Fusionater

Hello and welcome to average internet Reviews, I’m Fusionater, and I’m gonna do something a little different today(shock and awe!), I am going to make a list of the greatest Live action tv shows ever. But unlike my normal lists, next to no research shall go into this and no long thought will go into my choices, why am I doing this you may ask? For the hell of it, I kind of want to see how it turns out.

Number 9: Lois and Clark

What would I call this show? Good ol campy fun, something that I find doesn’t work to often, sure, it never went to campy, maintaining serious plots, interesting characters, and the like, in my opinion, this is just an all around good superman show.

Read the rest of this entry →

Hello everyone! Welcome to Average Internet Reviews! Where nothing is abnormal! It’s time to talk about baddies! Not the big baddies mind you, but the mini baddies! Those hoards of mindless monsters that do nothing but follow said big baddie. More specifically, I’m gonna talk about the ones from Zelda, and after looking through EVERY Zelda enemy, I’m ready. only 1 rule, no bosses, so, without further ado, let’s begin.

Number 9. Twilight Assassins from the beta for Twilight Princess

Now, I’m just gonna place this at the number 9 spot for 1 reason, a badass name. that’s it. I do this because this enemy is never actually faught in the game, only in the beta of Twilight princess….moving on…

Number 8. Arwings from Ocarina of Time/Starfox

Some of the people out there who know what this shit is are spitting out their morning coffee and than saying WTF!?!?!? While I can tell you I am not giving you shit, this is the real deal. You see, people that do not know, Arwings are the main form of transportation in Star Fox, another Nintendo game, that has absolutely nothing to do with Zelda. Whether it was an easter egg or just a way to test game mechanics, we may never know, but what’s imprtant for you to know is that this enemy can only be found through a gameshark code, how unfortunate. Now onto villains that were actually supposed to be in the games!

Number 7. Wallmasters

Fuck Wallmasters fuck fuck doublefuck loathsome fuck. Yup, one of the most loathed enemies ever, the wallmasters. People hate this thing with a passion. In one fell swoop it can reduce all your progress to a fat load of nothing. They do this by dropping from the ceiling(I don’t know why they aren’t call ceiling masters, but whatever), grabbing link, and dragging him back to the beginning of whatever dungeon your in at the time. Fuck. Thankfully, these guys are fairly easy to avoid once you stop being scared shitless of them. But that does take a little while.

Number 6. Skull Kids

These guys only barely qualify as enemies as far as I’m concerned, you see, for the most part, they’re pretty harmless, they will only attack you if your an adult…and it’s a pretty pathetic attack at that, seeing as they run away after the first shot. The skull kid race, is a pretty interesting one, while not much is known about them, it is proposed(in-game) that when a child wanders into the woods and gets lost, they slowly turn into a skull kid. Creepy. They also have quite the resume for diversity, most skull kids are simple funlovers who don’t do anything inherantly evil, where as one skull kid serves as a mini boss(Though he only does so to help Link progress), and another who serves as the main antagonist of the fucking game! Didn’t see that one coming.

Number 5. Guardians from Skyward Sword

Fear them. Fear them now. They can’t be killed, they kill you with but a touch, they actively pursue you and always know where you are, they are faster than you, You have no weapons or items when you meet them, and they have help. I don’t really need to go into much more details here. Fear them.

Number 4. Remlits from Skyward Sword

DAAW! There so lovable! Come here little lemur thingy! I wanna give you a big hug and take you home with me…gah! Don’t hurt me little lemur thingy! You see, Remlits are quite possibly one of the cutest animals in fiction, you will just adore these things…during the day…at night, you’le still adore them, but they will try and kill you in the process.  WHat’s worse, when you first see them at night, you walk up to them expecting the cutest face in all reality than…evil face! Scary as shit. And even when they are evil…you don’t wanna hurt them…and if you do, they will run away and start to cry, effectively making you feel bad about what you’ve done. Video game characters should not be able to do that…*sniffle*

Number 3. Deku Scrubs

Having speant some time as a Deku scrub in Majoras mask lets you know that their lives SUCK. I mean, no wonder they shoot at link with their weird deadly bubble attack whenever he get’s close! Humans are total asses to these guys! What’s different about these enemies, at least as far as Majora’s mask is concerned, is they actually seem to have some form of society going for them, from merchents to business scrubs to a king! You don’t see no Wallmaster king! …though I’m kind of glad.

Number 2. Poes

They’re ghosts. They are just ghosts. They’re appearance ranges from hooded figure to the fucking grim reaper between game, but for some reason, people have a serious thing for there souls, in ocarina of time, one guy will pay big bucks for a bottled poe soul, in twilight princess, your forced to rip the soul out of it’s body with you bear wolf teath(I don’t really need to explain why you are a wolf right now for you to get this). Other than that,I don’t really know why I like them, I just do.

Number 1. Puppets from Twilight Princess

This is a bit of an odd choice for me to choose as it is a choice that I have chosen because this choice to me was a one that I thought was fun and therefor I chose it. Phew, anyway, yes, these guys are a strange choice, they only appear twice in twilight princess, and no more after that, they are the minions of the skull kid mini boss, and they’re fucking puppets! Creepy! What do they do? hey circle you, and attack! I know, I now, weak, I told you this was a weird choice…Happy Zelda everyone, can’t wait to see you around the blog!

(Special thanks to Ratin8tor for coining the idea)

Hello 6 people that read my work…7 maybe..:D, I am here to talk about something that most of us know about, with a list designed for people who do not know about it!!! Ah the hell with this intro, this is the top 9 reasons to play a Zelda Game!!!

Now, in a VERY recent forum topic, I discovered that someone had actually not played a Zelda game, shocked as I was, I kept my cool, and decided not to rage, the person I’m sure none of you have figured out the name of suggested something to help those who haven’t played understand more. i declined. The person than suggested I give reasons why people should play a Zelda game, I agreed with this. So here we are. Now, I’m not gonna bullshit you with numbers about great gameplay, or a truly breathtaking experience, no, you know that, everyone and their mother knows that whether or not they’ve played. So, I am going to try and give you some semi-unique reasons why playing these games would be a great decision on your part.

Number 9. Almost everyone else has already played them

The Legend of Zelda is big, so big that it is one of the most beloved things ever. So the number of people that have played it is also big, very big, so why not you to? I’m not saying that someone like you should become, say, a sheep, it’s more about not being left out of a popular subject, if a couple of Gamers that you know get into a conversation, and it winds up at The Legend of Zelda, you are royally screwed, you don’t know jack shit about something that is practically a religion for some people. I suppose this entry is more about just keeping yourself informed, so  you don’t look like a total dumbass.

Number 8. Self empowerment

Who doesn’t love killing things in video games? No one, right? There are just so many ways you can do it that it could be a goddamned mathematical process. Well, Zelda games offer that and a bit of fun as well, later on of course. In most Zelda games, you will collect many items throughout the game that help you a little bit, but you get your ass kicked plenty(They are difficult games, make no mistake), but, when you have collected most or all of the weapons or items from later in the game, some of them are just damn fun to use, take the double clawshot from twilight princess for example,

When I got this, I went to own on enemies, I would first grapple onto a wall, and shoot unsuspecting monsters below with the other clawshot! It was like mayhemvana

or how about the Magical Rod from the original game?

When you got this baby, your sword wasn’t worth jack shit anymore, this baby did more damage, and was a lazer that shot across the room! You have all the enemies coming at you, and you would just pick up your magic stick, and bibbidy-bobbidy-blast There asses back to hell. Good times.

Number 7. The Chicken mob

In most Zelda games after a Link to the past, there were chickens(called something else in game, but I don’t care, it’s hard to spell), lots of chickens. Now, if your a purebread asshole like 90% of those that bought these games were,,,well…they learned there lesson…

Yes, whenever you attack one of these things just a little bit to much, it calls it’s friends, where the fuck did they all come from!?!?!?!? I mean, seriously, these chickens gotta be in cahoots or something, they just gotta be. The games are worth playing to meet this extremely odd flock.

Number 6. If you like getting scared, get a load of this shit.

wait for it…

aww, but ti’s just the moon! Pretty little thing…yeah, I suppose, you wanna know what it looks like up close, you sure?

Some of the pretentious pricks out there are going, “you dumbass! That’s not scary!” Maybe not now, but throughout all of Majora’s Mask, that moon gets closer, and closer, and closer, and closer, and closer, and closer, and closer, and closer, and closer, and closer, until,

by by world.

Number 5. The Happy Mask Salesman

In Ocarina of time, this chipper little salesguy here set you up with a mask related sidequest, nothing much else, but, in the second game, the game that’s ALL ABOUT MASKS, he played a bit of a bigger role, being partially responsible for the main plot of the game. What’s interesting about this guy is that he always has something to say about every mask, but, if you don’t bring him Majora’s Mask and save the world…well…he needs a new name than.

…yeah…he gets pissed…reasonably scary moment when he does.

Number 4. Bombs

I like explosions

I like making explosions, not real ones mind you, but these fun ones in Zelda!

There are all kinds of bombs, there’s the regular kind, the kind that work in water, the kind that run across the room before blowing up, the kind that you stick on the end of your arrows, hell, there’s even a mask that blows up when you put it on(wounding but not killing you), hell, they even grow bombs out of the goddamned ground!!! Next thing you know, there will be a living bomb that walks up to you and blows up!

Number 3. Getting shot out of a cannon that walks

Link gets shot out of a fucking cannon that walks, moving on.

Number 2. Why Not?

I see absolutely no good reason to not at least try these games if you play games. Everyone loves them, that should at least deserve a look see from those with the skeptic eyes running on overload.

Number 1. So you can understand the rest of my Zelda articles

I’m gonna be doing some more Zelda stuff pretty soon, so, it would be nice if my readers knew the subject matter. 😀

Hello Fellow Expressionists, I’ve decided to break my normal stride and do something a little different today. The other day, I was clicking my way through Cracked.com as I normally do when I’m looking for written comedy, when I came across this article, if you clicked the link, you’le know that it is the 5 Celebrities Who Got Famous By Being Obsesses Fanboys. Among these 5 were The girl who plays Luna Lovegood in the films, and also the 10th Doctor for Doctor who. So yeah, good for them and all, but what does it mean? Now, one could argue that while these people were fanatics, it went beyond that, these people were completely insane, to the point where I think I would be somewhat terrified to be in a room with them. Of course, you could argue that these were just one off flukes that the universe likes to throw at us to keep us on our toes. Or maybe the universe was just trying to provide material for Cracked.

I am totally not stealing their writing style write now.

Either way. But what if it wasn’t a fluke? Is there really some kind of advantage to going totally fucking insane over one particular thing and relishing in your own insanity? Logic would say you would get shot based on that description, but screw logic, that stuff doesn’t really help in the long run anyway. Hows for an example. Let’s say I take a squirrel,

and give it a nut every day for a year, than suddenly stop giving him the nuts, and let him starve for a couple days. One day, instead of letting him rot there probably moaning about the nut I’ll never give him, I hand it to another Squirrel,

The Way he’s twirling his fingers, you can just tell this was his plan all along.

what do you think Squirrel #1 would do? If you guessed that he would walk away, you need to get your thinker checked. He’s probably going to try and get the nut from Squirell #2, and he’s probably gonna beat the living shit out of poor #2 to get it. The same can be applied to a Fanboy/girl, you show them something they love, say, Avatar the Last Airbender, they love it for a while and get their fill of it. And one day, without warning, they cancel it(Thank god that didn’t actually happen), they leave the fans to moan for a while, than, 1 day, they hand the rights to Michael Bay.

What is up with that smile anyway?

When this happens, things would erupt. I full on believe that the most “Passionate” fans out there would actually try to assassinate Bay. If this kind of thing went on, you can bet some sort of agreement would be made to put Avatar back on air(Probably a few arrests to). But the result of the scenario is the same, the fanatics got what they wanted by going insane. Of course I could just be some nut-job ranting on the internet, but than again, maybe not. And hell, if those fans can pull it off, than this is a totally reasonable lifetime goal.

  It is my destiny

HELLO EVERYONE!!! WELCOME TO AVERAGE INTERNET REVIEWS!!! IT’S FINALLY TIME!!! I can finally break my streak of 4 collabs in a row(with the exception of my april fools article!!! In doing this, I will FINALLY review, Phineas and Ferb Across the 2nd Dimension!!! Yes Yes yes yes yes!!! To start…

*Zap*

Fusionater: Huh?

*pbmiranda steps out of a teleporter looking pissed*

pbmiranda: Fusionater, We still have to review the first Pokemon movie!!! What’s taking you so long!?

Fusionater: I, uh…

*pbmiranda grabs Fusionater and drags him to a Pokemon themed room*

Read the rest of this entry →

*In an undisclosed location somewhere in the depths of silicon valley, Darkfan21 and Fusionater are busy building a device that will allow them to take over the world, thus they have no time to write a blog right now*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZTpXh33Mbeg

Darkfan21: You have commercials in your blogs now?

Fusionater: Yeah, all the big shots are doing it.

Darkfan21: Seems odd but whatever! By the way, this inator is coming along nicely but you’ve yet to tell me what it does and I must say your evil wardrobe is a nice touch with all of the black and red but don’t you think the platform shoes are a bit of overkill?

Fusionater: Meh, I found these in the closet and I thought they wold work well, least I’m not sporting the evil mustache.

Darkfan21: Very true, the evil mustache is cliche.. Hey, wait a minute I have an evil mustache!

Fusionater: Moving on! Ok, it’s gonna take about 12 hours for the device to charge to full power, what should we do in the mean time?

Darkfan21: Well, we could always trash something. Weren’t you going to review that horrid Phineas and Ferb movie?

Fusionater: Yeah, I was, but how to bash it? Hm… I think I know how to start this thing off!

Welcome to Evil Internet reviews everybody! Ive got the brilliant Darkfan21 with me to review this horrid Phineas and ferb film with me!!!

Darkfan21: Didn’t you praise Phineas and Ferb in your last 2 lists with Jason and Lindgren?

Fusionater: uh…no….

Animation Fail

I’m introducing a brand new category! This is for when animation presents us with such a horrible mistake that it absolutely has to be addressed! Maybe someone’s eye will disappear! Or perhaps there hair will breifly become detached from their head! It’s these moments that make this category possible. I bet your gonna love talking about the failure of others Darkfan!

Darkfan21: Indeed there is only one other film that I can think of that would fit into this category of Animation Fail. Matter of Fact, didn’t your old freind, Moviefan12 dedicate an entire week to that putird film? If you haven’t figured it out by now, I’m of course talking about the heinous Dumbo!

Fusionater: brrrr! Lets get started!

Darkfan21: Where Shall we start? Why not with the characters?

Fusionater: I know where to start! With the most glaring and obvious animation flaw in the entire film!

Perry the Platyborg

All right, it’s bad-ass enough…whats the problem you may ask?

This is an image of him later in the film.

Um…what happened to his robot hand? All right, no big deal I suppose, it’s not like they screwed up again…

Really? His arms not robotic now? were the animators even paying attention to the character designs? I mean seriously, you think they would have put more effort into what would have been their first film, your thoughts Darkfan?

Darkfan21: Cyborg animals, take note of this because it could help us in taking over the world. Anyways, I’m not sure I’d call this the worst part. I mean the design is rather sleek but it could more meancing with perhaps two flames on the sides.

Fusionater: Hm, flames, I’ll have to remember that. Here’s some more, less glaring flaws.

Promotional images

PI #1

They made Phineas’ hair green…in the promotional image, how do you screw up the promotion image?

PI #2

Not really that important, but the alternate dimension version of Phineas and Ferb are supposed to have greyer skin do to less exposure to sunlight.

And many more.

The characters

The characters, oh the characters, where do I begin?

Phineas Flynn

Ok, so this boy can just do whatever he wants and always gets away with it? Ah, a villains dream! But this is a goody two shoed know nothing with little regard for the actual intelligence it would take to perform the feats he accomplishes!!!

Ferb Fletcher

WHY WON”T YOU SPEAK!!! I CAN’T MAKE FUN OF YOU IF YOU DON’T GET A FEW LINES IN OCCASIONALLY!!!

Candace Flynn

Ah, now there’s a character, someone villainous, someone decietful, someone full of hatred!!! You just got to love the evil in her. But seriously, her middle name is Gertrude? HAH! Pathetic!

Perry The Platypus/Agent P

WHY WON’T THESE CHARACTERS SPEAK!!! I MEAN, I know it could be said that you can get a lot across with body language, but thats bull! You need to speak!!!

Heinz Dooofenshmirtz

MORON!!! MORON!!! MORON MORON MORON MORON MORON!!! Ive said my piece.

Alternate characters

Oh I see!!! They were so unoriginal that they couldn’t even come up with new characters for their first film!!! Thats why they pulled all this alternate dimension bull shit!!!

Darkfan21: I think you explained these characters well but I must ask you if hate Phineas so much, why is he your avatar on the internet? Hmm. As for Doof, I agree that he is a complete and utter moron and a disgrace to evil. He couldn’t even take me down in a fight because he is so stupid.

Fusionater: I um…I’m masquerading as a good guy! Yeah that’s it!

Anyway…um..you ready to do the music?

Darkfan21: Of course, let me just grab my headphones.

Fusionater: Ready?

Darkfan21: Yup.

Fusionater: Okay! ahem! lets begin!

Music

Everythings Better with Perry

http/www.youtube.com/watch?v=J0QY3-E3uDs

Fusionater: This song is just…creepy, I’m mean seriously, they couldn’t come up with something better than P and F running around in those weird outfits? Come on!!!

He’s Doof!

Fusionater: This song is so egotistical! And I love it!!! Hey Darkfan, you think we could get our own ego based themes?

Darkfan21: I don’t think we need one because songs are a waste of time.

Brand new best friend

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCQr_IA3fwU

Fusionater: How could the slightly more respectable, alternate doof, team up with this guy!? It’s just unthinkable! You have a total moron(looks at Darkfan), and a disturbingly brilliant evil mastermind(smirks).

Darkfan21: I see what you did there and remeber who is in charge in here. WHO invited you to join? ME! You may call me a moron but I’ll soon prove you and the rest of the world wrong.

Summer(Where do we begin)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rhdaOH9CpIQ&feature=related

Fusionater: …I totally didn’t put this number 1 on a list with jason and lindgren…and I’m also totally ot going to put a link to that at the end of this…um…it sucks…I guess…*shivers*

Darkfan21: Speaking of which, weren’t you supposed to throw Jason into the the dungeons? What happened to that? Let me guess, Lindgren saved him. You fool, how could you let this happen.

Fusionater: My bad…

I Walk Away

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qT2G9tx1vdc

Fusionater: This song is….depressing…isn’t this suppose to be a happy funtime kids show?…oh well.

Darkfan21: Sad & Depressing, now this is how the film should have ended. It’s not natural for a boy to have a pet platypus.

Brand New Reality

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N0HCcP8LYRM

Fusionater: meh…this song is so bland that I can’t even really critique it…all I can do is reference our evil plan pointlessly. Soon all that oppose us will be in a brand new reality!!!

Darkfan21: Agreed, I shall rule the world.

Robot Riot

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0colNRfyBQc

Fusionater: This song is all right…it has giant robot battles…kamikaze bots…and a good sound to it, you sure you don’t want to listen to it Darkfan?

Darkfan21: I may give it one listen but I fear that it may drain my engery if I remove my headphones for longer than 3 minutes. So, I’ll only listen to it for a second.

Takin Care of Things

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhIJS0eoUm0

Fusionater: This is…annoyingly happy…why do they have to end this…huh…oh well! End of movie!!! Lets go….

Darkfan21: In that case, then I will not listen to it because it may harm me.

Kick It Up A Notch

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rF_lPMNa9jw

Fusionater: WHAT!?!?!?!?! A song!!! In the credits!?!?!? Blasphemy!!! How could they do this to me!?!?!?!? Curses! oh well, it’s a rock song, it’s got slash, nothing more to say.

Darkfan21: If there iIf there is one thing that my eneny and I can agree on is that we hate end credit songs but granted, I hate music in general. s one thing that my eneny and I can agree on is that we hate end credit songs but granted, I hate music in general.

Fusionater: Ok darkfan, whats the final verdict for this movie!?

Darkfan21: While it has elements that would wor, it’s not bad. Ha Ha, I’m sorry! I can’t say that with a straight face. This film sucks as does this show as this channel as do these characters. Everything about this film is Stupid!

Fusionater: Stupid!!!

Ooh, it looks like my inator is ready, lets go check it out.

Darkfan21: Excellent.

*walks over to the device, dramatic drum music played*

Fusionater: Behold!!! The enslavinator!!! When I activate this device, a sygnal will be broadcasted to every satelite surrounding the planet(this includes the moon), and they will in turn bounce the signal back to earth repeatedly, untl every Human mind is ours!!! *Proceeds to push the button*, hm, do you want to do the honors?

Darkfan21: Of course!!! *Pushes Fusionater out of the way, and pushes the button*

*cricket chirp*

Darkfan21: Well that was a bit anti-climactic…

Fusionater: It’s not designed to cause earthquakes, right now, the signal is being broadcasted…

http/www.youtube.com/watch?v=RhFIKzopjFI

As an added feature, all our minions within a hundred mile radias are now coming to the base.

Darkfan21: Ooh! I have an army!!!

Fusionater: We should go outside and wait for them!

Darkfan21: Lets!

*they walk outside and wait*

*On the horizon, people start appearing*

Darkfan21: This is turning out better than I ever could have imagined!

Slam!!!

Darkfan21: Wha??

*Fusionater has just gone inside the base and slammed the door shut*

Darkfan21: What is this?

Fusionater: This is victory.

Darkfan21: *turns around to see a gigantic crowd of people staring at him*

Fusionater: *speaking into a microphone*, Minions of the Enslavinator, this is Darkfan21, he has taken your minds from you, and expects you to do his bidding, I suggest you take care of him.

Darkfan21: No I! *static*

*only now does Darkfan notice who makes up the front of the crowd*

Les

manic-expression

Richtv

SOJA*SOJA*88

Timdiana

Kyle R

MBA- Ms Bad Ass

Jason

Lindgren

and all the rest of the bloggers he has terrorized.

And heading them is…Moviefan12!!!

Moviefan12: You’ve gone too far this time, Darkfan. You can attack me but when you go after my friends, that’s when it gets real. I knew I wouldn’t be able to beat you like last time.

Darkfan21: How did you know?

Moviefan12: Fusionater told me, what was about to happen and how he joined to take you down from the inside. Now let’s finish the job.

Darkfan21: But…my slaves…

Moviefan12: It’s a bit unethical to bring the entire human population to it’s knees to stop one guy, but I guess Fusionater thought it was worth it.

Fusionater: Lovely explanation of the plot Moviefan12, now…ATTACK!!!

*A charge of epic proportions heads straight towards Darkfan21*

Darkfan21: Fine, fine, I’ll leave but I’ll be back one day. I swear it, but I am done with you Moviefan but as for you, Fuionater, I’ll get my revenge on you one day.

Fusionater: Yeah yeah, so are you gonna run, or just stand there and die?

Darkfan21: I’m leaving now.

Moviefan12: Good! (to Fusionater), that guy is such a joke. You handled him well.

Fusionater: So…I have the coordinates of his other bases if your interested, also…I think we should send all these people home before we deactivate my device…*Looks at the Large crowd*

Moviefan12: Yeah, that’s a good idea.

Want to know how exactly all this happened? Well too bad!!! Hah I’m just kidding, here you go.

http://manicexpression.webs.com/apps/blog/show/12646566-average-internet-reviews-phineas-and-ferb-across-the-2nd-dimension-with-a-very-unwanted-guest-

http://manicexpression.webs.com/apps/blog/show/12869374-a-talk-about-wikia-is-captured-by-fusionater-phineas-and-ferb-wiki

http://manicexpression.webs.com/apps/blog/show/13294695-top-21-phineas-and-ferb-song-countdown-and-fusionater-s-escape-from-jason-and-lindgren-tower

http://manicexpression.webs.com/apps/blog/show/13610263-another-jason-lindgren-and-fusionater-collab-you-know-what-to-expect-humour-hatred-and-phineas-and-ferb-references-also-this-is-a-part-2-thingy-

Hello everyone!!! Welcome to average internet reviews! Thats right!!! After an extended duration of me having absolutely no name for my blog, I have come up with something!!! To celebrate the occasion I have decided to review the greatest animated show to ever appear on television *whispers* what? I already covered that? Shit. Uh…hm…did I cover the movie? *whispers*. Phew! Fantastic! Okay everyone, without further ado lets take a look at a movie Ive come to know as, dun dun dun, a godsend. But most of you probably know it a Phineas and Ferb: Across the second dimension!

Before I begin, let me give you a basic premise of the show. *deep breath*

2 boys named phineas and Ferb build city-wide roller coasters and portals to mars(or anthing of the like, while they’re stereotypical 16 year old sister attempt to stop them. All while they’re pet Platypus named Perry is a secret agent who regularly battles for the soul of the tri-state-area against an evil scientist with a cool accent. Mind. Blown.

Now unlike most Disney cannel shows, this one doesn’t suck, far from it actually…

(Meanwhile in the evil lair of Darkfan21)

Darkfan21: I’ve grown tired of waiting to attack Moviefan12. I should go after some fresh meat. But who? This must be done in a scientific manner. Eenie menine, miny, mo. Ha, it appears that I’ve landed on Fusionater. What is he up to? Reviewing that wretched Phineas and Ferb film. Doesn’t he know Moviefan already did a review of it and oh, it appears that he has made a generalization about other Disney Channel shows saying that they suck. That little ingrate is doing my job. I am the one that attacks things not him. I should pay him a visit.

(leaves lair)

Fusionater: And that’s why everyone on TGWTG will get 1 million dollars if they answer my next question corrrectly. *takes a drink*

Darkfan21: Fusionater,

HOW DARE YOU try to do my job? Don’t you know I’m the one who makes snide comments about all things Disney. All of these shows may suck and that they do but it is MY job to point that out. Your beloved little kiddie’s show about these two brothers is no better than the rest. I’d go far as to say this is the worst show on Disney Channel since Kim Possible, It’s too bright and happy. Now if you want a good animated show on Disney Channel, watch Fish Hooks instead. Such blandness and boring characters in that show. It’s so much than this wretched piece of animation. Fusionater, come and face me if you dare.

Fusionater: Whah…huh…I’m sory I missed most of that, you can not just jump on a guy like that…*inhale*, *exhale*,phew. Okay lets see…I took your job yada yada and *gasp!* W-what did y-you say ab b bout that show? heheeheehe ehe eheheheheheehhehehehhhehehhee…

you little fool. You think you can just waltz over to my blog and insult me like like this? You think you’le just be able to walk away from this without some form of torture? I hope your prepared for a world of hurt.

Darkfan21: You Insolent child, do you not think after my battles with Moviefan, I would not prepare myself what any of his friends have in store? I’m sure he’s told you how to defeat me. Go ahead and try, this should be delightful, Oh and if your going to evil laugh, make it sound dignified like this.

Fusionater: Huh? You want we to sound like an asthmatic 4th grader? Hm, very well, I will try it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=ocXFH054vwU

ha ha…hmm??? Gah! Very well, you shall remain, but know this, there is no chance you will leave now, or ever again. *clicks button* hahahahahhah!

Darkfan21: You should have known that I would’ve brought a pair of headphones.

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ilb-sbXTxbc/Tqr1CSIMmxI/AAAAAAAABgc/HstQxHef1Nw/s1600/headphones.jpg

I’ll give you this much, you have been proven to be much stronger than the last nuance I dealt with. I will give you that much. Do not misunderstand me though because I will not back down, boy. I shall escape from this pathetic trap you’ve enclosed me in.

Fusionater: You don’t seem to understand who’s in control here. I control the collaborations around here. I’m the one who approves them. Ordinarily your kind slips past me do to your less than collaby nature of the average trolls appearences. But you in MY dwelling. But I’m not unreasonable, if you me my demands, you shall go free. All you have to do is read this on a broadcast that I’ll set up.

Darkfan21: You think you can tell ME what to do. You fool, you really think I’m just a troll, have you not seen what I did to Moviefan12? I once tookver his body! Tell me has any troll ever done that?! Very well, if it’ll get me out of here, hand me the script.

Fusionater: Hm, your right, your a supertroll, you have the ability to be twice as annoying as the regular troll. And here’s your script.

*dials number*, Moviefan12, you may want to tune into my latest broadcast.

Darkfan21: You child, I am no troll. Let’s get this over with.

Darkfan21: ladies and gentlemen, this is darkfan21, I do indeed fear fusionater, he is the ultimate representation of all things(to fusionater) this isn’t a word?

Fusionater: say it.

Darkfan21:*sigh*, badassitude.

Fusionater: now the back.

Darkfan21: *flips page over*

Darkfan21: *glances at script* Okay, there is no way I’m saying this about Moviefan12 *Fusionater stares at Darkfan* Fine, Moviefan12 is the greatest Disney blogger on the web and I bow down to him. His talent knows no bounds. (Gag) He is the kindest and sweetest person on the web (and also the most naive) *another stare from Fusionater* Okay, I’ll finish it the way, you wrote it, Moviefan12 defeated me fair and square. He is the smartest of all Disney bloggers (Geese, did you have Moviefan write this?) *Fusionater stares again* Sorry, sorry, that appears to be all on here. Am I done reading this inane script?

Fusionater: Yes, yes you are. Now all we have to do is finish the review. WHAT? You thought you could just interrupt me halfway through this thing and just get out of it??? Don’t worry, I won’t be expecting much from you.

Darkfan21: Very well, child! What is it you want from me? I have not suffered enough? You may think you’ll win but just like your pathetic friend, you are wrong. For you see since I last attacked Moviefan, I’ve grown stronger and wiser. You wish to finish your review, I’ll let you do that but mark my words. By the end of this review, there will be no more Fusionater.

Fusionater: While technically there will still be a fusionater, unless if you somehow manage to get rid of all of my accounts all over the internet. Oh and that ass hole on youtube who got to the name before me. Anyway…all you have to do is give your (brief) thoughts on a subject after I have given my sypnosis. Surely you know how to offer a real opinion on something? Oh that’s right! You devoted so much time and effort to ruining other peoples lives that you’ve most likely lost the capacity for any REAL human emotion.

Darkfan21: Emotions are for the weak. I’ll give my thoughts on this film, it’s not very good, now let me GO!

Fusionater: Oh spare me the bravado, and let me continue this thing. ah hem!

So…if you go back and read the plot sypnosis I gave for the show, you’le get the gist of it.

Darkfan21: You certainly put on a brave mask but deep down just like Moviefan, your scared! Aren’t you? You know your scared because you know what I can do. Finish This review but do know that I stand by what I said and don’t try to act tough. I’ve caught onto your act.

Fusionater: Yes I’m terrified. I’m terrified of the guy who cowers at the site of its a small world. Why do people hate that song? I love it! But fair enough. I’ll stop being mr tough guy if it will make YOU happy.

Darkfan21: Foolish child, you should know that I no longer cower at that terrible song. Not since I have found a way to stop the music from defeating me.

Fusionater: Thats the point, you were so weak that a SONG defeated you. I can’t even bring myself to respect you on a man to man level because of that. I mean it sounds like a cop out plot hole from the 70’s.

Darkfan21: I have grown stronger since then. That song stood happiness and innocence, something I was once vulnerable to. But since then my anger and hatred have grown stronger. Forging those headphones, you see before you. They are no ordinary headphones, they can block out the sound of happiness. Which is why your song didn’t work on ME! Tell me, Fusionater why do you fight on the side of good? When you have the makings of a great villain, join me and we could take down the others such as Dawn-Heart, CunningRunt, DisneyOtoko and perhaps even Positive Troll. Why if the two of us join forces we could take over Channel Awesome! Won’t you join me, Fuisonater. Join me as my second in command and I’ll spare anyone of your friends’ lives.

Fusionater: you know what. Your right! Who needs those whining little imbecils when WE! Yes we, will be the ones in charge! And once the mediocrity of channel awesome has been conquered, we will move on to the bigger fish! Such as youtube, and than(naturally) T.G.I Fridays!!! Hey I’ve seen the movies, we conquer that place and we rule the universe!!!

Darkfan21: Excellent!!!

Fusionater: Now than, my liege, we must go and plan our conquest!!!:lol:

Darkfan21: We prepare for the attack on T.G.I Fridays and then the blogs.

Fusionater: First, I’ll lock up the site collaborations so they can’t ban together and stop us. And we can both procure that key from moviefan12!!!

Darkfan21: I truly like your thinking and if we do take over that eatery make sure we get the recipie for their Jack Daniels Burger.

Fusionater: I’ll make a note of that…

*Both walk off to plot*

Moviefan12: Oh looks like Fusionater tried to call me. What, how did Darkfan escape? This isn’t good, I don’t think he can be defeated with a song. Wait, what’s this, Fusionater has teamed up with Darkfan? This can’t be right. Something feels off about this. I need to call him. *dials number*

Fusionater, it’s Moviefan. What are you doing teaming up with my arch enemy? I thought you were one of the good guys. This doesn’t add up. Please tell me this is just a ruse and you haven’t actually turned to the side of evil.

Fusionater: In the end, what is good? *hangs up*.

Huh, soon as I get a title I get a storyline, what are the odds? Wait, I think I forgot to review the movie, NOOOOOOOOO!!!!

YAY!!! Another list in the backlog!!! And I didn’t rip off Moviefan12 this time!!! Guess my number 1. I’m sure you people who have known me for quite a while now couldn’t POSSIBLY get it…

Now before I begin lets get 1 thing straight, if I were to include comic book villains on this list, it would fill the whole thing. That would make my list lack diversity, and I find that boring, so uh…top 9.

Number 9.

Dwayne from 30 minutes or less.

Dwayne,left Abused sidekick, right.

Now I know you weren’t expecting a dumbass villain from a typical comedy movie(I still loved it), but there was 1 part in this movie that forever cemented him on this list. near the end of the film, when his partner/friend who he has been bullying throughout the entire film gets set on fire due to the flamethrower on his back being shot, instead of going after the guy with $100,000(which I guarantee every single person in the theater was expecting), he went back to check on his friend to make sure he was all right. And after that scene, you could tell this had just become personal for him. He may be a dumbass, but he’s a memorable dumbass.

Dwayne,left Abused sidekick, right.

Number 8. Plankton from Spongebob Squarepants

Uh…the green guy in the middle.

Plankton is a diminutive evil genius that wants nothing more than 1 little recipe, and he will go to extreme ends to get it. one of the things I love about this guy is his interactions with the other main characters, mainly his W.I.F.E. and Mr. Krabs. nothing is quite as funny as watching this guy blow a gasket.

Number 7. Syndrome from the incredibles.

uh..Tights

This guy is really similar to the Horror villain scream, in that he’s aware of all the cliches, not to say he doesn’t take part in them. What I really loved about the villain was his evil plan, he wanted to get rid of supers, and not by killing them(though he did a significant amount of that to), but by making everyone else just like them, now that’s just sinister. He could have been a hero if his dreams weren’t shot down by Mr. incredible.

Number 6. Dr. insano

GOGGLES!

I really just had to include him sorry, so um hes insane, moving on.

Number 5. Artemis Fowl from uh… Artemis Fowl.

Anyone else think he looks bored?(my joke doesn’t work here as it’s a different picture than before)

What you thought this was just film and television villains? NO! while Artemis is the main character of the series, in the first book he was a real villain, spending the entire book trying to relieve the Fairies of there gold. This Fourteen year old boy is a strategist unlike any other, and he deserves his spot. The series is really worth a read for those who haven’t already read it.

Number 4. Jigsaw from the Saw series.

1,2 Jigsaws coming for you.

Jigsaw has a rare quality that you don’t often see in a horror villain, alongside Mr. Lector himself, hes actually intelligent! Unlike Hannibal however, Jigsaw took a different approach to psycho analyzing his victims. The traps this guy comes up with are just as compelling as he is. Saw was my gateway drug to Horror movies and for anyone who hasn’t seen it. watch it!

Number 3. Dr. Drakken from Kim possible

What do you think?

I think it’s just sad that the one time one of this guys plans actually works is when he’s saving the world, something other villains ridicule him for. I love that this guy is just so stupid. give him 2 and 2 and he’ll get 20. I’l bet it’s pretty embarrassing to constantly be defeated by a teenage cheerleader. The running gags with this character rarely get old and when they do they are immediately made fresh with some new twist.

Number 2. Jessie, James, and Meowth

Figure it out!

Now like Plankton, these are characters I constantly find myself feeling sorry for, constantly trying to do one thing, succeed. There attempts to capture a simple Pikachu number in the 100’s. Whats really sad about these guys is that it’s clearly shown that they would succeed if they simply quit being criminals. One question I always ask myself is, “why don’t they just capture a few wild Pokemon?” Seriously by now I think the smart move is to get several thousand miles away from Ash and try something else.

Number 1. Heinz Doofenshmirtz from Phineas and Ferb

HD, um, not the Lazar thingy.

OK Lied, had I included Comic book villains, I still probably would have put this guy at number 1. He’s so awesome that Ive committed myself to using him as a base source for satirical jokes should I ever decide to do a video review show(which I have considered). Now the great thing about this guy is his relationship with his “nemesis” Perry the Platypus, they fight so often that HD literally gave him the key to his front door to save on ceiling repairs. They spend so much time together that they exchange Christmas presents. And when he doesn’t have Perry as his nemesis, it’s just sad. Voiced by one of the creators Dan Povenmire, Doofenshmirtz really has a unique voice, giving a nice quirky evil scientist vibe.

Ah the heck with it, I do’t care if this is a backlog, I’m adding more to my number one!!!

There is no question that I love this villain, He only makes my favorite show all the better, I especially like the design for him, Its just so, not normal.

If I left someone out that you think should have made the list, please let me know in the comments.

End of backlog.

Hey everybody!!! It’s backlog time!!!! To start off we will take a look at my first blog entry where I accidentally ended up ripping off Moviefan12!!! Oh boy…

Why top 11? Who the hell told you that? Ive only got 6! Crap…

This is my first blog, so please forgive me if the editing is a bit off.

When it comes to Disney villains, there tends to be a lackey who takes care of the more mundane tasks that the villain could not do himself. These lesser villains tend to be forgotten in the shadow of the films more interesting main villain. Now lets shed some light on the villains we don’t care about.

Read the rest of this entry →

Can time travel fix the past, or will it only make things worse?

It’s Batman Day Woooooohoooooooooo!!!! I’ve bought by cape, got my special edition copy of Detective Comics #27, got a cardboard mask…NANANNANANANNANNANANN BAAT MAAAAAN!!!

In honor of this and the fact that we need to test comments, I repost this blog.

Hi everybody! In celebration of the holiday that most of you know about(go ahead guess), I have decided to count down the scariest moments in the Batman universe, cause I like Batman. Now, fair warning, this article will contain MASSIVE SPOILERS!!!!!!! Do no read a list item if you are unfamiliar with the story in question, unless if you don’t care. So, let’s begin. 🙂

Number 9. Batman: Year One Dinner Party

This is the only entry on the list featuring Batman as the main component of fear, which is surprising, as his entire thing is being all spooky and stuff…this features his announcing his presence to the criminals of Gotham, in the most bad-assed way possible…

Yup, he takes the ever classic approach of BLOW STUFF UP!!!!!!!! BLOW STUFF UP!!!!!!!! He busts down their wall, does a spooky candle thing, and freaks them out, awesome.

Watch it here.

Number 8. What The Hell Happened?

I’ve lost you with this one, you asking, “how is this scary???” While, I’ll explain my view on it as best as I can. ou see, this page(from a comic that is unknown to me, I really want to find this thing), features the riddler, for lack of better explanation, basically just questioning what the hell has happened to comic, they want from the hokey loveable things to gritty epics. He even appears depressed that the Joker is killing people now, and that some of the older villains have just up and disappeared. What makes this kind of scary in my opinion is that, it’s really easy to think of the older stuff as not having happened, because the newer stuff is so vastly different by comparison(this page looks to be at least 20 years old, but that’s besides the point), when you think about it, if an accurate timeline is followed, these people have some pretty fucked up histories, Batman used to carry a gun, Joker goes from murdering psychotic to loveable trickster at the drop of a hat, and the penny plunderer existed…huh…to me, all of this is just creepy.

Number 7. Breaking The Bat

Yes, Bane breaks Batman’s back, you were all expecting this one weren’t you? Some of the less avid comic readers may not know the story behind it, and that’s fine, I’ll simplify it for you. Bane leads Batman in to fighting many, many enemies for months on end, and this wears him down, so, when Bane went in for the kill, he had both a physical,and a psychological advantage over Batman, as Batman was starting to question his ability to do the job. He’s so triumphent that he doesn’t even kill Batman, as…same basic reason as the Nolan movie Bane. Now, Bane may not have had much else to do in the comics since than, but hell, if that isn’t a good start, breaking the Bat, gotta get you some points in Gotham’s underbelly…

Number 6. Killing Joke Ending

Now, I believe James has talked about why Batman should kill the Joker in the past, he even used this handy dandy littl image,

That’s actually the cover for Batman #614, it’s a pretty good read, it involves one of times where Batman comes OH so close to killing the joker beating him to a bloody pulp throughout the entire issue. (Ironically this is like the only time the Joker actually hadn’t done anything, and in fact was innocent of the crime) At the end of the killing Joke, the majority vote greatest Joker story, one of the most merciflly ambiguos things in comic book history happened, Batman is brought into a fit of laughter when the joker tells a joke(it makes more sense if you understand the pacing, but I won’t get into it), basically batman leaps at joker and grabs him b the necck, we than cut to a pddle of water. Did Batman kill the Joker? Since the story was a one shot, it was unknown, since it’s basically been added to the continuity of all modern Batman(and rightfully so, it’s awesome), it’s pretty clear at this point that he didn’t, but what was the original intention? Hell, even in the special edition, the writer teases the reader about how it was supposed to end. We don’t know, and we might never know, but that’s the gut-wrenching part of it.

Also, I’ll pose James’ question here, should Batman kill the Joker? I vote yes, I’ll explain in the comments if anyone cares to have the conversation.

Number 5. Arkham City Ending

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE stop reading if you haven’t played the Arkham games! skip to the next entry, leave well enough alone, and than go play the games, I don’t like to spoil these things. Basically, at the end to the Arkham City game(the sequal to the not as awesome but still awesome Arkham Asylum game), the Joker is at his low-point, he’s dieing, and Batman questions whether he should save him(he has the cure for Joker’s ailment in his hand.),

“Every decision you’ve ever made ends with death and misery. People die, I stop you, and you’ll just break out and do it again.”

This is the ultimate argument for Batman killing the Joker(again, comments, wanna have the conversation?) The joker basically fucks himself over by stabbing Batman and forcing him to drop the cure. The Joker is going to die, it’s happening, and Batman says this,

“Do you want to know something funny? Even after everything you’ve done, I would have saved you.”

The joker dies with a smile on his face. F@$%#&. Up.

Now, of course, even with everyone on the team confirming his deat, their is a plausible theory as to how he could have faked his death(he is the Joker after all), but that’s neither here nor there, maybe some other time.

Watch it here.

Number 4. Jason Todd

Yeaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh…another obvious one…Joker beats Jason Todd to death with a crowbar, it’s fucked up, the end.

Watch it here.

Number 3. New 52 Joker

Now what can I say about him now…he had his own face cut off, is currently preparing to go to war with the entire bat-family, and is perhaps the most psychotic he’s ever been, plus his face has been removed.

Now, Joker has just returned after his year long absence in the new 52(big bad DC continuity reboot…sppoooooooooooooooooooooky!!!) and, he’s coming with a vengeance.

Number 2. Death of the Joker

The fuck? Another one? ok..uh…The joker has psychologically tortured and altered Tim Drake, the 3rd Robin, into his new mini me,

and mini me shoots the joker…

Joker’s dead, and we’re not even halfway through the movie yet…

You know this list is really starting to repeat itself…

Watch it here.

Number 1. The Birth of Catwoman

THANK GOD!!!!! Oh wait…I mean…WTF!!!!!!!!!! This is some messed up shit, She just tore that place up and…WTF!?!?!?!??!?!? Tim Burton, you mad man. I recenly talked about this in my crossover with pbmiranda, found here, yeah, it’s messud up.

Watch it here.

List end. Goodbye, seeya later.

You know, looking at this list,

5 of the entries involved the joker…and out of those…3 of them involved him dieing…and not one mention of the scarecrow…I might need to branch out more with my lists…so yeah, thanks for reading! And Happy Halloween!

The first video that I ever made.