TLOTA:
So let me understand this thinking from Chad. You decided to produce an online Daytime talk show in my studio, and you decided to get John Berchtold to host. Then you thought everyone would be glad to be on board, which most of the team is NOT, then you nearly blow the very penny-tight budget on the show’s production. I have to save your backside to keep the show going by being the first guest on this show.

Chad Narducci:
Considering that I had a demonic entity controlling most of my actions kept my creative ideas at bay and increased my hatred of you by a billion times more than usual. I needed to have something come to fruition by the end of the year, so why not do this show.

Julia Alexa Miller:
Chad, you should’ve told us about this, James, appear on the show for my sake. So, get going. (James walks away with a sigh and a feeling of disgust as he prepares to be on Johnny’s talk show.) And just for the record Chad, your ass is on the line. Either this succeeds, or you get James and me at full fury!

Chad Narducci:
As if I haven’t experienced it. (Cut to the set as applause from the audience dies down.)

Johnny Berchtold:
Okay, my first guest, he is the man who is subletting his studio to allow this series to happen; he has earned the respect of so many of his peers; he is probably the funniest guy and the craziest guy I have ever met. He is James Faraci The Last Of The Americans! (Cut to James as he faces the audience, bows before the audience, and greets Johnny) Welcome to the show.

TLOTA:
It is a pleasure to be here, I never thought you’d have me on as a guest, but I am glad to help a good friend out.

Johnny Berchtold:
So, the first question I would like to ask in my first episode is, what made you decide on your profession?

TLOTA:
I want to say I was lazy and thought I could do better than most people in my profession, which happens to be reviewing subjects on the Internet, which it did not. It came from a desire to talk about topics I like to speak about (Cut to Julia Alexa Miller and Chad Narducci as the two suddenly feel a cold chill as James continues to speak on the talk show in the background.)

Julia Alexa Miller:
Did you feel that?

Chad Narducci:
Oh, it’s Johnny’s other guest for the show. Also, I heard about James having a band, so I was able to

Julia Alexa Miller:
Oy Vey! (Cut to the talk show as James and Johnny laugh.)

TLOTA:
So it has been fun.

Johnny Berchtold:
Now, wait, stick around. Didn’t my producers talk to you? You and your old friends are performing, later on; help me pronounce it, please. (James looks at the card and whispers N.Y.4) The N.Y.4 will be performing today. But when we come back, she is one of the hottest designers/fashionistas to come from the U.K., and she will be making her American debut talking about her career. Don’t you go away now! (Cameraman says, “We’re clear. We got a five-minute ad break” off-screen.)

TLOTA:
Dude, no one informed me I’d be performing music! I thought it’d be an interview, and that’d be that. I hope Alex is giving Chad Tsouris for this. (Cut to the outside of Julia Alexa Miller’s office as Chad is begging for forgiveness as loud punches, slams, and thuds are heard, then a sonic blast shakes the building to its foundation. Cut to James as he decides to sit in the second seat.)

Johnny Berchtold:
Dude, don’t worry about the whole having to play, so now I’m in the second seat.

TLOTA:
It’s called etiquette on a daytime show like this, and the first guest has to either move off stage or sit further down so the next guest can have the center of the spotlight.

Johnny Berchtold:
It makes sense to me. (Cameraman says, “We’re back in thirty seconds.” Off-screen as Johnny makes it back just in time.) Okay, welcome back! Oh! I nearly slipped off my chair there. These things are what happen when we do something live. Our next guest comes from the U.K. She became an instant Fashionista icon, a designer whose style is incomparable to anyone; please welcome Evilla DeMon! (Cut to Evilla, as played by Brenda Fonseca, walking on to the stage dressed like she raided Lady Gaga’s craziest closet of clothes she wouldn’t wear, and her hair is a mix of Red and Blue. Evilla turns, and James’ chair gets destroyed, and James falls out of his chair. Johnny tries to get James back on his feet. James stands up and whispers about having to step out to practice. Cut to James as he closes the door to his office and pulls out an electric guitar.)

TLOTA:
Well, I might as well do it! (James plays “Cruella Deville” on a guitar.)

With Special thanks to Steve Kidd, Will I be able to break the stigma of a movie that had been compared to Joaquin Phoenix’s biggest movie? Find out here

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