Alton Brown’s “Good” Thanksgiving

(Scene begins with a laser beam in the sky as the music of the 1994 American Gladiators opening theme plays the angle of the camera goes into the laser as four shadowed figures with lasered outlines appear as the shadows reveal themselves to be James Faraci in the center, Kent Lilly and Paulo Fonseca on the right and Rowdy (Chris Lee Moore) Rebecca Yaun on the left as their names appear above the characters. As they run out of frame moving towards the camera, four more shadowed figures with lasered outlines appear, and the shadows reveal themselves as Brenda Fonseca on the right, Nick Yaun on the left, and John and Mike Santos and their names appear above the characters. As they run out of frame moving forward moving towards the camera, five more shadowed figures with lasered outlines appear as they reveal themselves to be Renee Miller and Eric Kurtzke on the right, Andrew Beach and Ed Champion on the left, and Olivia Horvath appears in the center as their names appear above the characters. As they run out of frame credits of “Written by James Faraci with assistance from Steve Kidd, Edited by Eric Kurtzke, Makeup by Olivia Horvath Produced by First Choice Productions, Directed by James Faraci” as it ends the Laser beam disappears and at the 0:28 mark of the theme song the laser beam cut out the words “The” “Last” “Of” “The” appear. At the 0:32-0:36 mark, the term “Americans” start to come forward as it pulls down, and James’ Morpher and Sonic Screwdriver is flung into the frame as James grabs both and morphs into The Last Of The Americans and half of team TLOTA on his right and the other half on his left as the camera pulls back to see the slab with the markings “The Last Of The Americans.” Cut to James in the Break room Kitchen dressed for cooking)

TLOTA: I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and the views I’m about to express are that of my own and some of yours. It’s November, you know what that means… THANKSGIVING! (Cut to images of Thanksgiving Diners from Thanksgiving pasts as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.): And I love cooking for it as much as I love watching movies. And seeing as Thanksgiving is around the corner, it’s time to cook. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA: And who else can help than the one, the only, ALTON BROWN! (Cut to images of Alton Brown as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.): And honestly, he is, to me, the reason I understand both cooking and science on the same level. And in 1999, Alton Brown crafted two episodes of his cooking show centered around Thanksgiving. While yes, there are other episodes and a recipe from an episode that never got made that I will get to further down the line but for now, we are focusing on two episodes. (Cut to James physically) TLOTA: And the first one is what put Alton on the map, and the sequel shows what to do with the sequels. (Cut to the title cards of “Romancing The Bird” & “Behind The Bird: The Remains Of The Bird” then to clips of both as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.): Released in 1999, “Romancing The Bird” and its sequel “Behind The Bird: The Remains Of The Bird” put Alton Brown on the map, in terms of Pop Culture status. The episodes are well written, the recipes are iconic, as is a statement made in this episode and today, I will be reviewing the episode and because this is a cooking show… (Cut to James physically) TLOTA: I will be cooking along with the episode and with some help. (Cut to Julia Alexa Miller in cooking gear)

Julia Alexa Miller: I purchased all the ingredients, and I thought that would be the most I would be involved in this event.

TLOTA: As the old proverb goes, “Give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he’ll eat forever.” (James looks behind him to see Rowdy and Kent Lilly talking about Content Creation. James pops in while the two talk.)

TLOTA: Kent! Rowdy! (The two jump back in fear!)

Rowdy: I guess that’s payback for me scaring the crap out of you last month.

Kent Lilly: Best not to ask?

Rowdy: Bingo!

TLOTA: Look I am glad you’re here. Why are you here?

Rowdy: Well, I discovered that Kent is going to my Alma Matter, and I went back to talk about being an online content creator/internet reviewer, that sort of thing, and I figured I’d show what success was like and when we got here Kent let me know he had been here a few months ago when you jumped us mid-conversation.

TLOTA: Okay, listen, how’d you like to help me cook a thanksgiving meal.

Kent Lilly: Allez Cuisine!

Rowdy: Last time I tried that, I nearly burned my old house in the Dallas/Fort Worth area down to the ground, lousy Deep Fat Turkey Fryers.

Watch us three Stooges cook here.

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