James Faraci The Last Of The Americans

TLOTA:
I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and the views that I’m about to express are that of my own and some of yours. We’re all aware of the amazing animated Batman classic that is “Batman: Mask Of The Phantasm” (Cut to opening credits of “Batman: Mask Of The Phantasm” before cutting to clips of “Batman: Mask Of The Phantasm” as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
And it is well deserved of that recognition. While I do agree with SFDebris that the Small Stakes is what makes this movie, I wholly disagree with him on this not being epic. It’s Epic in scope, it’s epic in the storytelling, it’s an epic in all the right places. There is a reason I watch it every February 14th. It’s a reminder that above all else that for the Dark Knight like the rest of us finding and holding onto the one love we have will be as uphill a battle as trying to stop any monster who wants to destroy Gotham. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
However by the mid 1990’s after a few years on Fox Kids, Warner Brothers not only had their own network but decided to join in the Weekday/Saturday Morning Kids Programming block known as “Kids WB” and they wanted Batman on their Programming Block and to help Warner Brothers decided to make a straight to video animated movie which would be somewhat of a bridge from the time on Fox Kids to “Kids WB”. That movie was “Batman/Mr. Freeze: SubZero” (Show opening credit of “Subzero” before cutting to Clips of “Batman/Mr. Freeze: Subzero” as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
And for many Batman fans this movie should be considered worthy of the same praise “Phantasm” but like “Mystery Of The Batwoman” and some others in this same Batman universe. But why is that? To me it’s just as good “Mask Of The Phantasm” but people don’t talk about this one. Why is that? What could’ve kept this one from succeeding?(Show “Batman & Robin” poster with the losing horns from “The Price Is Right” playing)

How did Batman & Robin cause “Subzero” to freeze into obscurity? Find out the chilling answers here

(Cut to the outside of the Upstate New York Avengers Facility as a whistling sound us heard and The Avengers say in unity “YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!” as the building goes Kaboom and The Avengers A Logo goes flying before cutting to James as he hears a whistling sound)

TLOTA:
OH NO YOU DON’T! OH NO YOU DON’T! (James runs off and comes back carrying a sledgehammer and continue to shout, “OH NO YOU DON’T!” repeatedly as he demolishes his desk then toss the sledgehammer) HA! HA! You’d have to get up early in the morning to best James Fara… (The Avengers “A” Logo lands in front of James with a loud KA-THUD!) GOD DAMN IT!

How did I come here? Did I spoil Endgame? Find out here

TLOTA:
I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and the views that I’m about to express are that of my own and some of yours. (Cut to clips of the movie “Clerks” as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
I FRIGGIN’ love “Clerks”, It tells the story of a day in the life of two clerks Dante Hicks played by Brian O’Halloran and Randal Graves played by Jeff Anderson who work at The Quick Stop & RST Video two stores that share the same lot and the story centers on a day in their lives when they work together and the incidents that happen that affect their lives. It made the careers of Kevin Smith, Jason Mewes and opened up an entire universe of movies that which rivals the MCU and opened my mind to the world of independent movies. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:

And to help expand on the universe there was a series that was made to show more of the misadventures of Dante and Randal and I just so happen to have it! So let’s watch and check out the series based on the movie “Clerks”! (Cut to opening after title card of the failed pilot known as “Clerks” as it shows characters and Jim Breuer talking before cutting to James) What’s going on here? (Cut to clips of the failed pilot of “Clerks” before cutting to James physically) Are you serious?! THIS ISN’T CLERKS!

Brace yourselves as we go to Jersey for one of the worst entities to bear the name “Clerks” right here

TLOTA:
Wait a second, A Happily engaged couple in San Francisco?! Excuse me for a moment! (James walks out with a mischievous grin on his face as he heads to the back room before being intercepted by Paulo & Brenda Fonseca)

Brenda Fonseca:
Wait a minute, Gringo. Where are you off to?

TLOTA:
To get “The Book”!

Paulo Fonseca:
The Book?!

TLOTA:
OH YES! THE BOOK!

Paulo Fonseca:
Madre Di Dios! He’s going for it! CODE RED EVERYONE! CODE RED!

Which book made my team go to code red? Find out here

TLOTA:
I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and the views that I’m about to express are that of my own and some of yours. Earlier this year, we lost a great with the passing of Bob Einstein otherwise known by his signature characters Martin Funkhouser on “Curb Your Enthusiasm” or the iconic “Super” Dave Osborne.

(Cut to clips of Super Dave Osborne’s failed stunts as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):

While he started out as a parody of Evel Knievel. Super Dave and his technical coordinator Fuji Hakayito played by Art Irizawa came out with crazy stunts left and right which would’ve left real daredevils into coffins if they went astray. He first debuted on the John Byner Comedy Hour and would appear on shows left and right including a series on Showtime and a movie (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
And my first exposure to Super Dave was of all things a cartoon.

For my best stunt check out this review

(Scene begins with an overhead shot of the Catskills and the “Xena” theme song plays in the foreground before cutting to a clip of the n.W.o 2002 WWE run as an announcer played by DukeCT says “In a time of returning ancient tribes.”, Brock Lesnar brutalizing everyone as an announcer played by DukeCT says “Monsters” and Triple H holding both the World Heavyweight and WWE Championship as an announcer played by DukeCT says “And men who would be kings!” and the WWE brand splitting for the first time as an announcer played by DukeCT says “A company divided cries out for a hero” as more matches play scenes of two different men getting prepared one with a pair of Jean Shorts the other a pair of contractor jeans. The First man preparing a colored shirt, the other putting on an American Flag shirt before cutting to the first man entering a ring who just so happens to be John Cena before cutting to an image of John Cena as he holds a championship and the words “Cena: Warrior Actor” an announcer played by DukeCT says, “He was Cena!” before cutting to a clip of John Cena running at full steam as an announcer played by DukeCT says “A mighty warrior forged in the challenge of competition!” before seeing John hit an AA on Edge and The Big Show before cutting to James Faraci as it cuts to James Faraci getting to his seat as the credit reads “Starring James Faraci The Last Of The Americans” before cutting to a clip of John Cena hits Edge with an AA at Unforgiven as an announcer played by DukeCT says “The intensity” before cutting to an image of Paulo & Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca Yaun & Nick Yaun, John & Mike Santos, Ed Champion & Andrew Beach, Eric Kurtzke, Olivia Horvath and Renee Miller as they see their names before cutting to James on the horseshoe couch as he plays a movie before cutting to John Cena’s Acting Repertoire as an announcer played by DukeCT says “The Actor” as more clips of John Cena’s Acting Repertoire before cutting to John Cena as he takes a butt bong of beer before cutting to James gets ready for another review as an announcer played by DukeCT says “His Reviews will change the internet forever!” before cutting to a blurred black and white image of John Cena holding the WWE Championship and the words “The Last Of The Americans” shimmer in before fading to James and Renee on the horseshoe couch)

TLOTA:
Okay Renee, whatever movie you want me to review that has Cena in it, I will do my best. But you must let me be as funny and as honest in this as I was in my last two Cena reviews.

Renee Miller:
Okay James and if I don’t like it, it’ll be your last review!

John Cena tags up with Scooby Doo in an animated movie. Will the mystery end well? Find out here

TLOTA:
I’m James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans and the views I’m about to express are that of my own & some of yours and Welcome to another edition of Reality Checkout! (Cut to Video Purchasing Store checkout counter in which John Santos is a brainless idiot purchasing Reality TV series while James is the clerk who looks at the guy as if he were an idiot and slowly gets angry and does him a favor by buying him a copy of all the seasons of the restarted “Doctor Who” series as he takes the Reality TV series and places them in Port-a-Potty along with a lit stick of Dynamite and then James runs like hell as an image of Kim Kardashian is seen covered in fecal matter and the only clean part is the words “Reality Checkout” while the theme from “Welcome Freshmen” plays in the background before cutting back to James in his office.)

TLOTA:
In 2017, I covered one singular Wrestling Reality TV star Eva Marie, who I heard has gone on to move past her reality tv star status to become a sunglasses/fashion designer and to that I say good for her to find her niche outside of her reality tv fame. But at the time she was, in my opinion, only famous for being a “Wrestler” in title only on Reality TV, that’s only because I never saw her as a wrestler, I saw her as a reality tv star and thankfully she’s not… (Cut to a still of Eva Marie in “Celebrity Big Brother 2” as James shouts “SON OF A BITCH!” before cutting to James Physically). WHY…ARE… YOU… DOING THIS? I THOUGHT YOU WERE SMARTER THAN TO DO THIS?! THEN YOU PROVE ME RIGHT BY BEING IN THIS? YOU… YOU… REALITY TV STAR! (James sighs) But I guess it didn’t hurt that my memories reminded me specifically that Reality TV and WWE have been together for quite a while!

Wrestling tag teams with Reality TV to try and take me on! Who will win? Find out here

Julia Alexa Miller:
Yeah James, you’re right it’s not getting better for you and I think I saw Fleur, Ric and Audi in the protest. Excuse me for a moment… (Julia Alexa Miller puts James on hold before Julia Alexa Miller disappears before hearing a voice shouting from the TV shakes the apartment and the crowd is knocked out before Julia Alexa Miller returns) Sorry about… Oh, you saw. Well of course you can do the review here, Yep, your landing spot is ready, so how long before you get here? (The sound of James’ time and space device is heard as Julia Alexa Miller turns around to get to the landing spot as James’ Time and Space Device exactly on the spot)
TLOTA:
Will right now work? (Julia Alexa Miller kisses James on the mouth)
Julia Alexa Miller:
Absolutely. (Cut to James and Julia Alexa Miller on a couch as the two relax)
TLOTA:
Thanks. I would’ve gone to my family, but they’d give me Tsouris and you deserve a medal for lasting a day with them.
Julia Alexa Miller:
James, your family is not that bad. (James gives Julia the “seriously” look) James, your parents and your siblings were joking on paying me off to end the relationship.
TLOTA:
You’re right besides my nieces were the nicest. I guess it doesn’t hurt that the twins are a few years older than you and they like you and little Vivian just blows my mind with everything that comes out of her mouth and usually their judgement I know are the best and I trust them the most. Probably a lot more than how their parents are doing it and how parents in teen comedies now a days.

Can John Cena be a good dad in a Teen Sex Comedy movie? Find out here

TLOTA:
I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and the views that I’m about to express are that of my own and some of yours and welcome to another edition of “In Defense Of…”(Show pics of maligned pieces of pop culture while the fanfare from the Olympics play and James comes up after Vanilla Ice slides back and his right hand thumbs up and the words “In Defense Of…” before cutting to James physically.)

TLOTA:
Well, it’s Super Bowl Season and as usual for New York Jets Fans most are ending their lives in a myriad of different ways. But apparently there is hope in 2020 as a new Football league is coming in and it is run by… (Cut to an image of Vince McMahon before cutting to James looking scared). Well hopefully he won’t make the same mistakes he did the first time, I mean it’s not like he’s going to try and revive (Cut to the XFL 2020 logo and James shouting “GODDAMN IT VINCE!” before cutting to James physically) Okay, maybe it won’t be the same as it was in 2001, maybe he learned more in the time in between then and now. Lord willing and the crick don’t rise! But maybe there is a small amount of good that came from the 2001 attempt to change the game or perhaps Vince knew what he was doing the first time around. (Cut to XFL 2001 footage as James does a voiceover)

Do I dare defend the XFL? Find out here

(Scene begins with an overhead shot of the Catskills and the “Xena” theme song plays in the foreground before cutting to a clip of the n.W.o 2002 WWE run as an announcer played by DukeCT says “In a time of returning ancient tribes.”, Brock Lesnar brutalizing everyone as an announcer played by DukeCT says “Monsters” and Triple H holding both the World Heavyweight and WWE Championship as an announcer played by DukeCT says “And men who would be kings!” and the WWE brand splitting for the first time as an announcer played by DukeCT says “A company divided cries out for a hero” as more matches play scenes of two different men getting prepared one with a pair of Jean Shorts the other a pair of contractor jeans. The First man preparing a colored shirt, the other putting on an American Flag shirt before cutting to the first man entering a ring who just so happens to be John Cena before cutting to an image of John Cena as he holds a championship and the words “Cena: Warrior Actor” an announcer played by DukeCT says, “He was Cena!” before cutting to a clip of John Cena running at full steam as an announcer played by DukeCT says “A mighty warrior forged in the challenge of competition!” before seeing John hit an AA on Edge and The Big Show before cutting to James Faraci as it cuts to James Faraci getting to his seat as the credit reads “Starring James Faraci The Last Of The Americans” before cutting to a clip of John Cena hits Edge with an AA at Unforgiven as an announcer played by DukeCT says “The intensity” before cutting to an image of Paulo & Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca Yaun & Nick Yaun, John & Mike Santos, Ed Champion & Andrew Beach, Eric Kurtzke, Olivia Horvath and Renee Miller as they see their names before cutting to James on the horseshoe couch as he plays a movie before cutting to John Cena’s Acting Repertoire as an announcer played by DukeCT says “The Actor” as more clips of John Cena’s Acting Repertoire before cutting to John Cena as he takes a butt bong of beer before cutting to James gets ready for another review as an announcer played by DukeCT says “His Reviews will change the internet forever!” before cutting to a blurred black and white image of John Cena holding the WWE Championship and the words “The Last Of The Americans” shimmer in before fading to James at his desk)
TLOTA:
I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and the views that I’m about to express are that of my own and some of yours. John Felix Anthony Cena Jr, otherwise known on the internet as… (Cut to the JOHN CENA sign before hearing his “You Can’t See Me” theme as it blares before cutting to clips of John Cena’s achievements as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Yes! I know he’s very well respected in the world of Professional Wrestling especially when it comes to his time in the WWE. He’s won multiple titles, earned the respect of so many legends and newcomers and has solidly cemented his reputation. But even though he has some history of burying a lot of talent but when you look at his IMDB he’s been doing some acting as of late and has gotten a little cred in the acting world you have to wonder if he’s getting buried in schlock. Do I think he’ll earn any award for acting? Not really but he may just have enough of a career not to be forgotten. (Cut to Paulo and Brenda Fonseca at James’ door)
Paulo Fonseca:
James, you’ve got a problem!
Brenda Fonseca:
It’s Renee and John (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
If they’re not feeling well, I can get someone to help. (Cut to James, Mike Santos, Ed Champion, Andrew Beach, Brenda and Paulo Fonseca, Rebecca and Nick Yaun and Olivia Horvath)
TLOTA:
You’ve got to be kidding me!

What fresh hell awaits me while I deal with John Cena’s first movie outing? Find out here

TLOTA:
I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and the views that I’m about to express are that of my own and some of yours. You know when 2017 ended, I thought it was the craziest year of my life. 2018 stepped in said “Hold My Beer!” and went into even crazier territory! (Cut to clips of certain clips from reviews from “The Last Of The Americans” as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
I’m talking about an ex-crush’s husband kidnapping me with the intent to kill me and two of my friends. Having to fly a plane and land it safely while reviewing the horrible Woody Woodpecker live action movie. A brawl with execs who rather prefer the company of charts, test audiences and other things that are partly ruining Hollywood and everyone getting their backsides handed to them. A woman I have a crush on became imbued with the powers and memories of an ex-girlfriend that sent a secondary member of my team on a journey that had him cause a riot thinking that Nuclear Weapons were being launched. I had to deal with a pissed off Chai who got me in trouble with Sea Cops. and in between all of every single crazy thing that happened I made blogger of the month at Manic Expression back in March of this year. That’s like making it to being Employee Of The Month and I am so humbled that I earned this honor. Then there are moments that I will NOT mention however I am lucky to have gotten to this point. So while I’m talking about moments, for the second time ever in doing this I’ve got Honorable mentions.

Connect The Plots: “Superboy” & “Lois and Clark”) This was something I noticed while checking out Superman Minutia and I noticed this connection between these two classic shows.

“The Different Cuts of Blade Trinity with The Maven Of The Eventide”) Working with Eliza Hanson and her family was a pretty good time for all of us even though the movie in question was horrendous to sit through.

Reality Checkout: Jersey Shore) Just the fact the show and the participants has a following to this day is enough to send most Italians and Italian Americans into a fury that dwarfs an eruption from Montecristo!

“Is there a real Superman Curse”) Having heard tales of what happened to the actors who put on the Superman Suit was hard to deal with but I had to talk about it for the sake of the future of any actor who played Superman and any who will from this moment on.

“In Defense Of Smallville”) Sitting through a ten year series that had it’s fair share of bad and good moments there was something that needed to be liked and not forgotten.

What I want to see if there is a “Mako Mermaids” movie/ Top 10 “H2O: Just Add Water” & “Mako Mermaids” episodes) These two I lumped together because they’re for all intents and purposes a follow-up to the summer retrospective series. Getting these out of me was a necessity. Plus I loved the ending which allowed me the chance to step out of the shell and allow me to be something I rarely allow myself to be human and show my feelings to another person. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
And since I allowed myself to be human, well now I’m allowing myself to step out of character. (James pulls out his morpher and de-morphs back to James Faraci)

James Faraci:
And now with five of your favorites and five of mine it’s time for The Top Ten The Last Of The Americans Moments of 2018.

The best moments from The Last Of The Americans in 2018, check them out here

(A Hand pulling a card designed by Stevie Swigart with the statistics of James Faraci The Last Of The Americans while putting it into the Robo Knight Robo Morpher and punching in the code 428 then cut to James jumping down a cliff from the 0:00-0:03 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run. 0:04 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators shows James Faraci landing in Santa’s sleigh and fully morphing into James Faraci The Last Of The Americans basic mode with his Long sleeve Tee-Shirt with the American flag design on it, Blue cargo Jeans and Black Work boots until 0:07 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run as scene cuts to James and Santa riding with the 12th Doctor and Clara at the 0:13 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run. 0:14-0:17 show Rebecca Yaun and Nick Yaun as the two run after the Grinch before cutting to John and Mike Santos baking cookies before cutting to the 0:17-0:19 mark as it shows Paulo & Brenda Fonseca popping in A Muppets Christmas Special on a player before cutting to the 0:20-0:28 mark as we see Eric Kurtzke, Ed Champion, Andrew Beach and Olivia Horvath decorating as it cuts to the doors outside of James’ space and time machine as the 0:28 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators shows when James stands on top of his Time and Space device and tosses a candy cane then cuts over to multiple clips from the past five years of “The Last Of The Americans” Christmas reviews/top 12s as the Candy Cane flips end over end as the 0:36 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run plays when James grabs it while on top of a slab while doing a heroic pose with Paulo & Brenda Fonseca, John & Mike Santos, Eric Kurtzke, Olivia Horvath on his right and Rebecca & Nick Yaun, Renee Miller, Andrew Beach & Ed Champion on his left doing their own heroic poses dressed in Christmas Garb on a white background the 0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera pulls back to see James and everyone else on top of a slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it before all while snow and jingling bells are heard and seen in the foreground before cutting to the depths of space as a ship that dwarfs Spaceball one flies in pursuit of James’ Time and Space device as it cuts to the cockpit of James’ Time and Space Device as James and Julia Alexa Miller try to outrun the ship.)

Julia Alexa Miller:
Punch it James!

TLOTA:
I’m trying my best Alex. (Snaps fingers) Wait a second, I got an idea. ORAC! Auto pilot!

ORAC (Audio only):
Taking over controls now!

TLOTA:
Alex, come with me! (Cut to the depths of space as a ship that dwarfs Spaceball one flies before cutting to a cockpit filled with alien lifeforms played by Team TLOTA and a commanding officer played by Steve Kidd)

Commanding Officer:
Prepare Tractor Beam on the count of three! ONE! TWO! WAIT, MAGNIFY! (Cut to the view screen as it shows James and Julia Alexa Miller as they stand on the top of James’ time and space device before cutting to James and Julia Alexa Miller at the top of the Time and Space device.)

TLOTA:

You ready Alex?

Julia Alexa Miller:

On three! ONE! TWO! THREE!

TLOTA & Julia Alexa Miller (in unison):

CHRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISTMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS! (Cut to the ship that dwarfs Spaceball one starts to disintegrate from the blast the two shout “Christmas” before cutting to James in his office)

TLOTA:

And that incident occured an hour before the party happened. The party itself was just as screwy! Obscurus Lupa and Phelous played dueling Eggnog recipes, Linkara had Steve’s Roast Turkey Surprise and next thing I saw was Linkara in his undies shouting something cuckoo, Rowdy and Maria Feist got into the Martinelli’s next thing I see is the two of them in the bathroom and next thing I’m dealing with is Deja Vu from the first big Internet Christmas Shindig I did after I got the studio, but the biggest one came from…(Knock on the Door) It’s open. (Cut to Keith Apicary at the door)

Keith Apicary:

Hey James, you got anymore of that Pecan Pie, I was hoping to take some home with me. (Cut to James)

TLOTA:

It’s in the fridge!

Keith Apicary (Audio only):
Okay!
(A Hand pulling a card designed by Stevie Swigart with the statistics of James Faraci The Last Of The Americans while putting it into the Robo Knight Robo Morpher and punching in the code 428 then cut to James jumping down a cliff from the 0:00-0:03 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run. 0:04 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators shows James Faraci landing in Santa’s sleigh and fully morphing into James Faraci The Last Of The Americans basic mode with his Long sleeve Tee-Shirt with the American flag design on it, Blue cargo Jeans and Black Work boots until 0:07 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run as scene cuts to James and Santa riding with the 12th Doctor and Clara at the 0:13 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run. 0:14-0:17 show Rebecca Yaun and Nick Yaun as the two run after the Grinch before cutting to John and Mike Santos baking cookies before cutting to the 0:17-0:19 mark as it shows Paulo & Brenda Fonseca popping in A Muppets Christmas Special on a player before cutting to the 0:20-0:28 mark as we see Eric Kurtzke, Ed Champion, Andrew Beach and Olivia Horvath decorating as it cuts to the doors outside of James’ space and time machine as the 0:28 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators shows when James stands on top of his Time and Space device and tosses a candy cane then cuts over to multiple clips from the past five years of “The Last Of The Americans” Christmas reviews/top 12s as the Candy Cane flips end over end as the 0:36 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run plays when James grabs it while on top of a slab while doing a heroic pose with Paulo & Brenda Fonseca, John & Mike Santos, Eric Kurtzke, Olivia Horvath on his right and Rebecca & Nick Yaun, Renee Miller, Andrew Beach & Ed Champion on his left doing their own heroic poses dressed in Christmas Garb on a white background the 0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera pulls back to see James and everyone else on top of a slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it before all while snow and jingling bells are heard and seen in the foreground before cutting to the depths of space as a ship that dwarfs Spaceball one flies in pursuit of James’ Time and Space device as it cuts to the cockpit of James’ Time and Space Device as James and Julia Alexa Miller try to outrun the ship.)

Julia Alexa Miller:
Punch it James!

TLOTA:
I’m trying my best Alex. (Snaps fingers) Wait a second, I got an idea. ORAC! Auto pilot!

ORAC (Audio only):
Taking over controls now!

TLOTA:
Alex, come with me! (Cut to the depths of space as a ship that dwarfs Spaceball one flies before cutting to a cockpit filled with alien lifeforms played by Team TLOTA and a commanding officer played by Steve Kidd)

Commanding Officer:
Prepare Tractor Beam on the count of three! ONE! TWO! WAIT, MAGNIFY! (Cut to the view screen as it shows James and Julia Alexa Miller as they stand on the top of James’ time and space device before cutting to James and Julia Alexa Miller at the top of the Time and Space device.)

TLOTA:

You ready Alex?

Julia Alexa Miller:

On three! ONE! TWO! THREE!

TLOTA & Julia Alexa Miller (in unison):
CHRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISTMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS! (Cut to the ship that dwarfs Spaceball one starts to disintegrate from the blast the two shout “Christmas” before cutting to James in his office)

TLOTA:
And that incident occured an hour before the party happened. The party itself was just as screwy! Obscurus Lupa and Phelous played dueling Eggnog recipes, Linkara had Steve’s Roast Turkey Surprise and next thing I saw was Linkara in his undies shouting something cuckoo, Rowdy and Maria Feist got into the Martinelli’s next thing I see is the two of them in the bathroom and next thing I’m dealing with is Deja Vu from the first big Internet Christmas Shindig I did after I got the studio, but the biggest one came from…(Knock on the Door) It’s open. (Cut to Keith Apicary at the door)

Keith Apicary:
Hey James, you got anymore of that Pecan Pie, I was hoping to take some home with me. (Cut to James)

TLOTA:
It’s in the fridge!

Keith Apicary (Audio only):
Okay!

TLOTA:
Okay Keith Apicary being here was not the biggest surprise, it was the fact that I had been asked by the people in charge of Manic Expression to do something I had planned on doing anyway. (Cut to clips of different Christmas Specials as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
Because for all the love we have for the holidays, it can drive even the toughest nut to crack! But I love even the craziest moments and believe it or not the craziness can be awesome it it’s own right as can those Crazy Christmas Specials that we get. So to celebrate the crazy we’re counting down the top 12 most bonkers, most insane, the 12 craziest Christmas Specials that are Nuttier than EVERY SINGLE FRUITCAKE ON THE PLANET! (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
Why 12? Because I’m crazy not completely insane! Also in this moment of clarity allow The 12th Doctor to say something even I don’t have to say. (Cut to a clip of The 12th Doctor in “Twice Upon A Time” as he says “Spoilers” before cut to James)These are the Top 12 Craziest Christmas Specials!

Which 12 Christmas Specials are Cuckoo for cocoa puffs? Find out here