Bloodshot is not only the official launch of this independent rollout of all my work — it was the launch of me as a writer. Though it wasn’t the first story I ever wrote, it was easily the most important to my development as a storyteller.
Initially written in 2002 when I was only 22 years old, Bloodshot is the portrait of a young expectant father in extremis. My marriage was on shaky ground, I was grinding away in a dead-end job, and I felt woefully unprepared to raise a child.
The original concept was very different. I thought I was writing a vampire story — hence the title Bloodshot. But as the work progressed, the story of Will and Megan Stevenson evolved into something deeper and more existential. They don’t battle bloodsuckers. Instead, they confront the embodiments of their own emotions: the seductive Cindy (Doubt) and the haunting Smoke (Fear). You can read it as literal supernatural encounters, or as metaphors for the voices we all carry inside our heads.
What Bloodshot is about: Megan and Will Stevenson are young parents with big dreams, but their hopes are slowly being crushed under the weight of bills, responsibilities, and quiet resentment.
Then, into each of their lives, a stranger appears with the promise of renewed passion.
For Megan, it is Smoke — a phantom whose whispers push her to the edge of sanity.
For Will, it is Cindy — a siren who offers the ultimate liberation.
One night will force them to choose between the broken life they know… and the beautiful oblivion that waits just beyond.
The long, strange road to this release: Bloodshot started life as a screenplay. Cameras rolled in 2003, with me directing and starring as Will. My wife at the time played Megan, and our newborn daughter played baby Joy. We shot for six grueling months… only for most of the footage to be stolen by our editor. I foolishly didn’t have backups, and a huge chunk of the film was lost forever.
In 2006 I tried again. To legitimize a new production, I adapted the screenplay into a novella and self-published it through Xlibris so I could tell potential backers it was “based on a novel.” That edition came out in early 2006. Incidentally, do not buy that version of the book, which is still available. If you’re searching for this new release, it’ll be called Bloodshot: A Manic Expression Story.
We cast the film with the incredible actors you now see on the new cover: Elizabeth Williams as Megan, Josh McDermott as Will, Mor Vick as Cindy, and Yuri Balder as Smoke. I even got a soft “maybe” from Willem Dafoe’s agent for him to play Sergio. An initial meeting with Christopher Münch (director of the award-winning The Hours and the Times) seemed promising, but he was ultimately unable to commit. I went with Leo Zanis (Approaching Heaven) to direct.
Meetings with producers followed throughout 2006, but every offer came with the same catch: they loved my cast for (unpaid) workshopping… but planned to replace them with bigger names once the money was real. I couldn’t do that to people I’d come to see as friends. I wound up walking away from three potentially lucrative but highly unethical opportunities.
Bloodshot went on to become the lead story in the first Manic Expression two-volume collection in 2008 — the nexus point for the entire connected universe. I’ve been building on that foundation ever since.
In 2012, Manic-Expression.com launched and exploded in popularity. In 2013, a dozen incredibly talented members helped me turn Bloodshot into a full audio drama — finally giving the story the cast performance I’d always envisioned.
Twenty-five years after I first tried to tell Will and Megan’s story, I’m still here. Still pursuing the dream. Bloodshot is a story about not giving up on your dreams — even when the world (and your own doubts) tell you to quit.
And now it’s back, in a new edition, as the first release of my full catalog: 50 short stories, 7 collections, 3 novels, a children’s book, and more.
If you’ve ever felt trapped between responsibility and the life you imagined… if you’ve ever fought your own inner demons of doubt and fear… this one’s for you.
Reply and let me know when you start reading — I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Thank you for being here at the very beginning of this rollout. New releases every week!
Here’s to never giving up,
James Daniel Walsh
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