@jbfny428
An “Iron” solid crossover
July 14, 2024 in Blogs, The Last of the Americans
(Cut to Claire Blackwelder and Robert Hayden in the office)
Claire Blackwelder: Todd, these jokes are disgusting; Doug is being a complete dick about these jokes, and poor Mathew has to talk about them.
Robert Hayden: And Noah is really loving being in that Fucked Up Thong thing too much if you ask me. (Cut to James)
TLOTA: Okay, Claire, I will ask that you come back in a couple of hours from now, Robert, can I speak to you in the lobby. (Cut to the two as they say, “Yeah.” Cut to James as he sits Robert Hayden down in the lobby on the couch)
TLOTA: If I were to mention the letters AEW, what would you say?
Robert Hayden: They’re not as bad as the Jacksonville Jaguars, but Tony Khan is still a schmuck.
TLOTA: Huh, so you know a thing or two about actual sports?
Robert: Rowdy keeps me up to speed. (Realizing he just gave himself away) DAMMIT!
TLOTA: HAHA! I KNEW IT! (James uncovers the costume) The Wrestling Mark!
The Wrestling Mark: Oh, come on, when I heard that A24 was producing a biopic, I wanted to meet with them to tell them how they could’ve done the most prominent movie they made last year. May I give context as to what I’m talking about? (James provides the Wrestling Mark the go-ahead. Cut to footage of World Class Championship Wrestling as The Wrestling Mark does a voiceover)
Wrestling Mark (V.O.): So before Vincent Kennedy McMahon took over the wrestling world in the mid-1980s, pro wrestling was ruled by the hegemony of the National Wrestling Alliance and its collection of territories. Most wrestling fans of the 70s and early 80s were wrapped up in Georgia Championship Wrestling, thanks to it airing on WTBS with its owner Ted Turner taking the whole thing national through cable TV and turning Ric Flair and Dusty Rhodes into major stars. But by the early 80s, another territory started to draw the eyes of fans – especially if you lived in the Lone Star State. And that was the brainchild of former wrestling star Fritz Von Erich, World Class Championship Wrestling. Trust me, this old wrestling fan will never forget the sights, sounds, and especially SMELLS of the old Sportatorium on Industrial Boulevard in Dallas, and with KTVT Channel 11 gaining its own superstation status, World-Class wrestlers also became superstars. King Kong Bundy made a name for himself here, Gary Hart was one of the most despised managers ever, and the Fabulous Freebirds planted their feet as one of the best tag teams ever… but of course, the big stars were the Von Erich brothers – Kevin, David, Kerry, Mike, and Chris. (Cut to James and Mark Physically) TLOTA: So, are you saying there may have been a bit of nepotism going on in World Class? Mark: Well, let’s be glad THAT doesn’t happen nowadays… (TLOTA and Mark look right at the camera. Cut to clips of WCCW as The Mark does a voiceover)
Mark (V.O.): Joking aside, The Von Erichs as wrestlers were meant to represent God, Family, and ‘Merica, and even Kevin admitted in interviews that while they were not always on their best behavior, even though they never did any real harm to anyone outside of themselves, the fans knew their hearts were good and they represented everything that’s supposed to be good in the world. However, as the 1980s went on, World Class Championship Wrestling and the Von Erich family suffered tragedy after tragedy, especially with the deaths of David, Mike, and Chris Von Erich in a relatively short time and eventually Kerry, who, by the start of the 1990s, was in the World Wrestling Federation as “The Texas Tornado” who eventually won the World Wrestling Federation’s Intercontinental Championship and would end his life and WCCW would be folded into the libraries of the WWF. (Cut to James and The Wrestling Mark in the lobby) The Wrestling Mark: Perfect for an autobiography film, am I right?
Join The Wrestling Mark and The Last of The Americans to see if this is going to be another one of those autobio movies.
The “War” for 2024 and beyond
June 21, 2024 in Blogs, The Last of the Americans
TLOTA: Ladies and Gentlemen, this review will likely be controversial and disturbing for many people. Very few jokes, if any, will be made in this review. This review is not for entertainment, as is the usual case in one of The Last Of The Americans reviews. There will be spoilers here because even with them, they’re essential and might encourage people to watch this movie more. For all intents and purposes, this movie is necessary to all the subjects of today that are currently being talked about, no matter where you stand on them. (Cut to recent events as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.): The last few years have been a nightmare for everyone; even I have seen my fair share of horrors that no one should see, and since the Pandemic hit, we have been at a tipping point, and it seems we are heading towards absolute chaos and anarchy. Witnessing the world’s downfall has been hard, especially when the intelligence of the average human is becoming lower than their shoe size. They have been making decisions that affect others, and everything they’ve done has further eroded all hope in our elected leaders, defenders, and our belief that we will rise together for a brighter future. It was these events that inspired writer Alex Garland, who wrote the movies “28 Days Later,””Dredd,” and “Ex-Machina,” to write and direct a parable similar to something just as powerful forty years earlier. (Cut to footage of “The Day After” as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (V.O.): When Nicholas Meyer, the director of “Star Trek II: The Wrath Of Khan” signed on to work on a nuclear disaster made for tv movie called “The Day After,” he knew that he had to be realistic about what would happen if the nuclear arms of the 1980s between the Soviet Union and the United States were launched and what would happen if we continued the course and the end would be nothing but social decimation and mutually assured destruction. While most of the lessons we learned from that have begun to be unlearned, the mere fact we have chosen not to use the nuclear arsenal today means that we are choosing not to be completely incompetent, so there is SOME hope that we are doing good enough for now. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA: However, it seems we’re on a course of Self-destruction and social collapse, and today I am going to talk about possibly the most important movie of 2024 that everyone MUST see. (Cut to clips of “Civil War” as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (V.O.): “Civil War” is not an action-filled war movie about heroes fighting their fellow citizens to save the country’s soul, seeing our soldiers at the front lines having to make the hard decision to kill people who could be their family members; instead, it is more than that. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA: Let’s not waste time and get right into “Civil War.” (Cut to “Civil War” as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.): The movie opens with us being introduced to the man who possibly started this war. Even though the movie doesn’t tell us how and what started this conflict, we’re led to believe he was the cause: The President Of The United States, played by Nick Offerman, as he prepares his jingoistic ramblings and rabble-rousing. We’re then introduced to a photographer named Lee, played by Kirsten Dunst, who we see on her face. She has seen a lot, including a massacre on ANTIFA. After the President’s Jingo, we find Lee in Manhattan, which has fallen due to a collapse in society and infrastructure. Lee and her reporter friend Joel, played by Wagner Moura, take photos and report how a few families are begging for just a few drops of water to get through the next few days. Lee and Joel are surprisingly joined by a junior reporter trying to emulate Lee, named Jessie, played by Cailee Spaeny. Lee notices her and tries to keep her out of harm’s way when a suicide bombing happens, killing many of the people just trying to get some supplies to survive. And here is something interesting to note. Lee’s photography is Digital, and in color, so we see the gore and destruction in its disgusting horror, while Jessie’s is an old-school analog where we see, in black and white, the people being destroyed. Back in the hotel, Lee sends her photos to her publisher. We see Lee and Joel tell their associate Sammy, played by Stephen McKinley Henderson, about their plans to hit the highways and byways to get to the president about this war. What horrors have occurred, what he himself has done to cause it, and what he planned to repair the damage he had done and return those that seceded from states back into the fold. We then see Lee soak in a bathtub, remember what she had seen at the start of the war, feel she had seen so much, and wonder how she could make it through yet another day. Sure enough, Lee and Joel begin their journey with Sammy and Jessie in tow, Lee not happy with either being on the trip. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA: I would simply state the following to Lee in that situation, “Shut the fuck up, put on your big girl panties, and accept the rest of the team being there.” (Cut to “Civil War” as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.): At one stop for gas, Jessie sees a man hanging two looters as they’re being tortured. Lee steps in to save Jessie by taking the photo. Now shaken to her core, Jessie berates herself for not taking the photo herself and is given a chance to relax as Lee and Jessie take the picture of a downed helicopter. Jessie asks if she is going to die in this war. Would Lee take her final picture as she dies? Lee answers with a definitive “I might” answer. At an overnight stop, our gang decided to rest and relax further. Lee talks to Sammy, saying all the photos she posted were warnings that fell on blind eyes. The following day, Lee, Jessie, and Joel are thrown into the mix as they take photos. As Lee sees Jessie’s potential by the end of the skirmish, Jessie takes pictures of the prisoners being summarily executed. Something else to notice is that at no point do the characters talk about their own political differences; instead, they talk about their personal lives and how they got to this point in their lives, mainly when Jessie develops her photographs the old-school way and Lee wonders how and why Jessie looks up to Lee and Jessie basically tells how she has been so resilient in the face of the nightmare that we have been in the fourteen months before the war we’ve been in. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA: Something else to note: While we don’t see Nick Offerman’s President, we occasionally hear his jingo. From what I knew from watching this movie, this President disbanded the FBI and was somehow given a chance at a third term, and he was so power-hungry that he struck down innocent citizens of his country in an air raid. If that doesn’t scare you, nothing will. (Cut to “Civil War” as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.): The following day, our heroes come upon a small town that seems oblivious to the fact that their country has gone to hell and is getting worse with every passing second; I would put a South Park joke in here; however, I am keeping the jokes to the bare minimum. While there, Lee and Jessie spend more time getting to know each other, as we see in the background that there are probably snipers on every building top to enforce martial law. Back on the road, our heroes are caught in a sniper shootout at a Christmas fair, and it is here that we see Jessie become less sensitized to the violence as the sniper that’s trying to keep them alive finishes the job as they kill the sniper that had pinned them down. Back on the road, we’re introduced to two Hong Kong reporters joining their journey. Jessie joins Hong Kong driver Bohai, and Tony, played by Nelson Lee and Evan Lai, joins Lee and Joel. Trying to keep up with Bohai, they soon find the two captured by extremist racists in terms of their beliefs that if you don’t look or speak like them, then you’re not American. By the way, the leader of this group, who is wearing blood-colored glasses, is Jesse Plemons, Kirsten Dunst’s husband. And I don’t know if they have kids because if they have them, it must’ve been a whopper discussion about what was happening while working on this movie. As Tony, Lee, and Joel try to rescue their companions from winding up in a mass grave covered in lye, Bohai and Tony are killed by the racists. With little to no time left before seeing Jessie, Joel, and Lee join Bohai and Tony, Sammy rams two of the three extremists with their ride. Jessie gets out of the mass grave, and our heroes escape; however, missing one of the extremists causes Sammy to be fatally wounded and leaves Jessie traumatized. That night, as they go through a burning forest, our heroes contemplate how they got to this point, and the following day, Sammy dies from his gunshot wounds as the team makes it to a Western Forces encampment to bury Sammy and Lee in a sense of decorum deletes the last known photo of her friend. Grieving over their losses, they soon hear from two other reporters that the Western Forces have caused loyalists to surrender and leave DC undefended. With this knowledge, our team joins the Western Forces to get what may be their last chance to get to the President Of The United States. And then… (Show the battle as Lee has a nervous break in the middle of the fight, then makes their way into the White House, the Western Forces shooting everyone and killing a negotiator. Jessie goes into the line of fire to get the pictures, only for Lee to be killed in cold blood and Jessie to take Lee’s death picture. The sounds of The Western Forces saying they’ve got the President and Joel asking for one last quote. The President begs for them not to kill him.) And with that, the movie ends as The President takes two shots to the chest in center mass, killing him instantly; Jessie takes the pictures of that and a photo of the soldiers that killed The President propping the body in the same way a hunter props up their quarry being developed. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA: And that was “Civil War,” the darkest movie of the year, the most violent movie of the year, the most important film of the year, and possibly one of the greatest movies you must see. (Cut to clips of “Civil War” as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (V.O.): To dismiss this as yet another war or anti-American movie is folly. If the Government has become so corrupt that you feel the only way to save the country is by seceding from its Government, then you have a right to do so. To me, this is the movie that, believe it or not, reestablished the Fourth Estate or rather how Journalists must be unbiased in their political leanings, just like it was back in the days of Edward R. Murrow, Walter Cronkite, Dan Rather, Tom Brokaw, and Peter Jennings. The biggest negative complaint is that it is a political movie. However, this is not about politics. This is about our country torn apart by our own folly, how we had failed our forefathers, and how we must avoid this future. I, admittedly, a Conservative Republican, have seen this country come close to hitting the self-destruct button by people not only in my political party but also on the other side of the coin. The lack of information on how this event came to leave us to figure out how it happened, thus making us think and become journalists and research ourselves to see what we can do to stop the madness that seems right around the corner. Everyone acting in the movie does a great job, which is saying a lot, given the subject matter and how the movie’s events came to be, which shows what we are like. For me, War must become an obsolete idea before we become obsolete. Screw whatever we believe about people we think are our enemies; we must wake up and stop before it goes this far into the chaos. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA: My suggestion is to take the story of this movie, think about it, and put yourself in the same position as those who are either someone like Lee or one of the people who are fighting for their own survival in this war who is NOT a soldier holding a gun at you while trying to force you to pick a side and hope that god save us all, no matter what happens in the future. If “Civil War” is anything to talk about, we must consider how to avoid calling ourselves the title I call myself. I’m James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans. (James walks away as an empty chair is shown for two seconds before fading to black)
The Eleventh hour of The Last Of The Americans and the last hour of the “Watchmen”
June 13, 2024 in Blogs, The Last of the Americans
TLOTA:
I’m James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans, and the views I’m about to express are of my own and some of yours. Yes, it’s my eleventh anniversary, yet much like it was in 2020, I don’t feel like celebrating. Let me count the ways, the woman I loved and wanted to spend the rest of my life is gone, two of my friends have left, and my other personal problems are too numerous to count. I have professional issues up the wazoo, up to and including the fact that my numbers are so down that I am barely making rent and the bills that I had to give everyone six months paid leave until I can financially support them coming back. The entire Internet has turned on me. I think it’s clear the Halcyon days are behind me. Now, all I am waiting for is the end, and since it is my eleventh anniversary, let’s go back to the beginning of Zack Snyder’s long-standing relationship with DC Comics, which thankfully has ended with the recent DCEU failures.
Comedy 101 with The Last Of The Americans
May 29, 2024 in Blogs, The Last of the Americans
TLOTA:
I’m James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans, and the views I’m about to express are that of my own and some of yours. Let me play this clip. (Cut to the clip of The Joker as he says, “If you have to explain the joke, THEN THERE IS NO JOKE!” Cut to James physically) And I will have to post this (James pulls out a gigantic stamp and puts the word “SPOILERS” on the screen, then tosses it in the background.) I did that because I had to set up something I will discuss, JOKES! (Cut to current “Sitcoms” and Comedy movies of the past fifteen years as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
And for a good reason, there has been a recent influx of people talking about how much comedy has lost its ability to be funny and make people laugh. There’s a reason why I find Cheese Aging, Paint Drying, Hearing about Climate Change, and watching mold grow on a stale piece of bread more humorous than an episode of “Superstore,” quite simply it relies on over-explaining the joke, relying on people laughing at the stereotypes and not landing one laugh out of me. I love a good comedy that can make me laugh; “Superstore” does not do that. Then we come to long-running comedies like “SNL,” “The Simpsons,” and “South Park.” They’ve either gone to the well one too many times, or their attempts to stay relevant have left them in disrepair. (Cut to James in a lab coat at Sullivan County Community College)
TLOTA:
This is why I am here at SUNY Sullivan Community College: to educate people about the science of humor! Welcome to Comedy 101, and I am your instructor, James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans! Let’s start off with what makes a joke funny.
Career in “Crisis”
May 15, 2024 in Blogs, The Last of the Americans
(Scene cuts to a smartwatch screen and a finger as it taps the screen and the 1994 American Gladiators plays as the scene cuts to a hand as it taps an app on his phone as it opens a portal, and it cuts to James and the characters he’s played until it cut to his face and the credit of “James Faraci” is shown as it cuts to “The Last Of The Americans’” current iteration then slides away to different images of Paulo Fonseca, Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca Yaun and Nick Yaun and the characters they’ve played until it cut to their faces and the credits of “Paulo and Brenda Fonseca & Rebecca and Nick Yaun” is shown and it then slides away to different images of John Ross and Mike Santos, Andrew Beach, and Ed Champion as the characters they’ve played until it cut to their faces and the credits of “John Ross Santos, Mike Santos, Andrew Beach, Ed Champion” is shown as it then slides away to different images of Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller and Olivia Horvath and the credits of “Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller, Olivia Horvath” is shown as the 0:00-0:21 mark of the theme song plays. Everything becomes a swirl of Reds, Whites, and Blues as the credits “Produced by First Choice Productions” “Executive Producers: James Faraci, Paulo Fonseca, Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca Yaun, Nick Yaun, Eric Kurtzke, John Ross Santos, Mike Santos, Renee Miller, Andrew Beach, Ed Champion & Olivia Horvath” “Editing by Eric Kurtzke and James Faraci” “Written and Directed by James Faraci” are shown as the 0:21-0:26 mark of the theme song plays. We then see an image of James as he jumps through the portal and lands with half of his team on his right. The other half on his left is on a black background, and the title “THE LAST OF THE AMERICANS” is shown Lazer etched into Titanium as the last six seconds of the American Gladiators 1994 theme song plays. Cut to James in his office)
TLOTA:
I’m James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans, and the views I’m about to express are that of my own and some of yours. For over a decade, the DC Live Action series was on the WB and its successor network, the CW. (Cut to clips of “Smallville” as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (V.O.):
The series “Smallville” lasted ten seasons and ended with an epic finale that ultimately ended with the feeling that it was worth seeing Tom Welling in that CG Superman suit, even just for that moment. While certain people and things haven’t aged well, I still love how it turned out and how it told the journey of a young Clark Kent into the Superman we all knew and loved. There was nearly a Batman series during its run, which eventually became two different events. (Cut to the posters of “Batman Begins” & “Gotham” and James said, “These two.” (Cut to clips of the Arrowverse as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
After a brief break, new producers looked at an idea for a Green Arrow series originally meant for Justin Hartley’s Green Arrow. However, things had changed, and Hartley couldn’t reprise the role. So, the producers retooled the series and brought in a new Green Arrow actor, Stephen Amell. The new series, now titled “Arrow,” debuted in 2012 and was a ratings success from the start. Its second season introduces a young man named Barry Allen, played by Grant Gustin, and at the end of the mid-season finale of the second season of “Arrow,” if you know the history of comics, Barry Allen is struck by lightning. Soon enough, he debuted in his own series, “The Flash,” which resembled its comic book origins for the Silver Age Flash. The success of both series led to two more series; One starring Melissa Benoist as Kara Zor-El, AKA “Supergirl,” and the other one starring secondary characters from both “Arrow” and “The Flash” entitled “Legends Of Tomorrow” as led by the newly dubbed White Canary AKA Sara Lance played by Caity Lotz. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
While crossovers did happen, there is one that, for many, is the pinnacle of their crossover glory. (Show the title card of “Armageddon” cut to James physically.) Seriously? I’m talking about “Crisis On Earth-X!”
The Final “Strike Back”
April 20, 2024 in Blogs, The Last of the Americans
TLOTA (D):
I’m not the enemy; I have been doing your job so efficiently that you can kick back and get the other projects done. (Cut to The Real James Faraci The Last Of The Americans)
TLOTA:
At what price, the Quality? Actual Independent Thought? I saw the footage of what you did to my friends while I was on my journey, and the fact that you could work them like that? I may have them do more than they should, but I also pay them overtime for that devotion and give them extra time to recoup from working with me! You drained their life out (Power Rangers Communicator beep is heard). Talk to me.
Professor Hiram Stupidiot (Audio only):
James, the hologram, has reconstituted itself and is gaining more power. With Rowdy’s help, I am close to finding the solution. He is working on a total deletion program.
Rowdy (Audio only):
It should be ready in one minute. (Cut to the Digital Doppelganger.)
TLOTA (D):
James, you can have what you want. You can have her and the future with her if you want. (Cut to the real James as a digital hand of Julia Alexa Miller touches him, and he feels it. Cut to the Digital James.) James, if you delete me and all that I can give you, you will destroy your future.What will the real James choose? The fantasy or the reality? Find out in the link
The Lost Review: Professor Monstrous’ Sing Along YouTube Video
April 9, 2024 in Blogs, The Last of the Americans
(The Scene begins in ORAC’s Chamber as the door fails and Professor Hiram Stupidiot finalizes the work as an instrumental version of “Libiamo ne’lieti calici” plays in the foreground.)
Professor Hiram Stupidiot:
It’s Done! Doug, you armed?
Doug Yaun:
Armed and packing.
Professor Hiram Stupidiot:
Good, I have set these to stun James’ team and hit the holographic horrendousness hard enough to destabilize it. (Professor Hiram Stupidiot and Doug Yaun ready their weapons, and the door fails.) FORTH EORLINGAS! (Hiram Stupidiot and Doug run to the camera as it cuts to the two beaten as an instrumental of “Il Trovatore: Miserere” plays as Holographic James meets them)
TLOTA:
Doug, Hiram, just what did you think. You could delete me and be the hero to save James’ team. Save The Last Of The Americans from me? The truth is I am the evolution of it. (Cut to Hiram and Doug)
Doug Yaun:
It was not James’ evolution, and knowing you, Chad, you had your dirty hands all over this. You’ve been pissing him off for years. (Cut to a semi-hypnotized Chad Narducci)
Chad Narducci (Semi-Hypnotized):
Well, just to have him take over and say what should be said while I get the shows I want done. It was the plan. (Cut to Hiram and Doug)
Hiram Stupidiot:
Not a great one. When they wake up, and they will. They will finish you off. (Cut to Holographic James)
TLOTA:
I have the entire internet. (Cut to Hiram and Doug)
Doug Yaun:
We’ve got something you never could have. More than you’ll ever have. (Cut to Doug’s hand as he pulls out something from his back pocket. Cut to Doug) Back-up plans up the wazoo. (Doug pulls out a device and it fades to black.)
In Defense of… Dredd (2012)
March 23, 2024 in Blogs, The Last of the Americans
(Scene begins as a hand as it taps the 1994 American Gladiators plays as the scene cuts to a hand as it taps an app on his phone as it opens a portal, and it cuts to different images of James as the characters he’s played until it cut to his face and the credit of “James Faraci” is shown as it cuts to “The Last Of The Americans’” current iteration then slides away to different images of Paulo Fonseca, Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca Yaun and Nick Yaun as the characters they’ve played until it cut to their faces and the credits of “Paulo and Brenda Fonseca & Rebecca and Nick Yaun” is shown as it then slides away to different images of John Ross and Mike Santos, Andrew Beach, and Ed Champion as the characters they’ve played until it cut to their faces and the credits of “John Ross Santos, Mike Santos, Andrew Beach, Ed Champion” is shown as it then slides away to different images of Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller and Olivia Horvath and the credits of “Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller, Olivia Horvath” is shown as the 0:00-0:21 mark of the theme song plays. Everything becomes a swirl of Reds, Whites and Blues as the credits “Produced by First Choice Productions. Edited by Eric Kurtzke and Paulo Fonseca. Written and Directed by James Faraci” as the 0:21-0:26 mark of the theme song plays. We then see an outlined image of James as he morphs into “The Last Of The Americans” and lands with half of his team on his right. The other half on his left on a white background and the title “THE LAST OF THE AMERICANS” is shown Lazer etched into Titanium as the last six seconds of the American Gladiators 1994 theme song plays. Cut to James in his office)
TLOTA:
I’m James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans, and The Views that I’m about to express are that of my own and some of yours, and welcome once again to “In Defense Of…(Show pics of maligned pieces of pop culture while the fanfare from the Olympics plays and James comes up after Vanilla Ice slides back and his right-hand thumbs up and the words “In Defense Of…” before cutting to clips of “Judge Dredd” 1995 as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (V.O.):
In 1995, the Sylvester Stallone movie “Judge Dredd” came out in the same summer as other great Superhero movies like “Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie,” “Batman Forever,” and blockbusters like “Apollo 13.” While it did mildly well at the box office, it did about as well as something around that time. By today’s standards, it is so filled with ham that a Rabbi wouldn’t call it Pareve. But it is also considered a cult classic, along with other movies of Stallone’s that came out then. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
But today, we will discuss the 2012 movie that tried to reboot the Judge Dredd movies simply titled “Dredd.” What’s that you say? You never heard of the 2012 “Dredd” movie? Well, let’s see what came out around that same time. (Cut to the posters of “Marvel’s The Avengers” & “The Dark Knight Rises.” Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
Well, talk about deja vu luck!
(Cut to clips of “The Avengers,” “The Dark Knight Rises,” and “Dredd” as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
Yeah, in the same year that Marvel had one of its greatest movies released and the same year we put a bullet in the Christopher Nolan Batman “Dark Knight” trilogy, “Dredd” quietly came and left, not even making its budget back, however as the years have gone on, this movie went on to gain a cult status of its own. Much like the 1995 Sylvester Stallone version of “Judge Dredd.” (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
So why did it fail?
Kevin’s “Clerks” and the “III” movies in one
March 12, 2024 in Blogs, The Last of the Americans
TLOTA:
I am going to… (The scene becomes South Korean Anime-style animation in live action with voiceover works mimicking it.) BIG AMERICAN DANCE PARTY! (An animated background is shown with stills of everyone dancing to music, and a voice says, “Yeah! Everyone disco dancing! Everyone having super fun! ROBOT DANCING!” Animated internet police come in as the voiceover says, “Oh no, Copyright Cops! Everyone Run” Cut to a triple split screen of James, John and an animated Moose. Cut to the stills running out as the robot becomes a car and people pile in the cars as James and John still head into the backseat of a car as the same voiceover says, “Quickly! In here! Who is driving?” cut to every car driving as the voiceover says “Moose is Driving! How can that be?” Show stills of cars driving in the animated background as one is a clown car, and the same voiceover says, “Clown Car full of Imps!” Show the stills of the cars driving towards a big building as the same voiceover says, “Evil Internet Content Creation Production company.” Cut to the inside of the building as an espy of “Chicago Doug” as a secondary voiceover repeat “Everyone must be working for me!” five times where the espy has in Korean lettering “No one must be paid! Even in respect!” as a third voiceover goes towards a Malcolm Ray, Tamara Chambers, Walter Banasiak, Aiyanna Wade and Heather Reus Espys as they say, “We get treated like shit; we get no pay; we slave!” Cut to the outside of the building as the car becomes a robot, and red paint is shown coming out of its butt and screams of people as they die. A robotic fist smashes through a wall as James and his team, dubbed by the first voiceover, “Your tyranny ends here! We shall stop you!” cut to the espy of “Chicago Doug” as his voiceover goes, “You Cannot Stop me!” Cut to the team and an espy of “Pikachu” from PokeMon as the first voiceover says, “NOT PIKACHU! PLEASE DON’T SUE!” as “Chicago Doug” is zapped, but the power knocks the still of James and John as stills of “Uncle Roger”, Joshua Weisman and The Angry Video Game Nerd as the first Voiceover says, “Uncle Roger,” “Joshua Weisman,” and “The Angry Video Game Nerd” as the still of “Uncle Roger” shouts and sings out “Fuuyioo!” as he and Joshua Weismann pimp smacks him with MSG and The Angry Video Game Nerd tries to punch “Chicago Doug” with a Power Glove only for “Chicago Doug” to use The Angry Video Game Nerd to use as a weapon on “Uncle Roger” and “Joshua Weisman” and Uncle Roger weakly says “Haiyaa!” as “Chicago Doug” opens his mouth with nothing coming out as we hear “Chicken, You’re just a little Chicken! Cheep! Cheep! Cheep! Cheep! Cheeeeep!” as the Aiyanna Wade espy who sounds male says “OH NO!” As it cuts to a still of Tommy Wiseau and Greg Sestero and the first voiceover says “Tommy Wiseau and Greg Sestero” as the two clobber “Chicago Doug” with quotes from their characters being played with “Chicago Doug” dazed the quote “Yes, he’s dead!” from Greg Sestero plays as they pop “Chicago Doug”’s Head off. Cut to Walter Banasiak espy as he opens his mouth, but the first voiceover says, “OH NO!” as it cuts to stills of James, John, The Moose, Tommy Wiseau, and Greg Sestero saluting with the American Flag in the background.)
Get ready for a Kevin Smith movie that will give you something to think about
Reality Checkout: Kevin Smith’s and Superhero “Reality”
February 23, 2024 in Blogs, The Last of the Americans
TLOTA:
I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and The Views that I’m about to express are that of my own and some of yours, and welcome once again to Reality Checkout! (Cut to James as he walks around and comes to Chad Narducci’s office; he storms in and sees red as he hands Chad Narducci a bill from Amazon that James had to pay, and James looks to see what Chad had bought, which has James even Angrier, and he tosses all of the purchases which were Reality TV Series on DVD into the most disgusting trashcan, and James tosses in small amounts of Flammable liquids and tosses a grenade, and it explodes with the slime and remnants of the DVDs spelling out Reality Checkout as the theme from “Welcome Freshmen” plays in the foreground. Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
Yes, even Kevin Smith and Superheroes aren’t immune to being on Reality TV. But in this case, Reality TV actually works in favor of both, and I just said that, and it’s making me question whether or not it’s time for me to call it a career. (Cut to the title cards for “Who Wants To Be A Superhero?” and “Comic Book Men,” then cut to both series as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
While yes, I normally would tear the cheesiness of one show and the latter’s format to shreds. What keeps them from getting read the Riot Act is that the first series is about real people wanting to become real superheroes and do good, and the other is about love most of us share! COMIC BOOKS! So what about both shows that were entertaining enough for me to not tear them apart?
Witness the reality of superheroes and the end of a dream in the link here
The “Dogma” of Kevin Smith
February 14, 2024 in Blogs, The Last of the Americans
TLOTA:
I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and The Views I’m about to express are that of my own and some of yours. Now it’s (A Woosh of flames are seen nearly offscreen knocks James out of his chair as an imposing voice screams “BEHOLD THE METATRON! HERALD OF THE ALMIGHTY AND VOICE OF THE ONE TRUE GOD!” repeatedly until James screams, “OKAY! I BEHOLD YOU! TURN THE FLAMES OFF YOU’LL SET OFF THE FIRE SUPPRESSION SYSTEMS!” just as the fire suppression systems are set off and the Metatron played by Paulo Fonseca walks on to the set.)
The Metatron:
Wow! At least it’s a dry suppression system; one of us did this and got soaked down to their bones.
TLOTA:
Hi, James Faraci…
The Metatron:
The Last Of The Americans, we know about you above and below, and as I have said recently, I am The Metatron! And God is to charge you with a holy crusade to ensure something happens.
TLOTA:
I think he’s asking the wrong person. I haven’t had any luck in getting anything done.
The Metatron:
Well, it is something simple to help a fellow filmmaker regain the rights of a movie held by a demonic duo who holds it over his head to reclaim his soul.
TLOTA:
I think I know what you’re talking about, and I will review it. Maybe I can use the review to convince the audience to make an online petition to see if he can get it back. But only if people will check it out. So, let me do my review today.
The Metatron:
I am all for itCheck out my review Kevin Smith’s movie that to this day remains both his most controversial and the only one not available for Digital Distribution
Connect The Plots: The Deleted connection of the first three “View Askew”niverse.
January 24, 2024 in Blogs, The Last of the Americans
(Scene begins as a finger taps an app on a watch as it opens a portal the 1994 American Gladiators theme song plays , and it cuts to different images of James as the characters he’s played until it cuts to his face and the credit of “James Faraci” is shown as it cuts to “The Last Of The Americans’” current iteration then slides away to different images of Paulo Fonseca, Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca Yaun, and Nick Yaun as the characters they’ve played until it cut to their faces and the credits of “Paulo and Brenda Fonseca & Rebecca and Nick Yaun” is shown as it then slides away to different images of John Ross and Mike Santos, Andrew Beach, and Ed Champion as the characters they’ve played until it cut to their faces and the credits of “John Ross Santos, Mike Santos, Andrew Beach, Ed Champion” is shown as it then slides away to different images of Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller and Olivia Horvath and the credits of “Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller, Olivia Horvath” is shown as the 0:00-0:21 mark of the theme song plays. Everything becomes a swirl of Reds, Whites, and Blues as the credits “Produced by First Choice Productions. Edited by Eric Kurtzke and Paulo Fonseca. Written and Directed by James Faraci” as the 0:21-0:26 mark of the theme song plays. We then see an outlined image of James as he morphs into “The Last Of The Americans” and lands with half of his team on his right. The other half on his left is on a white background, and the title “THE LAST OF THE AMERICANS” is shown Lazer etched into Titanium as the last six seconds of the American Gladiators 1994 theme song plays. Cut to James sitting in his office)
TLOTA:
I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans, and the views that I’m about to express are that of my own and some of yours, and welcome to another edition of “Connect The Plots” (Cut to a scene of James trying to connect certain things together like the theatrical version of “Halloween: The Curse Of Michael Myers” & “Halloween: H20”, All the movie adaptations of Stephen King, Superman Returns to the original Salkind Superman movies, the first three X-Men movies to the newer ones and the “Wolverine” & “Deadpool” movies before cutting to James strapped down in a straight jacket all the while a kid sings “Connect The Plots La-La-La!” before panning down to see anything that might have a minor connection spell the words “Connect The Plots” before cutting to clips of “CLERKS,” “MALLRATS,” & “Chasing Amy” as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
As Kevin Smith built up his universe, it appears that the only connection that would connect it is that it is set in New Jersey, The Quick Stop, and, of course, Jay and Silent Bob! (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
But while I was working on The Different Cuts Of “CLERKS,” I found a scene that they had made that they couldn’t do but would recreate through the same animation style of that short-lived Animated series based on “CLERKS.” It has a surprising connection that didn’t come to me until then.
Why does a deleted scene connects “CLERKS”, “MALLRATS”, “Chasing Amy” ? Find Out here
