(Guitar music like “American Idiot” plays as James Faraci and Paulo Fonseca on guitars, Andrew Beach on Bass Guitar, and Nick Lopez on the Drums and the set is like the set of “American Idiot” except the colors are Patriotically Red, White, and Blue)
James Faraci (Singing):
All year we’re cheering American Icons! (Guitars play the tune for three seconds.) Twelve months of heroes of Cinema! (Guitars play the tune for three seconds.) From John Wayne to Rocky Balboa (Guitars play the tune for three seconds.) Oh, hell yeah, we’re talking about them all! (The tune continues) [Chorus] Welcome to the two hundred and fiftieth, hoping we’ll see two fifty-one! And we can finally be Okay! Humans dream of a better tomorrow, knowing it won’t be hollow! For me that’s good enough! (Drums play and the music continues.) We’re going to show off the hard work! (Guitars play the tune for three seconds.) Even if it makes me look like a real jerk. (Guitars play the tune for three seconds.) Now everyone get ready to celebrate with us! (Guitars play the tune for three seconds.) And make sure you have a dose of common sense. (The tune continues) [Chorus] Welcome to the two hundred and fiftieth, hoping we’ll see two fifty-one! And we can finally be Okay! Humans dream of a better tomorrow, knowing it won’t be hollow! For me that’s good enough! (Drums play and the music continues with a guitar solo.) All year we’re cheering American Icons! Twelve months of heroes of Cinema! Information about them will be a lot, you’re going to know whether you like or not [Chorus] Welcome to the two hundred and fiftieth, hoping we’ll see two fifty-one! And we can finally be Okay! Humans dream of a better tomorrow, knowing it won’t be hollow! For me that’s good enough! (Drums play and the music continues and concludes and the words “Americans Icons” are put up in different styles of text. The scene cuts to James as he tries to contact Todd In The Shadows. Cut to Todd In The Shadows)
Todd In The Shadows:
Hello? (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
Hey Todd, I could use some help. (Cut to Todd In The Shadows.)
Todd In The Shadows:
Let me guess, you want to review a musical featuring John Wayne. Or if I know where one is? And before you ask, YES, I am aware of your three-month John Wayne bullshit and twelve months of propaganda about “Real Icons” of “American Cinema,” and all that bullshit. (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
What I’m reviewing right now is an album BY John Wayne. Maybe you and I could team up? (Cut to Todd In The Shadows)
Todd In The Shadows:
Give me a moment to listen through, in the meantime, do some research, and we’ll meet back in an hour or two from now. (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
Okay. (Cut to a black screen and the words “Two Hours Later,” Cut to James as he contacts Todd In The Shadows. Cut to Todd In The Shadows laughing uproariously, even banging on his keyboard and falling out of frame. Cut to James)
TLOTA:
Okay, so I am doing this alone
TLOTA:
Before we continue, let me see if Todd In The Shadows is even okay at this point. (Static cuts to Nash Bozard.)
Nash Bozard of “Radio Dead Air” and “WTFIWWY”:
Hello? (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
Nash Bozard of WTFIWWY/Radio Dead Air? Where’s Todd In The Shadows? (Cut to Nash)
Nash Bozard of “Radio Dead Air” and “WTFIWWY”:
Yeah, I piggybacked off his frequency when I decided to check on Todd when I saw him just laugh uncontrollably. Currently, he’s in a hospital for extreme dehydration and lack of oxygen, and loss of bowel function. Did you have something to do with it? (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
All I did was ask if he would like to crossover with me. (Cut to Nash)
Nash Bozard of “Radio Dead Air” and “WTFIWWY”:
What was the subject of the crossover? (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
It’s an album called “America, Why I Love Her” by John Wayne. (Cut to Nash)
Nash Bozard of “Radio Dead Air” and “WTFIWWY”:
John Wayne, the old racist and sexist cowboy actor, made an album called “America, Why I Love Her.” Well, I can see why Todd is currently in the hospital. Because that must be the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard in my LIFE! (Nash begins to laugh uncontrollably and falls out of his chair!Before I continue, let me check in on Nash and Todd, if they’re okay. (Static cuts to Rowdy.)
Rowdy:
Hey James, I just got a contact from Nash and Todd In The Shadows. They just wanted to let you know it took everything I knew about you to keep you in their good graces. Can I ask why that is? (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
I needed a partner to review an album. (Cut to Rowdy)
Rowdy:
What’s it called? (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
It’s called “America, Why I Love Her” by John Wayne. (Cut to Rowdy laughing outrageously.)
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