TLOTA: I’m James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans and the views that I’m about to express are that of my own and some of yours. Guess what happened to me during my Christmas Break? (Cut to a nighttime shot of James locking up the Studio when he feels something hit his ankle and looks down to see a Cybermat. James locks up as he grabs his Sonic Screwdriver and the climbing music from the 1960’s Batman TV series plays as he walks a few steps) Okay, that music is kind of creepy yet silly at the same time. (The Climbing music continues as James follows the Cybermat to an alleyway in which James short circuits the thing in which the music reaches a crescendo and the light from the Sonic Screwdriver shows the message “Look down”)

TLOTA (Audio only): “Look Down” (Cut to James holding the Sonic Screwdriver)

TLOTA: What does that mean? (James looks down to see a rope circling his ankles and closing in around him.) Uh-oh! (James screams as he’s being flung upside down and going up several stories only to be grabbed by Christopher Nolan’s Batman played by Paulo Fonseca)

C.N. Batman: WHY ARE YOU GIVING BEN AFFLECK THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT TO BE ME? (Cut to James being held upside down)

TLOTA: BATMAN?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?! (Cut to Christopher Nolan’s Batman)

C.N. Batman: THERE IS ONLY ONE TRUE BATMAN! THE BATMAN GROWLS AT EVILDOERS AND PUTS THE FEAR OF DARKNESS INTO THEM! (Cut to James being held upside down)

TLOTA: WHILE SOUNDING LIKE WOLVERINE WITH LARYNGYTIS? (Cut to Christopher Nolan’s Batman)

C.N. Batman: THE BATMAN THAT USES FEAR TO KEEP CRIMINALS AT BAY AND I BROOD TO WATCH OVER MY CITY! (Cut to James being held upside down)

TLOTA: WHILE ACTING MORE RIDICULOUS THAN THE SCHUMACHER BATMAN EVEN THOUGH SCHUMACHER’S BATMAN HAD BAT-NIPPLES! (Cut to Christopher Nolan’s Batman)

C.N. Batman: I DO THINGS WITH INTELLIGENCE! (Cut to James being held upside down)

TLOTA: WHILE SHOVING THE MAN WHO BOTH SAVED AND TAINTED THE BATMAN FRANCHISE BY SHOVING HIS POLITICAL VIEWS ON THINGS! (Cut to Christopher Nolan’s Batman)

C.N. Batman: WHY DO KEEP COMING UP WITH FUNNY COMEBACKS?! HUMOR IS THE LAST THING MOVIE GOERS WANT WHEN IT COMES TO MOVIES STARRING COMIC BOOK HEROES ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO THE GREATEST SUPERHERO OF ALL TIME! (Cut to James being held upside down)

TLOTA: OKAY FIRST OFF, YOU’RE NOT THE GREATEST SUPERHERO OF ALL TIME! OKAY, THAT MANTLE BELONGS TO SUPERMAN AND SECONDLY HAVE YOU NOT SEEN WHAT THEY’RE DOING AT MARVEL WITH THEIR MOVIES? THEY’RE ABLE TO BE A LITTLE SILLY BUT STILL KEEP THINGS HEAVY ENOUGH TO MAKE A POINT! (Cut to Christopher Nolan’s Batman)

C.N. Batman: HUMOR IS THE LAST THING PEOPLE NEED IN A COMIC BOOK MOVIE! THEY NEED TO BE REMINDED OF THE NEWS OF THE DAY! KNOWING THAT WITH THE EXCEPTION OF A FEW, EVERY POLITICIAN, RELIGIOUS FIGURE AND OFFICER OF THE LAW IS ON THE TAKE! JUSTICE MUST HAPPEN WHEN A FEW DECIDE TO TAKE MATTERS INTO THEIR OWN HANDS! AND NEVER CALL THAT PUSSY THAT DARES TO SHOW ITSELF INTO THE LIGHT THE GREATEST SUPERHERO EVER! THAT MANTLE BELONGS TO ME BECAUSE I BROOD IN THE SHADOWS TO KEEP AN EYE ON EVERYTHING NO ONE ELSE SEES! (Cut to James being held upside down)

TLOTA: OKAY YOU KNOW WHAT? I’VE HAD IT, I AM SICK AND TIRED OF YOU THINKING YOU’RE THE ALPHA AND OMEGA WHEN IT COMES TO COMIC BOOK SUPERHEROES AND SUPERHERO MOVIES ESPECIALLY IN THE DC UNIVERSE. SO GUESS WHAT? COME JANUARY YOUR ASS BELONGS TO ME FOR THE NEXT THREE MONTHS BECAUSE I’M GOING AFTER YOU IN MY REVIEWS! (Cut to Christopher Nolan’s Batman)

C.N. Batman: YOU THINK I WON’T BE WATCHING TO SEE IF YOU BE RIGHT IN YOUR THOUGHTS! I’LL BE WATCHING AND WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT, I WILL STRIKE AGAINST YOU AND EVERYTHING YOU STAND FOR! (James gets launched down into the alleyway, screaming all the way until he lands)

TLOTA: BATMAN YOU FREAKING PSYCHOPATH! YOUR ASS IS MINE COME JANUARY! I’LL SHOW YOU HOW FAR YOU’VE FALLEN FROM BEING THE GREATEST! DO YOU HEAR ME! I’LL…SHOW…YOU! (Cut to James in his office quarters.)

TLOTA: Yeah, you could say I had a rough night that night, but my statement still stands. For the next three months I am going to knock Batman down a few bat-pegs! (Cut to clips of Batman from different times in different forms of Media as the Danny Elfman theme plays in the background and James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): Now don’t get me wrong, I still like the Batman and I’m gonna do him right by talking about three different versions of Batman. One from the past, one from the current time and one of the future. However, I’m going to do things in nonlinear way. We’re starting in the past, jumping into the future and end in the current time. (Cut to James physically in his office quarters)

TLOTA: So let’s start with the first Batman who got well known for being Batman the Adam West version.

Holy Nostalgic trip! What can James say about the classic Adam West Batman? Find out here

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