(Scene begins with a smartwatch screen and a finger as it taps the screen and the 1994 American Gladiators plays as the scene cuts to a hand as it taps an app on his phone as it opens a portal.)
(It cuts to James and the characters he’s played until it cut to his face and the credit of “James Faraci” is shown as it cuts to “The Last Of The Americans’” current iteration then slides away to different images of Paulo Fonseca, Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca Yaun, Nick Yaun and the characters they’ve played until it cut to their faces. The credits of “Paulo and Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca and Nick Yaun” are shown then slides away to different images of Doug Yaun and Crosslyn Castillo, Nick Lopez and Jessica Lopez-Barkl and the characters they’ve played, until it cuts to their faces.)
(After that, the credits “Doug Yaun and Crosslyn Castillo, Nick Lopez and Jessica Lopez-Barkl” are shown, as it then slides away to different images of Andrew Beach Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller and Olivia Horvath. Following this, the credits of “Andrew Beach, Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller, Olivia Horvath” are shown as the 0:00-0:21 mark of the theme song plays.)
(Everything becomes a swirl of reds, whites, and blues, as the credits “Produced by First Choice Entertainment Productions in association with Manic-Expression.com”; “Executive Producers: James Faraci, Paulo Fonseca, Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca Yaun, Nick Yaun, Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller, Andrew Beach & Olivia Horvath”; “Editing by Eric Kurtzke and James Faraci”; “Written and Directed by James Faraci” are shown, as the 0:21-0:26 mark of the theme song plays.)
(We then see an image of James as he jumps through the portal and lands with half of his team on his right. The other half on his left is on a black background. Finally, the title “THE LAST OF THE AMERICANS” is shown Lazer etched into Titanium as the last six seconds of the American Gladiators 1994 theme song plays.)
(Cut to James in his office)
TLOTA:
I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans, and the views I’m about to express are that of my own, and some of yours. Mystery Science Theater 3000! (Cut to clips of “MST3K” Shorts as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
While its future is uncertain for now, its legacy still speaks volumes. And to be honest, it’s a feat that they are able to get us laughing and make our own jokes for ninety minutes! That’s right, ninety minutes! That’s if you take out the commercial breaks, and sometimes, there is a challenge; sometimes, they need something to help with the run time, and that’s where shorts come in. In the first couple of seasons, they had serialized shorts featuring Commander Cody, Bela Lugosi in “The Phantom Creeps,” and the “Undersea Kingdom,” until they found shorts that were Public Domain and able to be shown even if they were able to syndicate and put the show on the home market. And Today, I am counting down the Top Ten Shorts from MST3K. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
So let’s get the biggest laughs from the shortest portions of MST3K. These are the top ten shorts featured on MST3K!
TLOTA:
This is a guitar! Oh no! (The Camera zooms to James’ face) OH NO! (Cut to the clip of Mr. B Natural popping up, and the MST3K team jumps back in fear as the first thirty seconds of “Night on Bald Mountain” by Modest Mussorgsky play in the foreground. Cut to James as he screams! Cut to the clip of Mr. B Natural as it comes to the kid, and it says, “Fun! Fun! Fun!” And Crow shouts, “Uh, that’s nice, MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!” Cut to James as he tosses his guitar into the air and screams in fear! Cut to the clip of Mr. B Natural as he shouts for “MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!” as Mr. B Natural jump cuts to holding instruments. Cut to James as he screams again, only to be clocked in the head with the guitar and collapses.)
Which shorts from MST3K were the best riffed? Find out here
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