James Faraci The Last Of The Americans

(Scene begins with a smartwatch screen and a finger as it taps the screen and the 1994 American Gladiators plays as the scene cuts to a hand as it taps an app on his phone as it opens a portal.)

(It cuts to James and the characters he’s played until it cut to his face and the credit of “James Faraci” is shown as it cuts to “The Last Of The Americans’” current iteration then slides away to different images of Antoni Matteo Garcia, Paulo Fonseca, Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca Yaun, Nick Yaun and the characters they’ve played until it cut to their faces. The credits of “Antoni Matteo Garcia, Paulo and Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca and Nick Yaun” are shown then slides away to different images of Doug Yaun, Kyra Lee and Crosslyn Castillo and the characters they’ve played, until it cuts to their faces.)

(After that, the credits “Doug Yaun, Kyra Lee and Crosslyn Castillo” are shown, as it then slides away to different images of Andrew Beach Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller and Olivia Horvath. Following this, the credits of “Andrew Beach, Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller, Olivia Horvath” are shown as the 0:00-0:21 mark of the theme song plays.)

(Everything becomes a swirl of reds, whites, and blues, as the credits “Produced by First Choice Productions in association with Manic-Expression.com”; “Executive Producers: James Faraci, Paulo Fonseca, Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca Yaun, Nick Yaun, Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller, Andrew Beach & Olivia Horvath”; “Editing by Eric Kurtzke and James Faraci”; “Written by Antoni Matteo Garcia and James Faraci, and “Directed by James Faraci” are shown, as the 0:21-0:26 mark of the theme song plays.)

(We then see an image of James as he jumps through the portal and lands with half of his team on his right. The other half on his left is on a black background. Finally, the title “THE LAST OF THE AMERICANS” is shown Lazer etched into Titanium as the last six seconds of the American Gladiators 1994 theme song plays.)

(The scene changes to James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans, looking out the front door as he hears tires screeching offscreen.)

TLOTA:
I appreciated his advice, but I need someone to help with my twelfth anniversary. It’s not like an answer is going to fall out of the sky.

(A man screams and lands on James, as we hear two men shout “Ow!” Cut to James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans, and Antoni Matteo Garcia on the horseshoe couch.)

TLOTA:
So you had been there for that long? That explains a lot, anyway, what do you say?

Antoni Matteo Garcia:
I’m in James. (beat) So, what’s the movie you’re going to need help with?

TLOTA:
Batman V Superman: Dawn Of Justice

Antoni Matteo Garcia:
And no way out of this one, isn’t it?

TLOTA:
Afraid not!

Antoni Matteo Garcia & TLOTA (In Unison):
So let’s do this!

For the first time in twelve years, The Last Of The Americans is not alone in his anniversary as he and Antoni Matteo Garcia takes on “Batman V Superman: Dawn Of Justice”

(Scene begins with a smartwatch screen and a finger as it taps the screen and the 1994 American Gladiators plays as the scene cuts to a hand as it taps an app on his phone as it opens a portal, and it cuts to James and the characters he’s played until it cut to his face and the credit of “James Faraci” is shown as it cuts to “The Last Of The Americans’” current iteration then slides away to different images of Paulo Fonseca, Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca Yaun, Nick Yaun and the characters they’ve played until it cut to their faces and the credits of “Paulo and Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca and Nick Yaun.” is shown then slides away to different images of Doug Yaun, Kyra Lee and Crosslyn Castillo and the characters they’ve played until it cuts to their faces and the credits “Doug Yaun, Kyra Lee and Crosslyn Castillo is shown as it then slides away to different images of Andrew Beach Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller and Olivia Horvath and the credits of “Andrew Beach, Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller, Olivia Horvath” is shown as the 0:00-0:21 mark of the theme song plays. Everything becomes a swirl of Reds, Whites, and Blues as the credits “Produced by First Choice Productions in association with Manic-Expression.com” “Executive Producers: James Faraci, Paulo Fonseca, Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca Yaun, Nick Yaun, Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller, Andrew Beach & Olivia Horvath” “Editing by Eric Kurtzke and James Faraci” “Written and Directed by James Faraci” are shown as the 0:21-0:26 mark of the theme song plays. We then see an image of James as he jumps through the portal and lands with half of his team on his right. The other half on his left is on a black background, and the title “THE LAST OF THE AMERICANS” is shown Lazer etched into Titanium as the last six seconds of the American Gladiators 1994 theme song plays. Cut to James in his office)

TLOTA:
I’m James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans, and The Views that I’m about to express are that of my own and some of yours, and you know what screw the haters, Steve Guttenberg is an American Treasure! (Cut to stills of Steve Guttenberg as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA(V.O.):
His bread and butter is that of being a wiseass to many a character who don’t see how it is and he has one of the best reactions to how things are, however many in our field have found him to be considered Bland, Boring and unentertaining, to which I have to say, are you on something? This guy is charming, he has a likability that cannot be replicated, and from what I found out recently, as Los Angeles was burning. Other big names were unenthusiastically crying “Oh No! My Home is being swallowed up by the nasty orange thing, oh, what’s that other people are in there being hurt? My Multibillion-dollar home is now reduced to grey yuckiness!” Guttenberg was on the front line helping people move cars so First Responders can help stop the fire quicker! So yeah, Suck it multi-billion dollar superstars who only cared about their own homes, Steve Guttenberg was actually helping while you were working on a charity event where only a fraction of the money went to the people. The rest went to taxes and paying off the event sponsors! (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
And to celebrate the Greatness of Guttenberg, let’s show him being the hero with Magnum P.I. and Sam Malone from “Cheers” under the direction of Spock from Star Trek! It’ll make sense when we get going!

To Celebrate the greatness of Steve Guttenburg, I am reviewing one of his better movies. Check it out right here

What are my favorite ten moments in the Back To The Future trilogy? Find out Here

The Final Hour: https://youtu.be/X-UOFcXK0GU

(Scene begins with a smartwatch screen and a finger as it taps the screen and the 1994 American Gladiators plays as the scene cuts to a hand as it taps an app on his phone as it opens a portal, and it cuts to James and the characters he’s played until it cut to his face and the credit of “James Faraci” is shown as it cuts to “The Last Of The Americans’” current iteration then slides away to different images of Paulo Fonseca, Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca Yaun, Nick Yaun and the characters they’ve played until it cut to their faces and the credits of “Paulo and Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca and Nick Yaun.” is shown then slides away to different images of Doug Yaun, Kyra Lee and Crosslyn Castillo and the characters they’ve played until it cuts to their faces and the credits “Doug Yaun, Kyra Lee and Crosslyn Castillo is shown as it then slides away to different images of Andrew Beach Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller and Olivia Horvath and the credits of “Andrew Beach, Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller, Olivia Horvath” is shown as the 0:00-0:21 mark of the theme song plays. Everything becomes a swirl of Reds, Whites, and Blues as the credits “Produced by First Choice Productions in association with Manic-Expression.com” “Executive Producers: James Faraci, Paulo Fonseca, Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca Yaun, Nick Yaun, Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller, Andrew Beach & Olivia Horvath” “Editing by Eric Kurtzke and James Faraci” “Written and Directed by James Faraci” are shown as the 0:21-0:26 mark of the theme song plays. We then see an image of James as he jumps through the portal and lands with half of his team on his right. The other half on his left is on a black background, and the title “THE LAST OF THE AMERICANS” is shown Lazer etched into Titanium as the last six seconds of the American Gladiators 1994 theme song plays. Cut to James in his office.)

TLOTA:
I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and welcome to a real edition of “Connect The Plots” (Cut to a scene of James trying to connect certain things together like the theatrical version of “Halloween: The Curse Of Michael Myers” & “Halloween: H20”, All the movie adaptations of Stephen King, Superman Returns to the original Salkind Superman movies, the first three X-Men movies to the newer ones and the “Wolverine” & “Deadpool” movies before cutting to James strapped down in a strait jacket all the while a kid sings “Connect The Plots La-La-La!” before panning down to see anything that might have a minor connection spell the words “Connect The Plots” before cutting to the opening credit and clips from the show “M*A*S*H” as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
“M*A*S*H,” What can be said about it? It remains one of the greatest shows of all time. The show is set during the Korean Conflict at the fictional 4077 M*A*S*H as Captain Benjamin “Hawkeye” Pierce, Captain “Trapper” John McIntyre, Lt. Col. Henry Blake, Maj. Margaret “Hot Lips” Houlihan, Maj. Frank Burns, Corporal Walter Eugene “Radar” O’Reilly, Father John Patrick Francis Mulcahy, Captain B.J. Hunnicutt, Col. Sherman T. Potter, and Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III, as they try to survive the horrors of the war and the problems they have with the war. It lasted about four times as long as the actual war, and the series achieved considerable critical and commercial success, with episodes still being aired in syndication and on streaming platforms. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
But was there any connection to one of the longest-running Superhero Team Franchises ever since The Justice League, The Avengers, and all the other teams? (Cut to the opening of “Mighty Morphin Power Rangers” as “Go Go Power Rangers” plays, then to clips of all the different Power Rangers teams as they fight and clips from “M*A*S*H” as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
That’s right, the Power Rangers! If someone were to tell you that there is a connection between the series, they’d ship you off to the nuthouse faster than how the 4077th shipped “Hawkeye” in the “M*A*S*H” finale. How can that be? Where is the connection?

How does the 4077 connect to the Morphin Grid? Find out here

(The scene begins as we hear the opening of “Last Dance” by Donna Summer play in the foreground as we see Kyra Lee and Crosslyn Castillo getting ready to sing, going “Oooh!” Crosslyn sings the first lyric, then Kyra Lee. Then the two sing in harmony, “I need you… by me, beside me, to guide me, to hold me, to scold me.” Then Doug Yaun as Tom Hardy’s Eddie Brock comes in singing “Because when I’m bad, I’m so, so, bad!” Then we see Eddie Brock transform into “Venom,” voiced by Eric Kurtzke, as “Venom” sings. So let’s dance! The Last Dance!” Crosslyn then sings “Let’s Dance, the last dance!” Kyra Lee then sings “Let’s Dance, this last dance.” Then the three sing “Tonight!” “Venom” then sings the rest of the song, joined by Kyra Lee and Crosslyn Castillo, until the final shout of “Tonight” as Kyra Lee holds the note at the end of the word “Tonight” and glass begins to break. Cut to the lights as the bulbs break, Cut to Venom as he cries in pain before exploding. Cut to Kyra as she still holds the note, and the lenses don’t just break, they shatter into a billion pieces, leaving the audio the only thing available.)

TLOTA (Audio Only):
Don’t Cut! KYRA, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!

Kyra Lee Of The Lacustrian Pod (Audio only):
Well, what did you expect from me, James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans? Asking a mermaid to sing is not bad in human theory but when a moment has one of us holding a note for a while, it has been known by my kind to shatter anything. The bottom of the oceans is littered with boats, bodies, and all sorts of stuff from Mermaids singing. Fun Fact about that “Titanic” event that happened over a century ago. My mom sang the notes that allowed the iceberg to remain strong against that ship.

TLOTA (Audio only):
Oh goodie!

Crosslyn Castillo (Audio only):
JESUS, MARY, JOSEPH, AND HIS TECHNOCOLOR DREAMCOAT! SHE DISINTEGRATED VENOM AND EDDIE BROCK!

Steve Kidd (Audio only):
Hey James, I have one question. WHO THE HELL HELD THAT NOTE LONG ENOUGH TO SHATTER THE GLASS ON MY RIDE’S CAR?!

TLOTA (Audio only):
Steve Kidd, meet the two new team members. Crosslyn, I’m sure Rowdy told you what happened.

Steve Kidd (Audio only):
Oh yeah, you were possessed by a mermaid’s spirit, and then you and two others in the same situation nearly killed my friend!

TLOTA (Audio only):
And this is…

Kyra Lee of The Lacustrian Pod (Audio only):
I am Kyra Lee of The Lacustrian pod. I am a recompense for what happened to James and his former other half.

Steve Kidd (Audio only):
I’m sorry, but what?

After spending most of the month recuperating, The Last Of The Americans returns with his review of “Venom: The Last Dance” Find out what happens here

(Scene begins with a smartwatch screen and a finger as it taps the screen and the 1994 American Gladiators plays as the scene cuts to a hand as it taps an app on his phone as it opens a portal, and it cuts to James and the characters he’s played until it cut to his face and the credit of “James Faraci” is shown as it cuts to “The Last Of The Americans’” current iteration then slides away to different images of Paulo Fonseca, Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca Yaun, Nick Yaun and Doug Yaun and the characters they’ve played until it cut to their faces and the credits of “Paulo and Brenda Fonseca & Doug Yaun, Rebecca and Nick Yaun” is shown as it then slides away to different images of Andrew Beach Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller and Olivia Horvath and the credits of “Andrew Beach, Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller, Olivia Horvath” is shown as the 0:00-0:21 mark of the theme song plays. Everything becomes a swirl of Reds, Whites, and Blues as the credits “Produced by First Choice Productions in association with Manic-Expression.com” “Executive Producers: James Faraci, Paulo Fonseca, Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca Yaun, Nick Yaun, Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller, Andrew Beach & Olivia Horvath” “Editing by Eric Kurtzke and James Faraci” “Written and Directed by James Faraci” are shown as the 0:21-0:26 mark of the theme song plays. We then see an image of James as he jumps through the portal and lands with half of his team on his right. The other half on his left is on a black background, and the title “THE LAST OF THE AMERICANS” is shown Lazer etched into Titanium as the last six seconds of the American Gladiators 1994 theme song plays. Cut to James in his office)

TLOTA:
I’m James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans, and The Views that I’m about to express are that of my own and some of yours, and welcome once again to “In Defense Of…(Show pics of maligned pieces of pop culture while the fanfare from the Olympics plays and James comes up after Vanilla Ice slides back and his right-hand thumbs up and the words “In Defense Of…” Cut to James Physically) And a Connect The Plots (Of Sorts). (Cut to a scene of James trying to connect certain things together like the theatrical version of “Halloween: The Curse Of Michael Myers” & “Halloween: H20”, All the movie adaptations of Stephen King, Superman Returns to the original Salkind Superman movies, the first three X-Men movies to the newer ones and the “Wolverine” & “Deadpool” movies before cutting to James strapped down in a straight jacket all the while a kid sings “Connect The Plots La-La-La!” before panning down to see anything that might have a minor connection spell the words “Connect The Plots (Sort of)” and a another set of words in smaller text “(We will have a real “Connect The Plots” later this year.)” before cutting to clips of “X-Men Origins: Wolverine” as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Sometimes, some things are not going to work out for the best; case in point, “X-Men Origins: Wolverine.” From what has been discovered, this had a lot of trouble going into the production and between the Writer’s Strike of 2008, causing a last-minute rewrite. This leaked workprint was downloaded by a minimum of fifteen MILLION people. Then we have the minimum amount of time with its cast, a hostile critical reception, and the box office of its predecessor “X-Men: The Last Stand” underperforming compared to “X2: X-Men United.” The audience let Fox know that this movie was a sitting duck. So, what did it do right? For starters, it did give us our first live-action attempt to tell Wolverine’s backstory. Hugh Jackman was good at continuing his role as the Clawed Canadian. We saw what Wade Wilson played by Ryan Reynolds, would evolve to as he fought to get the Deadpool Character right. Liev Schreiber was more like Sabretooth in his personality than Tyler Mane. Yeah, Tyler looked it but didn’t embody the other aspects of Sabretooth. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
As for what this movie did wrong, so many have gone into such detail I can save my breath. But let’s play Devil’s Advocate. What would have happened if the movie had succeeded in the way everyone wanted it to?

Well, have I opened a can of worms today! Find out if I can defend then connect this movie to the other X-Men movies

(The scene picks up with James, Team TLOTA, David Yost, Rowdy, Linkara and ERod The Blockbuster Buster getting ready to fight the possessed Hunter Dino, Crosslyn Castillo and Ellie Jimenez.)

TLOTA (to Rowdy in a sotto voice):
Are they coming?

Rowdy (to James in a sotto voice):
We just hold them just long enough until they get here.

TLOTA (to Rowdy in a sotto voice):
How long will that be?

Rowdy (to James in a sotto voice):
A while

TLOTA:
Perfect!

ERod The Blockbuster Buster:
Enough talk let’s kick some ass!

Linkara:
I’m with you on that! (“Bye, Bye, Bye” by NSYNC plays in the foreground as it cuts to Ellie Jimenez prepares a fire-based energy ball, Crosslyn Castillo prepares a lightning-based energy ball as Hunter Dino unveils her “Cosmic Fury” morpher. The scene cuts to James and everyone else.)

Doug Yaun:
Is that what I think it is? (The music pauses at the ten second mark)

David Yost:
A “Cosmic Fury” Morpher

Linkara:
Is it active?

David Yost:
Affirmative

TLOTA:
We’ll we’re boned! (Cut to Hunter, Crosslyn and Ellie)

Hunter “Aquafina” Dino:
Cosmic Fury Orb, Link to Morphin Grid! (Hunter morphs as the music starts up again and drops the hammer sending everyone flying! Hunter grabs James in mid-launch and slams him to the ground. Crosslyn throws a kick at Rowdy as he hits James’ team like a bowling ball to a set of bowling pins and Ellie grabs ERod and swings him like a hammer and hits Linkara as a credit says “First Choice Productions in association with Manic-Expression.com presents” made from splattered blood. Cut to Hunter grabbing James Faraci by his shirt and her weapon making contact on James’ foot as the names “James Faraci, Paulo Fonseca, Brenda Fonseca, Nick Yaun and Rebecca Yaun” comes out in the blood spurts. Cut to Paulo Fonseca, Brenda Fonseca, Nick Yaun and Rebecca Yaun as the electric shocks them and the names “Doug Yaun, Renee Miller, Andrew Beach & Olivia Horvath.” Cut to Hunter Dino, Crosslyn Castillo and Ellie Jimenez as they do the *NSYNC “Bye, Bye, Bye” dance sequence done in “Deadpool and Wolverine.” Cut to Hunter tossing David into the camera as the glass shatters and the shatters spell “David Yost.” Cut to Crosslyn Castillo as ERod’s Hammer is shoved where the sun doesn’t shine and the poop coming out spells out “Eric ERod the Blockbuster Buster Rodriguez and Lewis Linkara Lovhaug.” Cut to Ellie Jimenez as she reverses the blast from Linkara’s Magic Gun and the shot burns the words “Hunter Dino, Crosslyn Castillo and Ellie Jimenez” on Linkara’s Chest. Cut to James as he stands up only to have Crosslyn and Ellie drop his team and Rowdy on to James like windshield wipers as blood spells out “Produced by First Choice Productions in association with Manic-Expression.com” Cut to Hunter Dino, Crosslyn Castillo and Ellie Jimenez as they do the *NSYNC “Bye, Bye, Bye” dance sequence done in “Deadpool and Wolverine.” Cut to David Yost as he tries to come up from behind as he’s tossed onto James then launched into the raptors of the building. James is soon spun around until he’s launched into the sky screaming as J.C. sings “BYE-BYE! BAABY!” in “Bye, Bye, Bye” and the words “Executive Producers: James Faraci, Paulo Fonseca, Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca Yaun, Nick Yaun, Renee Miller, Eric Kurtzke, Andrew Beach, Olivia Horvath and Doug Yaun” only for James to be reeled in and be given a clothesline to the back of the neck and is spun around and slammed into the floor as Hunter Dino, Crosslyn Castillo and Ellie Jimenez as they do the *NSYNC “Bye, Bye, Bye” dance sequence done in “Deadpool and Wolverine.” while feet are being landed on James eventually kicking him out of the way and as James stands up the three turn to see James starting to stand up only for the three to come up to James and the three power up their weapons and strike as the words “Directed by James Faraci” are shown as the song comes to an end and James collapses from the pain and exhaustion.)

Hunter “Aquafina” Dino:
I love the smell of a human beaten to a bloody pulp.

Ellie “Oceana” Jimenez:
It smells like a good thing to happen to this planet.

Crosslyn “Marintina” Castillo:
Let’s get what we need and then we can return to… (A voice in the background shouts “Not so fast there Shiksas!” The camera turns to the Religious Sect of Power Rangers Fandom)

Rabbi Skullovitch:
You’re acting uneven right now even for you!

Sister Kimberly:
We are here to save the trapped souls inside of those bodies!

Father Bulkmeier:
In the name of the Saban, the Disney and the Holy Hasbro, we shall exorcise thee! (Hunter, Ellie and Crosslyn prepare to attack the religious sect when they three summon the power of the Kalish-plosion which render the three unconscious. Cut to the religious sect.)

Sister Kimberly:
Good work, Oh my, James! (Cut to James as he gets up on his feet)

Rabbi Skullovitch:
Boychik! You are incredible, a beating like that would have left me pershnickerd! (David Yost screams as he lands in front of the religious sect.) OY GEVALT! IT IS THE LEARNED ONE! He looks in even worse shape than the schmendrick! (Cut to David Yost)

David Yost:
Tell me about it! (Cut to the Religious Sect)

Father Bulkmeier:
We need now to prepare for the exorcism. (Cut to David Yost)

David Yost:
Excuse me? (Cut to the Religious Sect)

Rabbi Skullovitch:
Of the three, not of you, all religious sects of the Power Ranger Fandom have accepted the LGBTQIA+ as Pareve! (Cut to David Yost)

David Yost:
Well, that’s good to hear. In the meantime, James what are you doing? (Cut to James Faraci as he wipes the blood off his face.)

TLOTA:
What do you think?After getting the crap beaten out of him, The Last Of The Americans still has the energy to Review Deadpool and Wolverine?! Find out what happens now

TLOTA:
ABANDON THE REVIEW NOW! IT’S NOW OFFICIALLY THE HINDENBERG! I’M GONE! (James walks away and cuts to the front door as James opens the door. Cut to a furious female at least several miles away. Cut to James, now even more scared than looking at “He Who Remains,” as James shuts, locks the door, and then runs back to his office) So, why did I react that way?What has me so scared about the Disney+ Series “Loki” that it has me running away from someone who is going to kick my ass even harder? Discover what it is, Here!

(The scene begins with Deadpool’s gloved hands and many photos leading up to what is happening now.)

Deadpool (Audio only):
So, let’s recap, this is James, He calls himself “The Last Of The Americans,” he’s an internet reviewer and in between reviewing every movie and show under the fucking sun, he has tried to balance that shit out with romantic interests. One came really close to providing that balance, but fate said, “Fuck You, you don’t deserve it. What you do deserve is to be made to suffer the splooge slings and fucking flaming arrows of shit life tosses your way,” and James in the aftermath has lost a lot of faith in things working out in his favor. Now he also is paying for the sins of falling in love with a woman and wanting to marry her, and those that took her from him are seeking his blood for payback for shit they did to him and blame him for! Ain’t that a motherfucker! Now we’re all caught up, let’s get back to our current shitstorm already in process!

(Cut to James as he is thrown through the last picture as the song “Ashes” by Celine Dion is played in the foreground as James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans, falls in the center of a bed of seaweed as the words “First Choice Productions in association with Manic-Expression.com presents…” Cut to a moment of James being flung forward past repeated images of Hunter Dino and Crosslyn Castillo with energy shooting out of their eyes directed at James as a credit says, “Starring: Wait a second, Two different cuts of the same movie?” Cut to a series of lightning bolts striking at James and a credit saying, “Edited by: WHO IN THE HELL WANTED TWO CUTS OF THE SAME MOVIE?” Cut to a scene of James being attacked as a credit says, “Produced by: SERIOUSLY?! HOW MANY DIFFERENT CUTS OF A MOVIE EXIST?!” Cut to a moment of James looking a lot worse for wear as he is covered in water, then to a scene of an army of Hunter Dinos and Crosslyn Castillos running after James Faraci The Last Of The Americans. A credit saying, “Written and Directed by: This guy who sat through two cuts of the same movie, he’s either smart or he really likes pain and sitting through crap like this!” as James is grabbed and thrown through copies of movie posters as he lands through them and lands outside of the area that Hunter Dino is captured.)

Hunter “Aquafina” Dino:
What’s the matter, getting your human ass handed to you on a bed of kelp? (Cut to James as he pops his arm back into place.)

TLOTA:
Just another day here. (James dodges a kick as it cuts to Hunter Dino still entrapped in her force-fielded area)

Hunter “Aquafina” Dino:
If there is any positive to being a human, are these leg things good for swift attacks! (James grabs one leg, kicking him then the other as Crosslyn “Marintina” Castillo hurls James with a hurricarana, and James lands on the team, but the momentum tosses Crosslyn “Marintina” Castillo into the same area Hunter “Aquafina” Dino is trapped in. Crosslyn tries to break it with her fist, but the reverberations cause the two to groan in pain from the sounds inside the force field area.)

Crosslyn “Marintina” Castillo:
That rattled me down to my… toes.

Hunter “Aquafina” Dino:
Yeah, he fused magisense with science.

Crosslyn “Marintina” Castillo:
Wait, she will come and help us finish him off! (Cut to James)

TLOTA:
And if she does, she’ll join you. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got work to do.

Crosslyn Castillo continues the beatdown while The Last Of The Americans tries to review The Different Cuts of Deadpool 2

(The scene begins with a black background and the words “The Last Of The Americans” in white as it cuts to James sitting in his office.)

TLOTA:
I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans, now to clarify what it is that I said as to what I am reviewing and not reviewing next isn’t always easy. It depends on what I schedule and what it is that I can get as a request. If someone were to ask me to review “Doctor Strange and The Multiverse of Madness,” or whatever it is they want me to review then yes, I will review it. Otherwise, I do schedule a lot of what it is I do. Now onto the business of the next movie I am reviewing. (Cut to the X-Men/Wolverine movies as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
For many, the “X-Men” movies that started 25 years ago quickly played itself out by 2006 when the third movie tried to see if Hugh Jackman could hold a movie franchise of his own or star in a Wolverine movie franchise. However, the first try went about as well as a lead balloon, but I will try, and I mean TRY, to defend that movie in March. Then came James Mangold as “The Wolverine” was a lot better than “X-Men Origins: Wolverine,” but they needed a push to get something big to happen and thanks to a couple of movies that came out in the same period of 2014’s “X-Men: Days Of Future Past” and of course “Deadpool,” it gave 20th Century Fox the courage to try and do an R-rated “Wolverine” movie as Hugh Jackman decided that it should be his last ride as the Clawed Canadian Counter-hero. (Cut to James in his office)

TLOTA:
And what a last ride it was!

The Last Of The Americans rides with James “Wolverine” Logan on his last journey!

(Scene begins as “Angel of the Morning” by Juice Newton plays in the foreground as the camera pulls back to see James Faraci The Last Of The Americans, getting thrown up into the sky as a group of letters spell out “First Choice Productions in association with Manic-Expression.com presents” and James gets thrown through the letters and the camera moves to see Paulo and Brenda Fonseca back-to-back with a shocked look on their faces and the words “A worthless idiot’s review on Three “Deadpool” movies (One review being a “Different Cuts” of “Deadpool 2”), One review of the movie “Logan,” One review of the series “LOKI,” and some type of defense of “X-Men Origins: Wolverine” in a three month period.” The Camera moves to see James Faraci having landed on Doug Yaun, Nick, and Rebecca Yaun as the words “Starring, Written and Directed by The Worthless Idiot” land on James. The camera moves to Hunter Dino as she holds up the words, “A former Power Ranger possessed by the pissed-off spirit of a former mermaid.” The camera moves to Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller, Olivia Horvath, and Andrew Beach having a meeting of the minds and the words under them saying, “Four of the Nine members of the cast and crew under James’ employment (The other five you saw as they were getting the crap flung out of them!).” The Camera then pans to Rowdy, screaming silently as he floats in the air and lands on the words “James’ longtime friend who will suffer James’ idiocy!” The Camera moves to see Hunter Dino’s body slam James, Paulo, Brenda, Rebecca, Nick, Eric, Doug, Olivia, Renee, and Andrew, and the words “Produced & Executively Produced by Failures at Life and entertaining people.” The camera moves again to see James getting tossed onto the concrete floor as we see the words “Written and Directed by as mentioned above, what do people not read anymore?” land on James’ body as a pool of blood is shown to spell out “The Last Of The Americans then cuts to James being grabbed by the possessed Hunter Dino)

Hunter Dino:
I will reclaim my tail and full powers even if I must shed the blood of everyone in your life!

So this is how 2025 is starting for The Last Of The Americans? With Hunter Dino kicking my ass while I review the Deadpool movie!