’ dad: Let me look at one. (James’ dad opens the letter as the instrumental music from the Bad Horse Chorus is played and the Bad Horse Trio played by Paulo Fonseca, Eric Kurtzke & Nick Yaun pop up.)

Bad Horse Trio: Hello there James Faraci, please get this through your brain. Your father is a Nazi and you’re insane! I’d soon rather eat my weight in Marble Tiles! Now go away and leave me alone. Signed Julia Stiles! (Cut to James and his mom)

James’ mom: It can’t be as bad you make it out to be. (James’ mom opens the letter as the instrumental music from the Bad Horse Chorus is played and the Bad Horse Trio pop up.)

Bad Horse Trio: Hello there James Faraci, please get this through your skull. Your parents seem to smother you and it makes you dull! I’d soon rather take my life with a dull razor’s edge! So never write to me again. Signed Audrina Patridge!

TLOTA: You two STILL need proof, allow me! (James opens the letter as the instrumental music from the Bad Horse Chorus is played and the Bad Horse Trio pop up.)

Bad Horse Trio: Hello there James Faraci, please get this through your head. I’d never go out with you if I were brain dead! I’m getting married next year just so you know! Now go away, leave me alone, eat shit and die…

Blackie of The Bad Horse Trio (Played by Eric Kurtzke): BURN IN HELL!

Bad Horse Trio: Signed Christy Romano.

TLOTA: And then there is near billion rejections from women I asked online!

James’ dad: Don’t you know…

TLOTA: YES, DAD I KNOW. Now if you’ll excuse me. I’m going to try to get some sleep in peace and quiet, in the camper! (Cut to James walking to the Camper as James he tries to not to get bug bit and as he opens the door and turns on the light.)

TLOTA: What the hell are you three doing here? (The Camera spins to see Christy Romano, Julia Stiles and Audrina Partridge with a confused look on their faces before cutting to the outside of the camper as noises emanate from inside ending with James screaming “MY LOINS ARE ALIVE WITH THE SOUND OF WHOOPIE!” and the echo is so loud it cuts to Chris Lee Moore in his apartment hearing a faint echo of James shouting ringing in his ears.)

TLOTA: Wow, something good happen must have had to James, wish something good would happen to me. This Kim Possible episode is just being a pain in the neck. Maybe I should take a break. (Chris turns on his TV)

T.V. (Audio by James Faraci): And in national news The Internet Personality known as “The Last Of The Americans” has been declared an enemy of the state. (Cut to the TV Screen as President Obama denounces James Faraci The Last Of The Americans as an enemy of the state before cutting to James dressed as a news anchorman with a fake cheesy looking mustache)

News Anchorman: As of this moment, James Faraci The Last Of The Americans has yet to comment. (Cut to Rowdy looking at the TV)

Rowdy: There is no way President Obama would do something against us, that’d be stupid. (Cut to the TV News anchorman)

News Anchorman: Are you serious? Look up on Youtube when he said to a bunch of farmers “You didn’t do this”. It actually happened! (The News Anchorman shuts off Rowdy’s TV.)

Rowdy: Huh, that was odd. WAIT A SECOND! James is in trouble! LET’S RIDE!

Can Rowdy save my backside in the next chapter in my Summer Of Summer Spectaculars? Find out here

(Scene fades into James & Eliza in ORAC’s chamber)

Eliza Dushku: Wow, that first review was very informative to your beginning. Swore like a sailor and had a bit of an anger problem, didn’t ya.

TLOTA: You don’t know the half of it, I’d been through a lot during that time. I buried my grandmother, I was heartbroken because this girl I wanted was getting married, hell everyone around me was in a relationship and I was and unfortunately I am still single I was in the mood more to rip something apart. Kickassia was the only thing that was so bad I felt I needed to go at it like a Tiger after an Antelope. Fortunately, between my review of Kickassia and my review Suburban Knights which is next I was more on Facebook than Myspace, befriended Chris Lee Moore “The Rowdy Reviewer” and I mellowed out and things while not exactly as great as it should be it’s getting better.

Eliza Dushku: Okay so that answers some questions, but where did the intro line and exit line come from again?

ORAC: A Wrestling Promoter named Jim Cornette as his shoot editorial promotions he did while employed to what is now called World Wrestling Entertainment became popular on Youtube.

TLOTA: ORAC, she was talking to me. But yeah that’s the long and short of it. Anything else you find interesting?

Eliza Dushku: Yeah, you have a Presidential Academic Achievement Award when you graduated. Awesome. Oh wait it was from George W. Bush.

TLOTA: He wasn’t that bad a President.

ORAC: Alert! The Second Review is about to begin!

Eliza Dushku: We’ll talk later, review first!

TLOTA: Okay ORAC. Play my review of “Suburban Knights”! (The two fade to black as we cut to overhead panning shots of Washington DC as “Drebin Hero!” Plays in the background until it goes to a still of the White House and inside a private office James sits with the President.)

President Obama: So you understand now don’t you? (Cut to James sitting regrettably close to Obama)

TLOTA: Yes Mr. President, you were just trying to force the Nostalgia Critic out of Molossia in order to make him pay for the treason. (Cut to President Obama)

President Obama: Now that has been cleared up… (Audio of “Go Go Power Rangers” is heard as it cuts to James)

TLOTA: One moment Mr. President. My Cell Phone. (James answers his phone) Yes! (Sped up audio is heard) Whoa, ho hey John Slow it down! (Sped Up Audio is heard) The Third Year Anniversary Special from ThatGuyWithTheGlasses.com is up? (Sped up Audio is heard.) Okay, I’m on my way! (James walks out of the private office as he changes out of his fancy clothes and into his regular ones as “Mission Impossible” sound-alike plays in the background.) I.G., I.G. this is NY4Life, proceed with Operation “It’s Morphin’ Time”, repeat Operation “It’s Morphin’ Time” is a go!

Irate Gamer (Audio only): Roger that but AW SHEE-IT, how the hell do I operate this thing and which end of the gun… (A Silenced shot is heard then a dull thud)

TLOTA: God Damn it. Rowdy C, Rowdy C commence with Operation “It’s Morphin’ Time”, repeat We are good to go with Operation “It’s Morphin’ Time”

Rowdy (Audio only): Roger that, what happened to the Irate Gamer.

TLOTA: Knowing him, he blew his own brains out.

Rowdy (Audio only): DIDN’T I TELL YOU NOT TO HIRE HIM?!

TLOTA: Yes.

(Cut to James walking out the front of the White House as he enters his ride and a gunshot is heard as “The Naked Gun Theme” plays in the background and the scene cuts to a rear projected car and James is behind the wheel passing famous moments in driving pop culture even driving in the “Return Of The Jedi” Death Star until James winds up home stepping out of his ride and his cell phone rings.)

TLOTA: Hey, how’s it going? (James nods and goes Mm-Hmm several times) So the President is safe and Insano has been shot through the head. Man I love it when a plan comes together. (James walks out of his ride before cutting to James in his room a half hour later.)

TLOTA: I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and the views I’m about to express are that of my own and some of yours. Well after seeing Kickassia last year, I thought I was right as to how bad it was and after seeing it a few more times, I can honestly say it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was. (Cut to clips of “Kickassia” as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (Voiceover): I mean granted it’s not Shakespeare but it could’ve been worse and trust me for their Dollar Store Budget it was fairly funny and at times more entertaining than it was when I saw it the first time and I decided to put my faith in the people from Channel Awesome and ThatGuyWithTheGlasses.com on them doing better next time. How does The Summer of Summer Spectaculars continue? Find out here.

(Scene begins in the deserts outside of the borders of Nevada and Molossia as the song “Beirut Vacation” from The Naked Gun plays in the background before the camera moves to the outside of the Government House before zooming to the door before cutting to the inside of the government house where everyone is talking indistinctly as it cuts to The Nostalgia Critic slamming his mallet and shouting order)

Nostalgia Critic: ORDER! ORDER! WE SHALL HAVE ORDER! (Cut to Benzaie & Marzgurl)

Benzaie: You know Nietzsche said “From Chaos comes Order”

Marzgurl: Blow it out your ass Benzaie! (Cut to the Nostalgia Critic)

Nostalgia Critic: My Fellow Kickassians, I would like to thank you all for your patience as we stabilize our… (Nostalgia Critic continues to pontificate as one figure fully covered walks in the background around the place and answers the door as a man covered in a cloak walks in as Linkara and Cinema Snob look at what’s going on.)

Cinema Snob: Hey Linkara, who’s the guy in the cloak?

Linkara: No clue, who’s the guy without the face.

Cinema Snob: From what I heard he was here when Baugh ran this place. (Cut to The Nostalgia Critic continuing his pontification!)

Nostalgia Critic: And it is with that in mind we take over the United States! (Cut to Paw)

Paw: And their President will just let you that? (Cut to the Nostalgia Critic turning with his back towards the camera and turns to the camera)

Nostalgia Critic: OF COURSE! (Cut to everyone looking)

Nostalgia Critic (Audio only): Who do you think financed this little invasion? Behold the true mastermind! (Cut to the man in the cloak revealing himself to be President Barack Obama)

Barack Obama: My friends, the time has come for my country to fall and you will lead the invasion and you will have backing from some of America’s enemies! (Cut to The Nostalgia Critic)

Nostalgia Critic: And we shall be victorious! TO THE DOWNFALL OF AMERICA! (Cut to Film Brain)

Film Brain: THREE CHEERS TO THE NOSTALGIA CRITIC! HIP! HIP! (Everyone else unenthusiastically audibly says “Hurray”. The audio of Film brain enthusiastically saying Hip! Hip! & everyone else unenthusiastically audibly saying “Hurray” is heard as The Nostalgia Critic and President Obama raise their hands united in victory as the fully covered figure pulls out a dagger in the background and walks towards President Obama and The Nostalgia Critic as The audio of Film brain enthusiastically saying Hip! Hip! & Everyone else is in mid unenthusiastic “Hurray” as The fully clothed figure stabs the hands of the united Nostalgia Critic and Barack Obama and as the two scream in blood curdling agony the fully covered figure knocks the two of them out and starts to run to the door as the camera cuts to Everyone else)

Phelous (In his usual sarcastic tone): Go After him? (Everyone runs to the fully cloaked figure as he stops, turns around and disrobes his outer clothing to reveal himself to be James Faraci The Last Of The Americans! As “Drebin Hero!” plays in the background James Kicks Phelous knocking him out smashing the table in the process and then proceeding to punch and kick his way through the Channel Awesome lineup as Angry Joe tries his Martial Arts James grabs him by his po-pos and his jacket and throws him onto JewWario, Handsome Tom & 8-Bit Mickey, Spoony, Cinema Snob and LordKat. Linkara tosses James over to the stove where Linkara has him pinned up against the stove and James’ right hand searches for something.)

Linkara (Audio only): I don’t know who you are but you are a fool for taking me and my friends on. Because I AM… (James grabs a Double Boiler pot and clocks Linkara on the right side then his left side of his face then on the top of his head slamming his hat onto his head to the NBC tone)

Linkara: Unconscious! (Linkara falls like a tree as audio of Film Brain Gibbering like madman as the crack of a piece of wood smacking him and rendering Film Brain unconscious as James sees the unconscious Film Brain and no one else as The Nostalgia Chick dressed as Sarah Palin comes into the fracas)

Nostalgia Chick: Hey there what’s with all the Ra… (Nostalgia Chick screams as James grabs her and slams her head into the oven door repeatedly until the 0:44 mark when The Nostalgia Critic pulls the dagger out of his and Barack Obama’s hand and tries to attack only for James to hit a Stone Cold Stunner on the Nostalgia Critic and a fireman’s carry and toss to Barack Obama as President Baugh of Molossia walks in to see everyone broken and beaten except for James who sees President Baugh of Molossia and in a fit of adrenaline fueled insanity tosses President Baugh into the oven then starts to walk away passing a barely conscious Spoony)

Spoony: Who are you? Are you crazy? (Cut to James at the front door turning towards the Camera.)

TLOTA: I’m not crazy! I’m James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans! (Cut to everyone trying to get up only for Film Brain to take a half step before falling down then cut to James at the front door)

TLOTA: And for all of you from Thatguywiththeglasses.com, Quit overstepping your boundaries and losing scope and for everyone else Don’t Let Me Catch You in America!

Well folks, The Summer of Summer Spectaculars begins with this

TLOTA:
I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and it’s my EIGHTH ANNIVERSARY! (Cut to a moment of Fireworks and Ode To Joy playing as eight hands unite. Cut to James in his office as booming thuds are heard and James is shaken out of frame. Cut to Chad as he continues to try and break through the door as Black Flames engulf his eyes)

Chad Narducci (Demonic Sounding):
AND IT WILL BE YOUR LAST WHEN I LAY MY HANDS UPON YOU. (Cut to James as he composes himself.)

TLOTA:
And as you can tell, it’s been a bit chaotic, I’m on lockdown, AGAIN! This time in the studio and from what I gathered, everything points to an old nemesis, that nearly got the win had it not been for my friends at the time, now the friends I have and need are indisposed! But in the meanwhile, let’s see what DC has in store for me. (Cut to the opening credit of “Wonder Woman 1984”. Cut to James as he drops his head on the table with a very loud thud.)

Which will finish me off first? Chad or the movie? Find out here

So between my usual Summer plans, Let’s see what will happen this Summer on Manic-Expression.com