Damn That Yet

Boredom as ever so on it, the day bright that could be painful for the eyes if someone didn’t have shades or a hat, bustling of people leaving and entering the coffee shop. One a few others, people watching as those whom didn’t feel the dragging eyes, went on, as nothing out of the normal for them. So again, boredom got the best of one, having them lop their head on a leaning arm hold, while their clench hand dig into their cheek, giving a huff when feeling the indent of a ring form. Though, instead of fixing themselves, to ease off the pain, just lean in more to it, with a stone face forming a displeasure face, when seeing someone walk by and noticed them, mirroring the same look.

When noticing the person wasn’t to go away, a simple fling of the bird with the free hand, which at some point removed from the cup of coffee. Showing a mock front joy in seeing the other, earning the other come into the store, standing the near, anger hue of red, took quite a hold on the other’s face.

“If you are just coming in here to just yell at me, please reframe from doing so, there are children here.”

The other gave a groan, before fixing himself, and taking the opening seat in front of the other. Arms folded tightly in front, while the man hid his face in the opening.

“I . . . fucking . . . hate . . .  you.” Each word came out, as he took a calming breath for each one said, his anger slowly slipping away.

“Really, hmm, I can only guess why, though if you planned to take your anger out on me. You’re doing it wrong.”

“Fuck off.”

“I would gladly do so, but I am waiting for someone. So you can leave if you want. I won’t stop you. Just go patch things up with Catalin. And leave me alone.”

“Where do you think I came from? She slammed the door right in my face. Damn near took my fingers . . . the flowers weren’t that lucky though.”

The other sat straighter, flexing the hand from a fist to rub away at their face, pinching their nose as they did so, in thought, before just running the hand through their hair, having the spare one grab the cup that came to the lips that for a pause yawned before sipping. Once the cup was done, just sat there, looking to other, bored as well, having a sigh, before finally speaking.

“What were they?”

“What?” The other spoke back, looking up from his folded arms.

“The flowers, dumb-dumb, Catalin was something some of the students called her in school; The Flower Guru. Always able to know what the flowers read, alone or compare to others, this in some way wrote the message of how the person felt in giving the flowers to someone, or buying them because they felt like it.”

“I don’t know; I just got the ones that were in the pictures she has hung around in her apartment.”

“Which picture?”

“Is this going to be a game of twenty questions?”

“Do you want to get back together with her or not, Roshan, because with how you are acting. Could it really be worth it?”

“I do.”

“Than what picture, or even pictures was it?”

“I think it was a mixture of those that she’s got framed on the table and the one in the bedroom.”

“You are a moron.”

“Well, I guess so. Thank you very much, Sherlock, anything else you like to throw in there. Or are we good, now?”

Roshan, unsure of what else to do, finally sat up straight, arms still folded, but at least he was looking the other in the eyes this time. Tried his face was.

“Put more insult to it? Okay, why don’t give some pink roses too; she would have called the cops on you for being an abuser of the drink. With how she said you were a great listener, you very much don’t take in informing well in that skull of yours.”

“Hey, maybe if just maybe, instead of throwing me under the bus, you could have back up my story about what happen that night. And maybe we won’t be in this spot. Have you ever thought of that, you are in just as deep of a hole, so don’t act so high and mighty because you had a problem with me dating her.”

“I don’t.” The other stated, but gave an empty sigh, before going on. “Personal, who she dates is her own choice. She only gets mad at me, because yes, I was there. It was my home you had your drunken ass pulled to, what matters you think happen and what I told her, while your nursed your hangover . . . how should I say this . . . took a turn for the worst, because of matters that she has trust issues.”

“And somehow, you not getting blame because?”

“You’re not my type, a high degree, might I add. Why else would she date you, have us meet and be all chums about life. Because she’s trust me, oh yes, we fight, but for reasons for she wants me to normal. Which, I find a waste on her part, seeing what it lead to.”

“Tano, not sure I have said yet, but I will say it again, I hate you and you could have helped me out. Lying wouldn’t have been that bad.”

“She has trust issues. Lying would only mad her worry, because when I lie, it is not pretty. I don’t feel like staying in a hospital because your truer self, can’t keep quite.”

Roshan gave a low growl in thought, watching as the other finished up their cup, calling over a waitress, asking for a refill, and one strong black one for his friend, before she left them alone.

“You can pay me back, by going back and making emends with her. You have given her time to cool off, she will likely be reasonable now. I could come . . .”

“Please don’t.”

“But it would seem, after this drink, I must be off and handle some things. Seeing as the person I was waiting for, is not coming. Well, not today, it would seem.”

“What a hot date stood you up?”

Tano only wore a stone face for a second, before cracking into an oddly too sweet smile, to his friend and waitress as she placed the coffee down. Soon, without a flinch, took a slip of his coffee, the smile not breaking before or after the cup was back on the table.

“No. Me? Dating? Never, that would require ways of showing I care for another human being. That is just too much hassle. Besides, with such an oh-so grand human, such as you, the company couldn’t be any better.”

“That face . . . is just not normal.”

“There are a lot of things that are not, but live, for reasons.”
It was than the smile shaped a frown to the other, displeasure on their face. Once more having to run their hand through their hair in a calming matter, focusing on the coffee, letting the burning warmth of the cup, heat up the hands, to a pinkish hue on the pads, in boredom matters.

“How did you and Cat become friends? Even when I asked her, the story makes no sense . . .”

“I wish I knew. Reason, I am always so gleeful—”

“Gleeful?”

“—about when she is planning to date someone. She leaves me alone. Don’t get me wrong, I care deeply for her, and only want the best for her. Yet, no lies, she can be a little nerving. Which, I can only assure that’s why you were under that deep drunk gaze. And found me so . . . likeable. It’s the reason she’ll never be fully mad. At me nor even you, because no matter what, she really does care about you.”

“She uses you. Tano, you got to be a little hurt about that?”

“The only hurt I am feeling, is that she all alone right now, wanting, me to fix things. Like now, because she too scare to it herself, and knows well I have nothing left to lose in this heartache. Well, what-there-of, anyway . . . finish that cup, we should go check on her.”

“And have you as a shield, making me look bad . . . because of one stupid mistake, that she won’t even hear me out. Because of you . . . no thanks, I have had enough head turners to last me a life time.”

“She’s better now. Come on. Deep down, you love her . . .” Tano stood up his seat, seeing the other wasn’t going to move, having the words slip out. “You dated her, longer than most, put up with her and lasted to this point, and finally cross the line, where she thinks you are not worth it. Five years, you think you know someone, long enough to say that . . . if you care, go for it.”

Roshan soon did, finishing his lukewarm coffee, waiting for Tano to head to the counter and pay, along with another tray of tall ones of steaming coffees in a tray, before they headed out the door. Tano took his, handing the cardboard tray to Roshan to take. As they walked, until crossing two four-ways, one of them decides to speak, much to other’s melancholy.

“Who were you waiting for anyway?” Roshan asked, bit in shock for a moment, before having to pick up the pace, to keep in line with the other, who was nursing his drink slowly, glancing ways when seeing that the other was going to speak again. “Hey, come on, after that massive dump you took on me, sharing would be the smart thing to do.”

“Not very much the choice of words I would use. So, I will overlook on that, and just say that of who I was waiting for . . . it is inflexible to explain about. Catalin’s ways be damn of what my bells toil for are just not easy to speak about. Nor even thinking you would see me the same way again.”

“Try me.” Roshan spoke, when seeing Catalin’s apartment building coming to view. Tano didn’t utter a word, the rest of way; it was silence among humans, while the city life lived on without them.

When they were at the entrance, Tano asking his space-head friend to let them in, having a reply to let her think about it, leaving for Tano to spare on fixing up Roshan, quickly as he could; fully ignoring the complaints the other gave, until finally hearing the buzzing tone to let them in.

Once in the elevator, Tano pressed the floor button they needed. Leaning against the railing that lined the area, having Roshan on the other side of the trolley, as it went up; fixing his hold on the coffee tray, letting the soft jazz play on, while the small dings came and went; slowly every ding.

“Tano, who were you waiting for back at the coffee shop?”

“Every coupling organization fields that people deal with, no matter the ages, they happen, and are just so anomalous, the outcomes of how they started or even end, are an unsolved case . . . every one of them. Yet, some get an answer, no matter of meaningless they are; they get the job done. If there were times to stay under a rock and let life keep going, nothing would stop those choices from happening. Nope, because of basic hungers . . . they get the best and end just horrible. The aftermaths of it all, wield emotions that are hard to handle, but get done, because who else is going to solve them?”

Silence came and went, before Tano went on his rant, after getting some breathes in.

“And even then, when they are solved . . . things just move on, as if nothing else matters. Life was everything in the meaning of doing and getting. Carrying memoires on: even after they broke apart from those who made them, because bitter of all ends, happy sweets of beginnings, or even vise versa. Thinking with the glass half full for once, not empty or even just taking a sip, because leaving life is just a long run marathon that chooses to never end. And until what of when it does, than what else is there, between two or more, what else is there, to hold dear and just saying that everything is going to be alright?”

The last words cracked his voice, but he carried on, rising his hand up with the simple sliver band around his ring finger, a size too small, but he paid no mind to it after wearing for so long.

“To on keeping that memory, so small and meaningless . . . to others anyway, because they don’t know the full story. Nerving as hell, but in human wise footing, we don’t give up. Yet, fruitless and overdramatize mistakes have us second guess everything. Why?”

Tano looked to Roshan, as if he even he had a clue of what Tano was spouting about.

Leaving only the jazz music to play on them, Roshan just at a loss of words, on what to say. Shock kept him in place from saying anything, only to watch Tano lean against the wall, eyes going everywhere around him, while his friend was trying to remember the last time, in the five years they knew each other; of when Tano ever sounded so broken about life’s ways, as he putted some times.

They finally reached the floor. The doors parted in an ease glide.

Roshan got out first, looking behind him seeing Tano was still in the elevator. When the doors were about to close, Roshan held them open for the others, but it didn’t last long, before hearing Tano speak again.

“My children . . . I was waiting for them, hoping who has them would let me see them. No matter how much that person hates, I still care, even if they move away of reasons that were out of my hands to handle. I didn’t fight, because it was clear as day, that it would never work, but I care for them. They know too. Yet, damn that yet, it didn’t work out that way. Never would because of emotions over take the human logic, and away that goes. That person, who fooled me for so long, saw right through it and look where it got me? I give up my unneeded items to have a slice of what you two and everyone else has, that makes life so happy for them. To have them by my side, seeing, what we have and where it could, if given the chance. That happiness of life, understand or not, Catalin and you, have things figured out better than I do.”

Tano spared the moment, to have Roshan’s hand removed from blocking the elevators from shutting, replacing with his own hand, letting some final words be spoken.

“What you and Catalin have is something I couldn’t even beg to have. Catalin is everything I will never be, and for that I embrace it, hoping. Reason she puts up with me, a student and teacher we are to each other. And you . . . are what make her the person you love, and you know it. Embrace this madness of understandable love, and savor it.”

“What about . . .”

“Petty never was my thing. Nor my type in dealing with others, not now or ever . . . savor what madness that form between you two.”

“You can’t put your life on pause, for this, why didn’t you just ditch me and go to them?”

Tano let a smile, small and frail go on his face, eyes filled with sorrow they couldn’t really understand of how this person could still be standing, and with the weight it must have been given.

“That’s not what was agreed on. Not worth the risk, and from afar, they look happy. Why destroy a world . . . that doesn’t need me around as an ember? No I couldn’t do that and this was the last chance for that. And now it is gone.”

“No fight?”

Tano shook his head, smile still in place, hand removed, letting the door slowly closed before he said his final words.

“Was there ever? Good luck . . . Daisies and lilies next time, moron.”

To that, Roshan was alone in the hallways, shoulders slanted down as he headed to Catalin’s room. Fixing the tray to keep it up and knocked on her door. After some silence, the door finally opened.

“Hi! Roshan, some of the flowers you got me I still have them, and you know apart they are very lovely. You are so sweet and . . . oh! You brought coffee, so sweet of you, come on in! I think I have some muffins to go with these, you have a favorite?”

The mistake was already forgotten. Tano wasn’t kidding, and that only spread dreaded through him, but for the sake of it, pushed it away.

“With a madness day like this, it doesn’t matter, learned that from the best.”

“Reminds, I need to call Tano, make sure he comes by later. Snacks, movies, Sue Bots, Match Stocks! The whole shebang, the three of us! What do you think?”

“I love that idea, fits you.”

“Thank you!”

The End

 

 

 

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