James Faraci The Last Of The Americans

TLOTA:
I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and the views that I’m about to express are that of my own and some of yours and welcome to another edition of “In Defense Of…”(Show pics of maligned pieces of pop culture while the fanfare from the Olympics play and James comes up after Vanilla Ice slides back and his right hand thumbs up and the words “In Defense Of…” before cutting to James physically.)

TLOTA:
This year marks the 80th anniversary of Superman and I feel for everything associated with anything involving him one series seems to still get some heat and this series ended nearly a decade ago!

Is “Smallville” better than we give it credit for? Find out here

(A Hand pulling a card designed by Stevie Swigart with the statistics of James Faraci The Last Of The Americans while putting it into the Robo Knight Robo Morpher and punching in the code 428 then cut to James jumping down a cliff from the 0:00-0:03 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run. 0:04 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators shows James Faraci landing and fully morphing into James Faraci The Last Of The Americans basic mode with his Long sleeve Tee-Shirt with the American flag design on it, Blue cargo Jeans and Black Work boots until 0:07 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run as scene cuts to James fighting alongside the 2017 Power Rangers Movie Power Rangers at the 0:13 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run. 0:14-0:17 show Rebecca Yaun as Wonder Woman and Nick Yaun as Steve Trevor charging the screen before cutting to John and Mike Santos peeling out in The DeLorean From “Back To The Future” before cutting to the 0:17-0:19 mark as it shows Paulo & Brenda Fonseca taking a joyride in KITT from “Knight Rider” in Super Pursuit Mode before cutting to the 0:20-0:28 mark as we see Eric Kurtzke, Ed Champion and Andrew Beach flying the USS Enterprise from “Star Trek” (2009) and Olivia Horvath flying The Orville as it cuts to the 0:28 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators shows when James stands on top of his Time and Space device and tosses his sonic screwdriver then cuts over to multiple clips from the past five years of “The Last Of The Americans” reviews as the Sonic Screwdriver flips end over end as the 0:36 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run plays when James grabs it while on top of a slab while doing a heroic pose with Paulo & Brenda Fonseca, John & Mike Santos, Eric Kurtzke, Olivia Horvath on his right and Rebecca & Nick Yaun, Renee Miller, Andrew Beach & Ed Champion on his left doing their own heroic poses on a black background the 0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera pulls back to see James and everyone else on top of a slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it before cutting to James and Julia Alexa Miller looking like disheveled as they walk down the backside of the Neversink Reservoir as James carries a very beaten and bruised Deadpool wisecracking and breaking the fourth wall while being hauled in a Grocery Cart and a piano playing “Free Bird” is in the foreground.)

TLOTA (Narrating):
You might be wondering why we look like we went the distance and LOST! You’re probably wondering why Deadpool is the way he is in the Grocery Cart.

Deadpool (Played by Cambell Dodson):
We got our asses WHOOPED like a bunch of school kids and Yes James is pissing himself on the road!
TLOTA (Narrating):
Deadpool shut up!
Deadpool:
Okay
TLOTA (Narrating):
I guess it started back when Myspace was a social site and I’d just blog willy nilly about anything I had on my mind. Then I ended one blog calling myself The Last Of The Americans and then came Kickassia, the first movie I’d ever review! Eventually deciding to turn myself into an Internet Reviewer after being inspired by those on a site that is now a gigantic toilet bowl called Channel Awesome (James spits in the narration as he does in the real time)! Last year I got picked up by Manic-Expression.com to all of whom I am still grateful! Then a few hours ago I celebrated my fifth anniversary by having to review a movie I’d never thought would get to see the light of day. Let’s go back a few hours! (Cut to James in his office as he stands and does the diamond cutter sign)
TLOTA:
I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and the views I’m about to express are that of my own and have been some of yours for the past FIVE YEARS RUNNING! BANG! (Cut to a moment of Fireworks and Ode To Joy playing as an image of DDP as his face is in the background and does the sign of the Diamond Cutter sign before cutting to James physically doing the same position) BANG! WHOO! Now what after all that I’ve seen and what I’ve been through, what could possibly top my “Avengers: Infinity War” review? How can I surprise everyone? By going from one big Comic Book Movie Clusterbank to an even BIGGER Comic Book Movie Clusterbank!

Witness my fifth anniversary as I take on DC’s non answer to Marvel’s “The Avengers” here

TLOTA:
I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and the views that I’m about to express are that of my own and possibly 99.Ad infinitum percent of every Italian on this PLANET and a lot of yours
and Welcome to another edition of Reality Checkout! (Cut to Video Purchasing Store checkout counter in which John Santos is a brainless idiot purchasing Reality TV series while James is the clerk who looks at the guy as if he were an idiot and slowly gets angry and does him a favor by buying him a copy of all the seasons of the restarted “Doctor Who” series as he takes the Reality TV series and places them in Port-a-Potty along with a lit stick of Dynamite and then James runs like hell as an image of Kim Kardashian is seen covered in fecal matter and the only clean part is the words “Reality Checkout” while the theme from “Welcome Freshmen” plays in the background before cutting back to James physically.)

TLOTA:
Believe it or not I had this rolling around in my head ever since James Gandolfini had passed away. Originally I was going to ask whether or not the HBO drama “The Sopranos” were the worst thing to happen to New Jersey or Italians. Then I realized several things. One) “The Sopranos” whist set in New Jersey was as fictional as all get out, Two) I would be disrespecting Mr. Gandolfini’s legacy by talking bad about his series and comparing it to what I’m about to talk about after I make my next point which leads to my final point, Three) This series is a bigger insult to Italians and New Jersey than “The Sopranos” EVER could be!

Get ready for this Italian to order these Stronzos to go! Here

TLOTA:
I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and the views that I’m about to express are that of my own and some of yours. This is a moment I never thought I’d never have to do. Not break the rules, I’ve done that a few times the past five years, but this is the moment in which I go after a Marvel Studios movie! (Cut to still of “Avengers: Infinity War” credit from the Trailer before cutting to recreated clips of the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
“Avengers: Infinity War” is undoubtedly the most anticipated Marvel movie since the first “Avengers” movie six years ago. This is what every movie has been setting up even if it didn’t look like it. But will this be a case of so much hype making a movie into something too much even for its own good?

Brace yourselves the war for infinity is on!

TLOTA:
I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and the views that I’m about to express are that of my own and some of yours. Originally, I had planned a “Reality Checkout” about “Jersey Shore” but that is gonna have to wait until May. Right now I need to express my thoughts on the recent events that has shaken the Internet Reviewer Universe to the core. (Cut to current Channel Awesome Logo intro before cutting to clips of The Nostalgia Critic as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
As of recent, Channel Awesome has begun to crash and BURN! They had a Tenth anniversary special planned that got cancelled. All of their production contributors have ran off and the site has seen less and less people come on to their site and their YouTube Channel has seen subscribers leave. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
And to be honest, they’ve got no one to blame but themselves. Let me give you guys some backstory. A while back some of the former Channel Awesome Contributors and producers and former administrator Holly Brown decided to come together in a Twitter conversation about how Channel Awesome is in fact the worst place to contribute to. I’m talking stories about harassment, abuse, jokes that were considered in such bad taste Adam Sandler would’ve booed at them and fraudulent uses of their funds from crowdfunding. If you want to know more here is a link to a near eighty page document explaining everything: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1WZFkR__B3Mk9EYQglvislMUx9HWvWhOaBP820UBa4dA/preview

And how is Channel Awesome handling this? Are they being responsible by apologizing, making amends to their former contributors and producers? Has there been any shaking up of the higher-ups so that someone responsible to force them to do what is right?

Watch the fall of the site that now a bigger joke than ever, here.

(A Hand pulling a card designed by Stevie Swigart with the statistics of James Faraci The Last Of The Americans while putting it into the Robo Knight Robo Morpher and punching in the code 428 then cut to James jumping down a cliff from the 0:00-0:03 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run. 0:04 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators shows James Faraci landing and fully morphing into James Faraci The Last Of The Americans basic mode with his Long sleeve Tee-Shirt with the American flag design on it, Blue cargo Jeans and Black Work boots until 0:07 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run as scene cuts to James fighting alongside the 2017 Power Rangers Movie Power Rangers at the 0:13 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run. 0:14-0:17 show Rebecca Yaun as Wonder Woman and Nick Yaun as Steve Trevor charging the screen before cutting to John and Mike Santos peeling out in The DeLorean From “Back To The Future” before cutting to the 0:17-0:19 mark as it shows Paulo & Brenda Fonseca taking a joyride in KITT from “Knight Rider” in Super Pursuit Mode before cutting to the 0:20-0:28 mark as we see Eric Kurtzke, Ed Champion and Andrew Beach flying the USS Enterprise from “Star Trek” (2009) and Olivia Horvath flying The Orville as it cuts to the 0:28 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators shows when James stands on top of his Time and Space device and tosses his sonic screwdriver then cuts over to multiple clips from the past five years of “The Last Of The Americans” reviews as the Sonic Screwdriver flips end over end as the 0:36 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run plays when James grabs it while on top of a slab while doing a heroic pose with Paulo & Brenda Fonseca, John & Mike Santos, Eric Kurtzke, Olivia Horvath on his right and Rebecca & Nick Yaun, Renee Miller, Andrew Beach & Ed Champion on his left doing their own heroic poses on a black background the 0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera pulls back to see James and everyone else on top of a slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it before cutting to James getting ready to enter the John Wayne Memorial Airport while the opening music from “Airplane” by Elmer Bernstein plays in the background before the music cuts abruptly to see James find Ted & Elaine from “Airplane” being romantic.)
TLOTA:
Ted? Elaine? (Cut to Ted and Elaine)
Ted & Elaine (In Unison):
Hey James! (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
What are you guys doing? (Cut to Ted and Elaine)
Ted:
Well, it’s not only the anniversary of the flight that reunited us for good, it’s our wedding anniversary. 35 years and still going strong.
Elaine:
And every year we take a flight to someplace quiet and romantic. (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
Groovy. Where are the two of you going this year? (Cut to Ted and Elaine)
Ted & Elaine (In Unison):
North Korea! (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
Well, Allllllllllllllllrighty then! I’ve got my own flight to catch. (The music returns just as abruptly as James makes his way to his flight as he’s accosted by Hare Krishnas who works on James’ sanity until he Inspector Willoughby tosses a Hare Krishna, just as James takes his seat the romantic music from “Airplane” plays as James discovers he’s seated next to Julia Alexa Miller)
Julia Alexa Miller:
James?
TLOTA:
Alex! What are you doing on this flight?
Julia Alexa Miller:
I’m prepping for some photo shoots, Seeing if we can film some scenes in “Life As A Mermaid” around your neck of the woods. You?
TLOTA:
I’m heading home. (Cut to the Airline Flight Attendants played by Olivia Horvath, Brenda Fonseca and Rebecca Yaun give the passengers the instructions before cutting to the fight staff played by Paulo Fonseca, Eric Kurtzke and Renee Miller before cutting to the plane taking off then cutting to the coach cabin area of the plane where James and Julia Alexa Miller are sitting.)
TLOTA:
So what’s the in-flight entertainment?
Julia Alexa Miller:
The Woody Woodpecker Movie.
TLOTA:
Woody Woodpecker?! I LOVE THAT LITTLE RED HEADED DEVILISH DERVISH OF DESTRUCTION AND DEMOLITION! Let’s watch it! (Cut to a black screen as the words “One Viewing Later” are seen as it cuts to James being stopped by Alex as he tries to head for the door to exit the plane that’s in mid-flight.)
Julia Alexa Miller:
JAMES, STOP RIGHT NOW!
TLOTA:
NO! It’s the only way to get the memory of this ungodly abomination out of my head!

Was the Live Action Woody Woodpecker movie so bad, that opening up an emergency exit mid-flight is the only cure to get rid of the nightmares? Find out here

TLOTA:
I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and The views I’m about to express are that of my own and some of yours. If I didn’t make it crystal clear last year I really, really, REALLY love the series “Life As A Mermaid”! (Cut to clips of “Life As A Mermaid” while the music from the opening credits to the show is being played in the foreground as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
Conceived by the very talented Julia Alexa Miller & Chad Narducci, based on a story by Ryan Patton with the series mainly written by Yale Apter & Holden Weihs with the series primarily directed by Julia Alexa Miller and produced by Validus Productions. The series follows two mermaids. Madison played by Taylor Huff and her sister Valerie played by Marcella Di Pasquale and the adventures they have in our world with their friends. It may sound simple however there is so much greatness in the simplicity and there’s a lot to like about the show. The writing is incredibly strong, the acting is phenomenal, the production value might not be Hollywood level but it is so damned impressive it gives Hollywood a run for it’s money and as of this post, they’re getting ready for their fourth season which for me is great because I hope they continue this great series. But for now I’m celebrating the series so far by counting down my favorite episodes, minisodes & specials from one of the best series on YouTube out there. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
But let me suffix this now, I will possibly revive this list later on down the line. In addition I will eventually be doing mini-reviews of the seasons and for those who haven’t seen the series, well… Doctor if you would. (Cut to a clip of the Doctor Who Christmas Special “The Husbands Of River Song” as The Doctor says “Spoilers” and looks out to the landscape of Darillium before cutting to James physically) Thank You Doctor. This is a list of my Ten favorite episodes of “Life As A Mermaid”

Which episodes are ten of the best of a web series that is awesome? Find out here

TLOTA:
I’m James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans and the views I’m about to express are that of my own & some of yours and Welcome to another edition of Reality Checkout! (Cut to Video Purchasing Store checkout counter in which John Santos is a brainless idiot purchasing Reality TV series while James is the clerk who looks at the guy as if he were an idiot and slowly gets angry and does him a favor by buying him a copy of all the seasons of the restarted “Doctor Who” series as he takes the Reality TV series and places them in Port-a-Potty along with a lit stick of Dynamite and then James runs like hell as an image of Kim Kardashian is seen covered in fecal matter and the only clean part is the words “Reality Checkout” while the theme from “Welcome Freshmen” plays in the background before cutting to James in his office.)

TLOTA:
Believe it or not, when most people think of Kristen Wiig it’s easy to think of her time on Saturday Night Live and of course movies like “Paul”, “Bridesmaids”, “Friends With Kids”, “The Secret Life Of Walter Mitty”, (Cut to the Poster of “Ghostbusters: Answer The Call” as James says “Yeah, That”. Cut to the Posters of “Despicable Me 2” & “Despicable Me 3” as James says “Oh wow! That’s cool!”. Cut to the Poster of “Zoolander 2” as James says “Yeesh!”. Cut to the poster of “Wonder Woman 1984” as James says “It’s on my short list of movies to review for my eighth anniversary!”. Cut to James in his office.)

TLOTA:
The point is every star has their starting point and for Kristin and a few others, they got their big break or perhaps the biggest on this one reality show!

Could this be the first reality show I can tolerate? Find out here

TLOTA:
You? You’re her husband, aren’t you? (The man clenches his fist and backhand punches James in the face before cutting to James’ Captor Brendan Rooney.)

Brendan Rooney:
Yeah and every single little second you are out there doing your funny little reviews with your funny little sketches makes me sick! Knowing one day, you’ll turn your venom onto my wife.

TLOTA:
Not on your life! (Brendan punches James in the ribs)

Brendan Rooney:
And do you know why? Because my wife’s birthday is coming soon, and I figured okay, what would she like more than spending the day with her family. Then it hit me, Your head over our mantlepiece!

TLOTA:
Wait, her birthday is coming soon? When?

Brendan Rooney:
A week or so away.

TLOTA:
“A week or so away”? AW CRAP I MISSED THE OLYMPICS!

Brendan Rooney:
That’s not the only thing you’ll miss. You can say goodbye to your friends, the few family who gives a rat’s ass about you and… (A knock comes from upstairs.) Excuse me for a moment. (Cut to Brendan Rooney at his front door before cutting to see Rowdy and Mike Jeavons on the front porch before cutting to see Brandon with a wicked grin then cutting to James, Mike J and Rowdy in the same predicament before cutting to Brendan Rooney looking at the three) Well, Well, Three Internet Reviewers lined up in a row. All three heading for the final blow! The one that ENDS all three of you! (Cut to Rowdy, Mike J & James Faraci)

Mike J:
AW BUGGER! This is all your fault.

Rowdy:
Cut me some slack, it was you who saw James’ face while you were in The John Wayne Airport. You called me and showed me Brendan’s face as well as James’ while he was knocked out!

TLOTA:
Guys? (Rowdy and Mike J continue to argue in banter as James says “Guys” repeatedly until James shouts “GUYS!” as the two are shocked into silence.) In case you numbskulls don’t know, our “Host” is planning on playing “Hassan CHOP!” with us for his wife’s birthday. Unless we can work together to get out of this predicament, the internet will be doing an “In Memoriam of…” for all three us!

Will we survive both the fury of Brendan Rooney and This Olympic movie? Find out here

(0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it before cutting to James physically in his office)

TLOTA:
I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and The views I’m about to express are that of my own and some of yours and yes, the title is correct! (Cut to classic 20th Century Fox movies and TV Shows as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
I admit that there is still a fear that we are going to see the movies and TV Shows that were made when 20th Century Fox wasn’t being controlled by the Mouse-Eared Reich get buried in the Disney Vaults and never released again or even worse they’d water down movies like “M*A*S*H”, “Cleopatra”, “Dr. Doolittle”, the original “Planet Of The Apes” movies, “Patton”, “Mrs. Doubtfire”, “Independence Day” or shows on the Fox network like “The Orville” would be so heavily bogged down in memos and notes that their writing staff, production staff and cast would ultimately walk hand in hand going down a line right into the business end of a fully running Helicopter Propeller than be forced to write, produce and star in such below intelligent drivel that’d insult the intelligence of a month old. Maybe “The Last Man On Earth” becomes an even more unbearable pile of garbage! And for those who cannot stand “The Simpsons” and “Family Guy” now well let’s just say after Disney is through with them we won’t be seeing episode 1000 of The Simpsons or a 28th season of Family Guy. Seriously these shows have been going on for an eternity and a half! Give ’em the old Yeller treatment already! But I also remembering Disney having given us timeless classics like “The Sword In The Stone”, “Robin Hood”, “Pinocchio”,”The Black Hole”, “The Little Mermaid”, “Aladdin”, “The Lion King”, “Bambi”, “20,000 Leagues Under The Sea”, “The Apple Dumpling Gang”, “The Apple Dumpling Gang Rides Again” and so many other their movies that have been a part of everyone’s childhood and for many their adulthood and the kids the adults have. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
However as of late, I’ve noticed something of a trend hating everything the Mouse-Eared Reich have been doing as of late. (Cut to clips of certain Disney properties as of late as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
While Marvel continues to do well financially with their Comics, Movies and TV Shows. Critically it appears they’re not being looked upon favorably. The Star Wars Movies while they’re still being made have been upsetting old school fans and new fans who have gotten into the original movies. Now with them purchasing 20th Century Fox’s past, present and future movies and some of their networks that might add fuel to the fire. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
And I’m actually guilty of having some Disney hate and to understand why, we’ll have to travel back to one of their first acquisitions that they used up for all it’s worth then sold off back to the original owners after they pretty much trashed it. It’s the summer of 2002, I was just about to be an uncle for the first time and I discovered Saban had been bought out and for all intent and purpose their Flagship Franchise was going to be ending as well. (Cut to clips of “Forever Red” as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
For those that haven’t seen History Of Power Rangers then let me tell you a bit of history that few don’t know. “Power Rangers: Wild Force” was done with a whopping 1% of Saban having creative control and Disney coming in with 99% of the total say in what would happen to the series even though Disney claimed they were “Hands Off” when it came to the show. Ever wonder why we had a lot of the creative problems with episodes like “Forever Red”? Yeah even though the hoax “Scorpion Reign” was considered in cannon when Amit Bhaumik when he wrote it, though fans have discredited both Bhaumik and “Scorpion Reign” one thing I couldn’t get over, The Wild Force Rider defeating Serpentera. While Bandai funded the rest of the filming of “Forever Red” I have to believe that somehow Disney okayed Bandai helping fund the filming of “Forever Red” if they got the ridiculous ending. However what many of us didn’t know is if this was the final season. So when the announcement of “Ninja Storm” happened many Power Rangers were relieved. When we saw “Ninja Storm”…. (Cut to clips of the “Comedic” moments of “Power Rangers: Ninja Storm” before cutting to James physically as he grabs a bottle of pain reliever and then washing it down with Martinelli’s)

Is this a bit of history repeating? Find out here

TLOTA:
So, where was I? Oh yeah, the next installment of our Olympic movie marathon as we take one more of Disney’s Olympic Tales

The next great Winter Olympic Story is told here

TLOTA:
I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and The views I’m about to express are that of my own and some of yours. Watching all these movies about sports, the Olympics and everything else I noticed something of a formula. (Cut to different sports movies as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
And that’s not a bad thing. Sometimes you need a good formula to a movie format. In the case of Sports movies there is usually either an underdog or a team of underdogs that are looked upon as jokes but slowly but surely are seen as equals with the exception of those who have been champions for so long everyone of the opponents is so beneath them they go through everyone without effort except the hard working underdogs who somehow found the right element that beats the champions and knocks them back to earth. Whether it’d be a wise mentor or something internal the underdogs find themselves sometimes rising beyond and becoming champs themselves. Now when it works, it’s awesome and we get movies like “Rocky”, “Creed”, “The Bad News Bears” (The Original), “The Mighty Ducks”, “Cool Runnings”, “Miracle”, “Angels In The Outfield” (Both the original and the remake with Christopher Lloyd) and others in the same vein. But when it goes bad it’s the same as “Air Bud” movies, the “Bad News Bears” remake and the sequels to the “Angels In The Outfield” remake. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
So when does the formula work and when doesn’t it work.

What is the formula in Sports Movies that bring us back? Find out here