C’mon, people…it’s just a teaser trailer!(By Les)

Greetings, Manic Fans. Les here to talk a little bit about the Star Wars Episode VII Teaser Trailer. It came out last Friday, and has already gotten over 26 Million hits….and just as many flame comments. If you didn’t see it(Yeah, right…as if….) Take a look right here

OK, so to recap: Some quick shots of….

 

1.  A helmetless black actor in Stormtrooper armor in what looks like the dessert of Tattooine.

2.  A CGI droid moving on what looks like a metallic soccer ball.

3.  Quick shots of a regiment of new Stormtroopers arriving and disembarking from a transport of some kind.

4.  A new heroine jumping on some kind of speeder bike and taking off.

5.  3 X-Wing fighters skimming a lake.

6.  A dark hooded figure seen from behind creeping through dark forest and activating a red lightsaber with 2 additional “blades” where a broadsword hilt guard would be.

And then

7.  A longer shot of the Millenium Falcon doing a barrelroll loop de loop over Tattooine dessert into 2 Tie Fighters.

 

All those scenes were played over a John Williams composition that sounded suspiciously like the music from “Return of the Jedi” where Luke steps out on the plank over the Sarlaac right before R2 flings him his lightsaber. Then the main title, the Star Wars logo letters and “The Force Awakens” appearing between the words. Followed by “December 2015” and exit to black with a lightsaber activation sound effect.

 

And then the troll comments flew.

 

OMG! I’m not kidding. Everything from “What’s a black Stormtrooper doing in this?” to “What’s up with the stupid new lightsaber” was flamed over. Purists were arguing whether Stormtroopers were clones or not. People were maligning JJ Abrams for screwing up Star Wars(from a 90 second teaser?) WTF?People were arguing whether the Force could be dormant and then awakened, since it’s all around us. Those who did were, themselves, flamed and those who loved it were trolled.

 

What can I deduce from this? Simple.

 

This film’s going to break a billion dollars in the first week.

 

Any time a film can generate this much controversy, it will break all previous records when it’s released(Just look at the Transformers films….on second thought, don’t…..bad example….moving on….). However, be that as it may, I want to address all the asinine statements I’m reading in those comments. I can probably do this easiest by going point by point through the trailer and being specific.

 

OK, first shot.

That black man is actor

John Boyega.

He’s playing an unnamed yet key role in the film. My thought is that he’s one of the new heroes and he’s in that stormtrooper armor as a disguise(Much like Han and Luke did in Episode IV: A New Hope when the Millenium Falcon was captured by the Death Star tractor beam). Whether he’s there in disguise on a mission or just trying to escape is unclear, but he will be a major player in the new series.

 

The argument about there being no black Stormtroopers is just ignorance from those claiming that Stormtroopers are clones of Jango Fett like in the prequels. To clear that shit up: NO, THEY AREN’T! By the time of “A New Hope,” The Empire was drafting or accepting enlistments for the Stormtrooper forces. Additionally, anyone complaining about a black character in a Star Wars film should refer to 2 major characters:

 

Lando Calrissian(Billy Dee Williams).

Administrator of Cloud City on Bespin, he helped rescue Han Solo from Jabba The Hut and blew up the second Death Star…major character.

 

And Mace Windu(Samuel L Jackson).

Jedi Master on the Jedi Council, he was second in command after Master Yoda, was THE Master of the 7th form of Lightsaber style: Vapaad and almost defeated the Emperor in their confrontation….major character.

 

Nobody complained about them. Why start flame wars over a black character in Star Wars now?

 

OK, next shot.

The CGI droid rolling by a background of Mos…something city on Tattooine. I’m not sure what to think about this one TBH. It’s just rolling along. There’s no context story wise. Is it a good guy droid, or a villain droid? It’s too soon to tell. However, it is pretty ridiculous looking.

 

Moving on….

The new Stormtroopers. The shots are cut really quick. First the helmets have been redesigned again and they look pretty bad assed. The blasters look upgraded too. The basic armor resembles the classic look of the original trilogy, so the only question left to ask is: Can these Stormtroopers hit their targets?

 

Next shot.

That girl is actress

Daisy Ridley.

She’s playing an unnamed yet key role in the new series. She mounts and takes off in a speeder bike that resembles a giant block with a seat behind it. One clever comment referred to it as a flying fudgescicle.

I have to concur. I prefer the old speeder bike designs, but it’s irrelevant without knowing the context in the story. She looks good in her role. I’m looking forward to learning more about her when the film comes out.

 

Next shot.

An X-wing pilot with rebel helmet is in the pilot seat flying and then cuts to exterior shot of 3 X-wings skimming a lake surface creating enormous fantails from their engine exhaust. The planet could possibly be Naboo, as the mountains around the lake resemble the ones around the lake from “Episode II: Attack of the Clones,” when Padme went into protective custody with Anakin after her failed assassination attempt. However, it’s way to soon to be sure as it’s reported several new planets will be introduced in the new Star Wars universe.

 

Next shot.

The hooded dark figure is so obviously a Sith Lord, don’t even bother raising an argument that he isn’t LOL! If the hood didn’t convince you, then the lightsaber did. Sith sabers are always Red. Darth Maul, Darth Tyrannus, Darth Sidious, Darth Vader….see where I’m going? Now we could argue all day about the 2 extra blades that resemble the broadsword hilt guard. Some are claiming it to be a religious statement against Christianity….seriously? So a red lightsaber that makes an upside down crucifix is a statement against Christianity?….I think you have entirely too much time on your hands to come up with that parallel. People….it’s a bad assed new Sith Light Saber design! Darth Maul had the two sided saber wilded like a Japanese Bo. Darth Tyrannus(Count Dooku) had a lightsaber with an epee hilt wielded like a fencer. This new Sith has a lightsaber like a Medieval Broadsword. Deal with it. I think it looks wicked.

 

Next shot.

OK, a really awesome shot of the Millenium Falcon. Note that it has a new radar to replace the one Lando knocked off in the Death Star run in “Return of the Jedi.” It’s a new model…more like an aircraft carrier radar. I’ll have to get used to it, but that’s a small nit-pick. The shot is done with flaws in it like a hand-held camera. This is, no doubt JJ Abrams’ influence like he used in the new Star Trek films. The shot looks like it was “live captured.” Fortunately, no lens flares were in the shot. That really would’ve brought out more flame comments, I think. I gotta be honest. SQUEEEEEEE!!!! THE MILLENIUM FALCON IS BACK! WOOT!!!!!!! 😀

 

So, that’s my take on the various clips in the teaser trailer. Can I predict how good or bad the film will be from it. OF COURSE NOT! That’s why it’s a teaser. Teasers are designed to pique your interest. Until the next Trailer comes out. It’s all conjecture and WAGs(Wild assed guesses). All these people who are predicting the film will suck are drawing conclusions without any legitimate reasons beyond being turned off from a 90 second quick cut teaser. Lighten up, will ya? With over a year to go before this film is released, every single scene you just saw could disappear and be replaced with new ones. Why not wait to unleash your venom until you can actually see the film and then draw conclusions based on actual experience? I assure you, that’s what I intend to do. I also intend to see this in IMAX on opening day.

 

What do you think, my friends? How did you feel about this teaser? I’d love to hear your opinions. Peace….and May the Force be with You.