On this episode, the guys see what luxurious cars you can get for $5,000, Tanner tests the Porsche 911 GT2 RS, and Arlene Tur is in the Suzuki.

Segment 1: The $5,000 Luxury Cars

Ferrari 308 GTBi Replica
Rolls-Royce Silver Shadow
Jaguar XJ-S

The show starts off in Atlantic City. The guys would have to buy a luxurious car for $5,000 then drive them to the Hamptons, a place for the rich and famous. Adam arrives first with a 1972 Rolls-Royce Silver Shadow. The gas flap opens when Adam bangs on the rear of the car. Tanner arrives next with a 1982 Jaguar XJ-S. Tanner’s Jag has a Chevy 350 cubic inch small block engine, not the V12 that normally came with the car. Rutledge arrives last with a Ferrari 308 GTBi Replica. Rutledge says there is a little bit of Pontiac Fiero in his car. Adam has to get into his Rolls through the passenger door because the driver door will not open. The guys would have to drive to an airport 50 miles away from the meeting point. Adam says his seat in the Rolls does not move back. The A/C does not work. The brakes are poor. It does glide like a shadow, according to Adam. Adam says Tanner drives to the country club while he owns the country club. Tanner says the car is pretty quick for a comfortable car. The tachometer and speedometer do not work. The horn does not work. Rutledge says that his kit car is not that off from a real Ferrari 308 GTBi. The car was so close to the real thing that Ferrari sued the company that made the 308 kit cars. His replica car has poor speed and acceleration. A driver passes by and gives Rutledge the finger. Adam says that Congress moves faster than Rutledge’s car. Rutledge says he is driving a true exotic car. Adam says that Rutledge is driving a Ferrari on the outside and a Pontiac on the inside. Rutledge is driving a vehicular transvestite. The guys arrive at the first challenge. Rutledge says that is great to be a Ferrari owner, even though he is driving a Ferrari replica. There is no way one could get a Ferrari for $5,000. The price range for a used 308 GTB is $20,000-$40,000.

Segment 2: Top Speed Run

The guys have to drive the length of the runway and try to get their cars close to their original top speed. The original top speed for the Rolls was 112 mph. Rutledge says he will do 123 mph, the top speed of a Fiero, on his way to 144 mph, the top speed of the 308 GTBi. The Jags original top speed was 142 mph with a V12. Tanner says that Adam is straddling the yellow line, which means he has to go first. Adam goes first and reaches a top speed of 85 and then needed a lot of room to stop. Tanner goes next and does a burnout. Rutledge asks why Tanner always has to do burnouts. Adam replies, “Because he has a small dick.” His speedometer read 148 mph. Rutledge says he can do 149 mph. Rutledge goes, but very slow. He hit 55 mph. Rutledge says he has the best looking car out of the three, even though his car has no power. The guys drive to the Hamptons and see which car(s) fit in. The guys arrive at the Bridge Golf Club, an exclusive club where the membership costs $750,000. The Ferrari replica was leaking oil. The guys get their next task.

Segment 3: Appealing Test

The guys have to see which of their cars is the most appealing to Hamptonites. Whoever drives the most Hamptonites in their cars within the one hour time limit wins. They guys drive off. Tanner asks, “How do we know if they are Hamptonites?” Adam replies, “They’ll be looking down on you.” The guys must chauffeur gals from a beauty salon to a gala at the golf club. All three arrive at the beauty salon. Adam gets two ladies in the back of his Rolls. Rutledge gets one lady in his “Ferrari” and Tanner asks if the car is on fire or if she asks if she smells fire. Rutledge says that the smell is coming from Tanner’s car. Rutledge says to hold on as he accelerates. The lady is just embarrassed to be in the “Ferrari.” In the Rolls, the passengers ask if Adam could turn on the A/C. Adam says that the A/C carries a lot of germs. Adam says that he can go faster and the ladies say “No!” Rutledge keeps explaining that women are attracted to Ferraris and his “Ferrari” backfires. The car shuts off. The ladies in the Rolls ask to get out of the car. Returning to the studio, Tanner says that he has the best car since he won the speed test. Tanner says if you spend a little bit more than $5,000 on car, you could get a Porsche 911 GT3 RS. Tanner then says that Porsche came out with an even faster car this year.

Segment 4: Porsche 911 GT2 RS

Porsche 911 GT2 RS

Tanner starts the segment by saying that the 911 GT2 RS is the fastest, most powerful car ever made by Porsche. Porsche engineers called the project “The Beast.” This 911 produces over 620 hp and reaches a top speed of 205 mph. 0-60 time for this car is 3.4 seconds. The GT2 RS weighs just over 3,000 lbs. The GT2 RS is 400 lbs lighter than the next model down from the GT2 RS, the Porsche 911 Turbo. To lighten this car, the rear seats were removed, the four-wheel drive system became a rear-wheel drive system, and the metal Porsche badge is now a sticker. The price for this car is $245,000. Porsche will be making 500 GT2 RS and all of them have been sold. Like all 911s, the engine is in the rear of the car. The car is practical compared to other supercars. There is storage in the front of the car. Visibility is second-to-none and the car is pretty comfortable while sitting in traffic and on the track. Tanner says this car was built to test the moxie of the driver. He also says that it does not fell like there is 620 hp and that there is no drama from the car. Tanner was expected to be scared. Tanner says that when Porsche made the car practical, it cut of the horns of the beast. Tanner goes from a track with the temperature of 161 degrees Fahrenheit to downtown Los Angeles at midnight. The temperature was 60 degrees. Tanner has cops to close the streets down. Tanner says that he is not doing this for himself and that he will not enjoy this. The light turns green and Tanner unleashes “The Beast.” He says it is awesome. Tanner arrives to a light and a 1969 Chevrolet Nova and a 2009 Dodge Viper  SRT10 pull up next to him. The light turns green and the Porsche whipped the competition. Tanner does victory donuts. Tanner says the 911 GT2 RS lives up to its name. He says that in 45 years, there has never been a bad 911, something that cannot be said about Corvettes, Ferraris, or Lamboghinis. Tanner says there is a balance between livable supercar and ultimate driving utensil.

Segment 5: Return to the Hamptons

Adam says that some are doing better than others and says that people just don’t want to be driven around by a dentist car, i.e. the Jag. Tanner says he did get off to a slow start, but things are picking up. Returning to the Hamptons, Rutledge arrives at the golf club with his first passenger, while Adam’s passengers walked off. Back at the beauty salon, Tanner finally gets his first passenger. Rutledge arrives to get his next passenger, who asks if it is a real Ferrari. Rutledge says that it says Ferrari on the car. The passenger says that she has a friend who has similar car, but it feels different than Rutledge’s car. Adam arrives and picks up two more passengers. Rutledge is still having troubles with his “Ferrari.” Tanner is happy that his passenger just jumped right into the Jag. Adam’s passengers say that they are smelling smoke from the Rolls. Adam says the smell will be gone once he picks up speed. Tanner’s passenger asks if it is a V8, then Tanner lets his passenger feel the thunder of the engine. She is enjoying the ride. Rutledge drops off his second passenger at the golf club. Tanner and his passenger discuss her relationship with her man. Rutledge has his third passenger and ask her if she can feel the power. She questions if it is a real Ferrari. Adam arrives at the golf club and drops of his two passengers. Rutledge drops off his third passenger. Tanner arrives and his passenger is driving the Jag. Tanner is the only one to get a hug from his passenger.Tanner says that reason she was driving the Jag is because she wanted to buy the car. Rutledge noticed a hickey on Tanner’s neck. After one hour, Tanner managed just one passenger, Adam got two passengers to the golf club and two that wanted out of the Rolls. Rutledge won with three passengers delivered in his “Ferrari.”

Segment 6: Arlene Tur Crashes the Top Gear Set

Arlene Tur, of Torchwood: Miracle Day, Eat Pray Love and Crash fame, was this week’s Big Star, Small Car guest. She drives the Suzuki around a moist track, hits the flag while crossing the finish line, and then arrives on the Top Gear stage. She hit two cones, scared a cameraman, and hit the flag. Her daily driver is a Jeep Wrangler. Her dream cars would be the Shelby Cobra and the Mercedes-Benz G-Wagen Convertible. She will get into any car and cares more about the guy than the car he is driving. She explains Torchwood: Miracle Day and how everyone deals with nobody dying. She says the Suzuki is nice she could not believe how fast it goes around corners. She thinks she did terrible, but her time was 1:42.4. That is the fastest time around the track by any guest. She cannot believe that she was that fast and kept saying that she won. She says that it does not mean that she was good, it meant that the others were not as daring. Adam says that her dream car is a Suzuki, which responded, “A red Suzuki.” Adam says that the Suzuki is not the presenters dream car. Their dream cars look more like this, and the show returns to the Hamptons.


Segment 7: Build Quality Test


The guys drive their cars from the Hamptons to New Jersey City, New Jersey and arrive at a car graveyard. To test the build quality of the cars, they will be placed under an electromagnet. Fewest parts lost wins. Rutledge smiles because his car is made of fiberglass. The Rolls went first and lost the trunk and the jack, which did not count since it is an accessory. The “Ferrari” went next and lost nothing. Tanner did not believe the magnet was on and threw a metal can, which stuck to the magnet. Tanner says that Rutledge’s car is so cheap that it does not have enough metal to react to the magnet. The Jag went last and lost the trunk and windshield wipers. Rutledge won. And to end the show, Rutledge introduces the “Ferrari.” Adam says to tell the audience what it really is, a 308 p.o.s. Rutledge says that it is a winner. Tanner says that the only reason Rutledge won because his car was made of plastic. Tanner also says that he could have won with a Big Wheel. Rutledge says that Tanner should have brought a Big Wheel. The show ends.



Overall, this was an entertaining episode. It was above average for a Top Gear US episode, although still not up to the standards of a Top Gear UK episode. There were more entertaining parts than boring parts. The GT2 RS was up to par with Top Gear UK car reviews. I have to deduct points for not having the Stig drive the Porsche around the track. The speed test was predictable. The build quality test was flawed since plastic and fiberglass will not react to a magnet. The interaction between the presenters was better than usual. The jokes came at the expense of Rutledge and his “Ferrari.” The Hamptonites even knew that what Rutledge had was not a real Ferrari. Like I said, you cannot get a real Ferrari for $5,000. A real Ferrari 308 is listed at $20,000-$40,000. I think that the Jag was the best among the three cars because it did not have A/C issues, had smoke coming from the car, and it was the real deal, eventhough the V12 was replaced by a 350 cubic inch Chevy small-block engine. This is what Top Gear is about. No trucks or 4x4s in this episode. There was a Porsche supercar, a Jaguar, a Rolls-Royce, and a “Ferrari.” Next week we find out what kind of car you can get for $500 and Rutledge tests the CTS-V.



Final Verdict: 7 Stigs out of 10. This was a good and entertaining episode, but it was lacking the Stig. When Top Gear tests a modern car, the Stig does a test lap and we see how fast it is around the test track. Top Gear US made the exact same mistake with the Honda CR-Z and the three American Pickups. I think that the Porsche would have had a faster lap time than the Viper, which sits atop the power lap board. I guess Top Gear US would not allow a car made in another country sit atop the power lap board. Plus there have been better episodes from Top Gear US than this episode. Plus, the speed test and build quality test bring down the score for this episode.



Originally written on September 5, 2011


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