Maven Of The Eventide (Sounding like a female Bela Lugosi): Good evening, I am The Maven Of The Eventide and it is time once again for me to punish James Faraci The Last Of The Americans for liking “The Twilight Saga”. (Cut to everyone on the couch looking at James.)
TLOTA: What? (Cut to footage from the movies from “The Twilight Saga” while James does a voice over)
TLOTA (V.O.): Okay, let me clarify something. The fact that I like “The Twilight Saga” doesn’t mean I think it’s bulletproof nor do I think it’s the best set of Vampire movies ever. (Cut to James & everyone else on the couch.)
TLOTA: As a matter of fact, I can name 13 vampire movies that are without question better than “The Twilight Saga”. (Cut to The Maven Of The Eventide)
Maven Of The Eventide: You mean to tell me that you’re counting down and reviewing thirteen vampire movies better “The Twilight Saga”? “Dark Shadows” by Tim Burton is a better movie than all five of “The Twilight Saga”. (Cut to James & everyone else on the couch.)
TLOTA: I get it but that movie isn’t on the list.
Others on the Couch: What list?
TLOTA: The top thirteen Vampire films better than “The Twilight Saga”
Rebecca: Why thirteen?
Rowdy: Because while The Nostalgia Critic will go one step from the normal countdown list. James is going to go two steps beyond The Nostalgia Critic’s one in order to appease The Maven Of The Eventide.
Lea Michele: Time out, this Maven Of The Eventide, where is she now?
Rowdy: Looking at us. Don’t ask how it works.
TLOTA: So let’s check out the Thirteen Vampire movies better than “The Twilight Saga”