Roll Me Over “Beethoven”
(The scene begins with a laser beam in the sky as the music of the 1994 American Gladiators opening theme plays the angle of the camera goes into the laser as four shadowed figures with lasered outlines appear as the shadows reveal themselves to be James Faraci in the center, Kent Lilly and Paulo Fonseca on the right and Rebecca Yaun on the left as their names appear above the characters. As they run out of frame moving towards the camera, four more shadowed figures with lasered outlines appear, and the shadows reveal themselves as Brenda Fonseca on the right, Nick Yaun on the left, and John and Mike Santos and their names appear above the characters. As they run out of frame moving forward moving towards the camera, five more shadowed figures with lasered outlines appear as they reveal themselves to be Renee Miller and Eric Kurtzke on the right, Andrew Beach and Ed Champion on the left, and Olivia Horvath appears in the center as their names appear above the characters. As they run out of frame credits of “Written by James Faraci with assistance from Steve Kidd, Edited by Eric Kurtzke, Makeup by Olivia Horvath Produced by First Choice Productions, Directed by James Faraci” as it ends the Laser beam disappears and at the 0:28 mark of the theme song the laser beam cut out the words “The” “Last” “Of” “The” appear. At the 0:32-0:36 mark, the term “Americans” start to come forward as it pulls down, and James’ Morpher and Sonic Screwdriver is flung into the frame as James grabs both and morphs into The Last Of The Americans with James and half of team TLOTA on his right and the other half on his left as the camera pulls back to see the slab with the markings “The Last Of The Americans.” Cut to Steve Kidd as he hums “Yum-Dee-Dee-Dee-Dee-Dee-Hua-Hua!” as he prepares to check in on James as there is audio coming from Studio’s break room with James’s shouting of “EENIE, MEENIE, MINEY DIE!” and the break room breaking out into angry cross-talking. Steve walks in to see James, Julia Alexa Miller with Team TLOTA dressed in Neo-Classical/Napoleonic era high society wear except for Chad Narducci as the others try to shove Chad towards James and Alex trying to keep the two away. Cut to Steve as he looks very confused and he knocks on the door as it cuts to James turning and putting down the Bowie Knife.)
Steve? Hey, what’s up with you dude? (Cut to Steve Kidd)
I was about to ask you the same thing! (Cut to everyone else)
Julia Alexa Miller:
Well, Steve, it’s a bit complicated and crazy! (Cut to Steve Kidd)
I’m all ears. (Cut to Team TLOTA)
Well Firstly, James thought he wanted to do something a little classier than the usual fare around here.
So he figured on reviewing a movie on the works and life of one Ludwig Von Beethoven
And for research’s sake unlike JFK or Amadeus, James decided that we were to go to the time of Ludwig Von Beethoven and listen to his work and story in case the movie decided to skip over crucial details.
So we find ourselves heading to the Neo-Classical/Napoleonic Era of music, the 1810’s when from out of nowhere, boom, creatures from God only knows wherever they came from find themselves trying to kill Beethoven!
James hits the notes for Beethoven’s Fifth thus inspiring the Maestro to compose the piece.
We’re soon run out of there with our asses nearly getting slaughtered because Eric called Napoleon’s plans crazy.
And Renee may have made a reference to Napoleon’s height which really set the dude off. (Cut to James and Julia Alexa Miller)
And just when I think the worst is behind us, Chad didn’t even get us the right movie! (Cut to Steve Kidd)
Well to my knowledge, there was never a movie about the classic composer. (Cut to James)
EXACTLY! HE HAD TO GET ME THE ONE WITH THE OBNOXIOUS CREATURE and A Saint Bernard!
How do Charles Grodin, A Saint Bernard, and A Classical Composer cross paths? Find out here