TLOTA: I’m James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans and the views I’m about to express are that of my own & some of yours and Welcome to another edition of Reality Checkout! (Cut to Video Purchasing Store checkout counter in which John Santos is a brainless idiot purchasing Reality TV series while James is the clerk who looks at the guy as if he were an idiot and slowly gets angry and does him a favor by buying him a copy of all the seasons of the restarted “Doctor Who” series as he takes the Reality TV series and places them in Port-a-Potty along with a lit stick of Dynamite and then James runs like hell as an image of Kim Kardashian is seen covered in fecal matter and the only clean part is the words “Reality Checkout” while the theme from “Welcome Freshmen” plays in the background before cutting back to James.)
TLOTA: Believe it or not, I was once a wrestling fan but then came bad choices left and right like when WWE bought out WCW, then came the first attempt at the brand split between Raw & Smackdown! The straw that broke my back as a WWE fan was giving John Laurinitis control of both shows and after that came me being a fan of TNA or as they’re calling themselves now Impact Wrestling. The less said about that company and Dixie Carter’s ability to run the company the better because they forced me into being a retired Pro Wrestling Fan. I’ll watch if there’s nothing else except for Lucha Underground or WCPW they seem to be giving me effort in their promotions though I will check out the occasional WWE Royal Rumble and or WrestleMania but the only reason I don’t watch is for one red headed reason! (Cut to an image of Becky Lynch and James shouts “NO! Rowdy likes her and I’m okay with her!” before cutting to James physically) I’m talking about a red headed headache that (Audio of Eva Marie’s intro plays as James rubs his head to try to alleviate his headache.) GOD TAKE ME NOW!