(The Scene begins with a woodpecker; it then cuts to a sawmill as we see blades being sharpened; then to the outskirts of a town with the sign “Welcome to Triple Crest, Minnesota.” and over the triple crests that seem to meet in harmony with the background and the words “The Last Of The Americans presents: Monstertober 2025.” appear in the foreground in the same text style as “Twin Peaks.”)
(With the scenes mirroring the introduction to “Twin Peaks” as it shows the cast which includes “James Faraci,” “Paulo and Brenda Fonseca,” “Rebecca and Nick Yaun,” “Renee Miller,” “Andrew Beach,” Doug Yaun,” “Olivia Horvath,” “Eric Kurtzke,” “Crosslyn Castillo,” “Nick Lopez,” “Jessica Lopez-Barkl,” “Angelina Morelli,” “Phil Leviste,” ”Joe Colon,” “And Allysia Watts as Sgt Nicolette Angelinas,” “Special Guest Star Lewis Lovhaug as Linkara” and “And Chris Lee Moore as Rowdy”)
(The introduction scenes continue to mirror the “Twin Peaks” intro which shows the crew which includes “Produced by First Choice Entertainment Productions and Manic-Expression.com” “Executive Producers: James Faraci, Paulo Fonseca, Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca Yaun, Nick Yaun, Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller, Andrew Beach & Olivia Horvath”; “Editing by Eric Kurtzke and James Faraci”; “Written and Directed by James Faraci”. The intro ends with James walking in the red room and finding a seat as Rowdy comes in dancing weirdly.)
TLOTA:
What the hell? (Rowdy sits in front of James, looking at him.)
Rowdy (talking weirdly and subtitled):
You’re on the right course, but you need time. (Cut to James as he raises his right eyebrow and it cuts back to Rowdy.) Murders must happen to solve the case of Tara! (Cut to James sitting there confused.) We are going to go wild! (James walks away, confused and scared, as James begins to run in the red room, and he hits a gigantic man as he says, “The TWA is not what it seems!” James gets back up and runs around, finding himself trapped in the red room as a squad of Linkaras run toward him, screaming “GET OUT OF HERE!” repeatedly, cut to James as he screams. Cut to James waking up in his cabin room as he looks around in a cold sweat.)
TLOTA:
Wow, what a nightmare. (Rowdy says, “You’re not whistling Dixie on that one!” as James turns and screams, and then Rowdy screams multiple times over a three-second period as Sgt. Angelinas walks in and sees James in his underwear, and Rowdy then screams. All three scream for five more seconds.) Time out on the screaming! Nicolette Angelinas, this is my associate Rowdy. One second! (James grabs his watch morpher and morphs into his Halloween mode.) Sorry about seeing me in my boxer briefs and tee shirt. Rowdy, this is Sgt. Nicolette Angelinas and What are you doing here?
Rowdy:
Well I had heard you were coming here and I told Linkara, he was not happy!
TLOTA:
Linkara can kiss our collective asses! We’re going to solve this murder whether he likes it or not! (Cut to Sgt. Nicolette Angelinas)
Sgt. Nicolette Angelinas:
Actually, there are two more unsolved deaths to deal with, remember the couple that played “Romeo” and “Juliet”? They just died. Let’s get to the scene. (Cut to the heads of the two as the car is over the embankment.)
TLOTA:
So the official details on this are that they were speeding, hit this branch, and the car went over. Well, I would believe that if the cut marks around the necks weren’t so clean as if their heads were cut off by a sword marked, “Property of Connor MacLeod.” So the two…
A Woman (Off-Screen):
[Beat] Annie Scraper and Michael Bomber
TLOTA:
That’s their names? Who just said that? (Cut to Sgt. Angelinas and Ladybird Johnson played by Angelina Morelli)
Sgt. Nicolette Angelinas:
Remember the inebriate from last night, this is her. Officer Ladybird Johnson.
Ladybird Johnson:
A pleasure to meet you both. I know the people here, the one-eyed hotel owner? Her name is Brenda and she’s a third cousin of the Hayseed family three times removed. The greaser gang that helps the police consists of cousins from another side of one family. The Log-Lady shop owner is a cousin’s brother’s nephew’s former roommate. (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
Okay, I get the picture, Chief! (Cut to Chief Johnson as he looks at James. Cut back to James.) I suggest we establish a cordon, open one lane of traffic, and then get the remains for examination. (Cut to Sgt. Angelinas and Officer Johnson.)
Officer Johnson:
Well according to what was commented on by James to Ted Messager is that we are not to comment on the situation. (Cut to a car as it is driven by Steven Schiller)
Steven:
“For never was there a story of more woe of Juliet and her Romeo!” Isn’t that how the play ended? Such a tragedy, two of our finest taken in the prime of their lives. No comment on the accident. (Cut to Sgt. Angelinas)
Sgt. Nicolette Angelinas:
That is the official statement we have given to the local press. (Cut to Steven Schiller as he drives off as “Romeo Had Juliette” by Lou Reed plays. Cut to James and Rowdy as they examine the remains.)
Rowdy:
There were certain things that I never thought I would have to do working with you all these years, James. Playing Medical Examiner and CSI was on the very long list of things I thought I wouldn’t have to do.
TLOTA:
Whatever we must do to solve Tara Lovhaug’s death.
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