(The scene begins with Deadpool’s gloved hands and many photos leading up to what is happening now.)
Deadpool (Audio only):
So, let’s recap, this is James, He calls himself “The Last Of The Americans,” he’s an internet reviewer and in between reviewing every movie and show under the fucking sun, he has tried to balance that shit out with romantic interests. One came really close to providing that balance, but fate said, “Fuck You, you don’t deserve it. What you do deserve is to be made to suffer the splooge slings and fucking flaming arrows of shit life tosses your way,” and James in the aftermath has lost a lot of faith in things working out in his favor. Now he also is paying for the sins of falling in love with a woman and wanting to marry her, and those that took her from him are seeking his blood for payback for shit they did to him and blame him for! Ain’t that a motherfucker! Now we’re all caught up, let’s get back to our current shitstorm already in process!
(Cut to James as he is thrown through the last picture as the song “Ashes” by Celine Dion is played in the foreground as James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans, falls in the center of a bed of seaweed as the words “First Choice Productions in association with Manic-Expression.com presents…” Cut to a moment of James being flung forward past repeated images of Hunter Dino and Crosslyn Castillo with energy shooting out of their eyes directed at James as a credit says, “Starring: Wait a second, Two different cuts of the same movie?” Cut to a series of lightning bolts striking at James and a credit saying, “Edited by: WHO IN THE HELL WANTED TWO CUTS OF THE SAME MOVIE?” Cut to a scene of James being attacked as a credit says, “Produced by: SERIOUSLY?! HOW MANY DIFFERENT CUTS OF A MOVIE EXIST?!” Cut to a moment of James looking a lot worse for wear as he is covered in water, then to a scene of an army of Hunter Dinos and Crosslyn Castillos running after James Faraci The Last Of The Americans. A credit saying, “Written and Directed by: This guy who sat through two cuts of the same movie, he’s either smart or he really likes pain and sitting through crap like this!” as James is grabbed and thrown through copies of movie posters as he lands through them and lands outside of the area that Hunter Dino is captured.)
Hunter “Aquafina” Dino:
What’s the matter, getting your human ass handed to you on a bed of kelp? (Cut to James as he pops his arm back into place.)
TLOTA:
Just another day here. (James dodges a kick as it cuts to Hunter Dino still entrapped in her force-fielded area)
Hunter “Aquafina” Dino:
If there is any positive to being a human, are these leg things good for swift attacks! (James grabs one leg, kicking him then the other as Crosslyn “Marintina” Castillo hurls James with a hurricarana, and James lands on the team, but the momentum tosses Crosslyn “Marintina” Castillo into the same area Hunter “Aquafina” Dino is trapped in. Crosslyn tries to break it with her fist, but the reverberations cause the two to groan in pain from the sounds inside the force field area.)
Crosslyn “Marintina” Castillo:
That rattled me down to my… toes.
Hunter “Aquafina” Dino:
Yeah, he fused magisense with science.
Crosslyn “Marintina” Castillo:
Wait, she will come and help us finish him off! (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
And if she does, she’ll join you. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got work to do.
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