@jbfny428
A “Beauty”-ful Crossover co-writen by “The Rowdy Reviewer” Chris Lee Moore
September 3, 2020 in Blogs
(OPEN TO JAMES FARACI, THE LAST OF THE AMERICANS, FLIPPING THROUGH TV CHANNELS)
TLOTA: Well the good news is at least the Disney Channel doesn’t air that annoying Shia LaBeouf anymore. The bad news is, they air nothing but their god awful current tween garbage and my twin nieces are watching this and soon enough their little sister! You’d think they could put in some time to air some of their old stuff! You know, back when Walt was alive and everything they produced was good! I’d bet if they showed a classic now and then they’d really see the ratings take a huge jump up.(The Rowdy Reviewer pops in out of nowhere via Jeannie blink)
ROWDY: I’ll take that bet!
TLOTA: GHAA!
Un “Mask”ing a bad sequel
September 2, 2020 in Blogs
(Opens with James stepping out of his room doing the dance Justin Hammer did in Iron Man 2 to “Pick Up The Pieces” by Average White Band as an interdimentional portal opens up and something hits James on the head.)
TLOTA: OW! What hit me? (Picks up object that hit James on the head.) Hmmm What’s the…? “Son Of The Mask”? Why do I have this foreboding feeling of fear as I hold this? Better let ORAC check it out. ORAC scan this for any information I need before I watch this. (ORAC Hums and beeps)
ORAC: According to information mainstream reviewers have negatively reviewed this. Recent Online reviews have backed this claim up.
TLOTA: Who of my internet brethren reviewed this?
ORAC: Mike J, The Nostalgia Critic and The Blockbuster Buster. I suggest precautions of getting bottles of Liquid I.Q. on stand by.
TLOTA: A Good idea ORAC. This one might hurt. (James closes door then a loud bloodcurdling scream is heard!)
This cannot be good! What horrors will James see? Find out here
Does “Rocky” Represent The American Dream?
September 1, 2020 in Blogs, The Last of the Americans
I’m James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans and the views I’m about to express are that of my own and some of yours. With the Fourth Of July is around the corner, several thoughts crossed my mind. One, Is TV Land going to do a weekend marathon of M*A*S*H? Two, would our founding fathers like what has happened to their homeland they founded? Three Which store carries the biggest steak that I can grill at the most affordable price or the most amount of Hamburger or ground beef, one of the three, as long as I get to put beef to the grill I’m happy. And finally Does the Rocky film franchise accurately represent the American Dream?
Does Sylvester Stallone’s work accurately represent The American Dream? Find Out Here
An “Even” Stinker
August 31, 2020 in Blogs
(Black background as in demonic text says 1986 as it moves to Los Angeles in a house where the Devil, as portrayed by Malcolm Ray, readies himself to possess Shia LaBeouf’s Father)
Mr. LaBeouf: Oh what a night, I just want to rest right now, that okay honey.
Mrs. LaBeouf: Sure thing
Satan: That’s my cue! (Scene goes black as sexual moans & groans occur than we hear a baby cry then black background with demonic text reading 2002 as we find James Faraci sitting back in his room and he’s exhausted as he just finished another school day and it shows)
TLOTA(Sighs a deep cleansing breath): What a day, I just finished another day in High School, I’m about to become an uncle for the first time with twins, I need to unwind, Hmm, “Even Stevens”. (Scene plays with Christy Romano, Tom Virtue and Donna Pescow trying to have a quiet and honest discussion when a Monkey’s screeching ruins it with them shouting “LOUIS!” ) Good god that guy playing Louis is annoying as all fuck who is he? (James goes down to main computer and discovers his name and mispronounces it) Hmm, Here’s hoping he’ll never have a career after this shit!
(Black Background with the demonic text of One Year Later as we see James taking care of his twin nieces as he discovers Shia LaBeouf is going to be in several movies that year)
TLOTA: Hey there maddy, mallie you see him, he’s stinky and guess what this year will be the only year he’ll be in because soon he’ll be working at a McDonald’s yes he will, yes he will and your Uncle Jimmy is gonna be a real big star. Yes he will and you guys are going to have an Aunt Christy.
(Black background with Demonic text with the year 2006 and James is still at home and discovers that Shia LaBeouf is going to be in both Transformers & Indiana Jones & The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull)
TLOTA: What’s Hollywood’s desire to take Shia LaBeouf who is for all intent and purpose a piece of shit and make him the next big thing? He isn’t! This is bullshit! (Sighs) Well at least Christy Romano still likes me.
(Black background show demonic text with the year 2008 and James Faraci is a wreck)
TLOTA: Christy hates me, Shia LaBeouf is a big star and we just elected the wrong person into the Presidency, What else can go wrong? (James goes on line to discover Shia LaBeouf is going to be in two more sequels to Transformers) FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! I feel so alone, like I’m, I’m…
