I’m sorry,
please,
I didn’t mean anything by it,
everything that was said,
was not that of a sound mind,
it was that if bitter and anger,
but how else could it been taken,
news like this,
isn’t what others want to hear,
not on a last breath of goodbyes,
and you choose to go out like out,
replying to the dim side,
of the coin,
I promised myself never to go,
and because of your words,
their broken,
because there is no point in keeping them,
when keeping them was for you,
on your last breath,
you only say,
to me,
is to give it up,
and move on,
how easy is it,
to just move on and forget you were never part,
of my life,
never having the feeling to look,
over my shoulder,
of my yesterdays,
wanting time to step back,
and just a few more seconds,
to live life together,
I’m sorry,
please,
understand that I am not that strong,
I am weak as the next person,
who hides behinds a jaded worded life,
I stand strong,
to hide away the crumbling world around me,
that keeps saying,
it’s changing,
but we all know the truth,
that’s not even close,
I fake being happy,
never daring foul words in every other line,
come off as a saint,
a cheerful saint,
but under the tunic lies a pair of devil wings,
clawing against the fabric,
begging to come out,
lusting after,
to just claw away,
a once soft and smooth surface,
of smiles,
but I can’t,
there are just things,
that can’t be overlooked,
even when I have to carry your casket,
to the final resting spot,
you want to be strong,
even for a moment,
to just lie,
a simple white lie,
at least try to understand,
even after all this,
lying was never my thing,
but I do it all,
from start to end,
because,
well just because,
and again,
I’m sorry,
that I am not everything,
that’s crack up to be,
but hey,
that’s how you raised me,
and I will never forget that,
and I say it with love,
even though,
I’m crying.
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