(Scene begins as a finger taps an app on a watch as it opens a portal the 1994 American Gladiators theme song plays , and it cuts to different images of James as the characters he’s played until it cuts to his face and the credit of “James Faraci” is shown as it cuts to “The Last Of The Americans’” current iteration then slides away to different images of Paulo Fonseca, Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca Yaun, and Nick Yaun as the characters they’ve played until it cut to their faces and the credits of “Paulo and Brenda Fonseca & Rebecca and Nick Yaun” is shown as it then slides away to different images of John Ross and Mike Santos, Andrew Beach, and Ed Champion as the characters they’ve played until it cut to their faces and the credits of “John Ross Santos, Mike Santos, Andrew Beach, Ed Champion” is shown as it then slides away to different images of Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller and Olivia Horvath and the credits of “Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller, Olivia Horvath” is shown as the 0:00-0:21 mark of the theme song plays. Everything becomes a swirl of Reds, Whites, and Blues as the credits “Produced by First Choice Productions. Edited by Eric Kurtzke and Paulo Fonseca. Written and Directed by James Faraci” as the 0:21-0:26 mark of the theme song plays. We then see an outlined image of James as he morphs into “The Last Of The Americans” and lands with half of his team on his right. The other half on his left is on a white background, and the title “THE LAST OF THE AMERICANS” is shown Lazer etched into Titanium as the last six seconds of the American Gladiators 1994 theme song plays. Cut to James sitting in his office)
TLOTA:
I’m James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans, and the mistakes that I have made have been that of my own and no one else’s. That’s right, I’m about to admit how big a dumbass I’ve been; every single little mistake I’ve made and every stupid little “What The Hell WAS I THINKING moment?” in my reviews and then I will have them shoved right up my ass. Then I’m getting tossed into an oven with a built-in rotisserie and just left to cook in my own juices at 375 Degrees Fahrenheit. In Short…(James taps the screen on his smartwatch, morphing him back to James Faraci)
James Faraci:
These are “The Ten Biggest G-D DAMN M—-RF—ING Mistakes I’ve made in the ten years of The Last Of The Americans” (Cut to James Faraci The Last Of The Americans as he’s working and the first chorus of “Everything You Know Is Wrong By Weird Al Yankovic as dust and small amounts of debris are dropping down on James’ head. Halfway through the Chorus, James looks up and sees a ton of papers with all the mistakes he’s made looks up and waves Bye Bye as the weight crushes James, and the blood spatter writes out”The Ten Biggest G-D DAMN M—-RF—ING Mistakes I’ve made in the ten years of The Last Of The Americans”Get ready to see the biggest ten mistakes I’ve made as The Last Of The Americans.
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