The Splendid Seven vs Ulrich’s Bodybuilder Brigade

This Death Battle meme originally belongs to JasonPictures.

If I did not aspire to be an actor, a voice actor, a singer, a writer, a journalist, an artist, and a reviewer when I was a child, I would have gladly obtained the opportunity to be a combat sports commentator/ring announcer for mixed martial arts, boxing, kickboxing, and other martial art/combat sport I could name off the top of my head. I would also be happy to be a radio, television, and podcast announcer because I would always be grateful to use my voice for projects regardless of the theme be it anime, music, film, television, and martial arts. This is one particular death battle I would be more than happy, grateful, and enthusiastic to announce with all my heart.

Imagine entering Ulrich Wernerstein’s mansion where his laboratory for producing his Bulky Bars is used as an arena for his brigade of brute bodybuilders to smash seven Yokai warriors. Where Ulrich has himself and his bodybuilder brigade full of muscle upon muscle as well as loads of power, The Splendid Seven consisting of Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha, Shuran, Hakkaku, Ginta, Ayame, and Shunran have their martial arts skills to give these muscle-heads a good beating. Trust me when I say that blood is going to be spewed, joints are going to be cracked, bones are going to break, collateral damage is going to occur within the body in the forms of internal bleeding, and every fighter is going to accrue bruises and gashes beyond belief. This is the type of event that could give Bloodsport, Tekken, King of Fighters, Mortal Kombat, Fatal Fury, and Street Fighter II: The Animated Movie a run for their money. Furthermore, this is bloody great entertainment for any martial arts aficionado, cage match fan, and/or combat sport junkie to sink their teeth in. Even better is Sam, Clover, and especially Alex and her darling beau Raymond seated at the front to see the action and maybe make some comments on the fight itself. At least Alex does not have to resort to eating up those Bulky Bars, thus having Raymond to herself as her boyfriend for life, and The Splendid Seven do not need those glorified steroids of bars anyway, for they have their martial arts skills to take these brutish behemoths down, and they have faced bigger enemies too.

This death battle is a competition of muscle, strength, combat prowess, power, speed, lethalness, and fierceness. As this is a free-for-all tournament, the only rule is that nobody holds back until the last team stands tall and strong. Therefore, this is wonderful for anybody who wants a fix of high-octane adrenaline.

All the fighters are in the following attire. Ulrich is in his dark green singlet and his muscle-head goons are in the same colour of shorts they have worn in the episode “The Incredible Bulk”. Sesshoumaru is topless, barefoot, armed with red MMA gloves, and wears black MMA shorts with a silver flame on his right short leg. Inuyasha is also topless, barefoot, armed with red MMA gloves, and wears black MMA shorts with a red, orange, and yellow flame on his right short leg. Shuran is wearing a green shoulder-length zodog while baring his torso, green gauntlets, a green shudag, and green foot guards. Hakkaku is topless, in brown Muay Thai shorts, white hand wraps, forest green Muay Thai gloves, and forest green ankle guards. Ginta is topless, in mahogany Lethwei shorts, white hand wraps, and white ankle wraps. Ayame is wearing a red headband, a red tank top, red gauntlets, red boxing gloves, red pants, and is barefoot. Shunran is wearing a light green tank top and matching Capoeira pants with a pink floral design, pink gloves, and pink foot guards. Where Ulrich and his goons are not going to wear mouth guards, Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha, Shuran, Hakkaku, Ginta, Ayame, and Shunran are going to do so, and how they put them on, especially when they growl then grin once on their mouths, is already intimidating, thus giving their opponents and idea of who they have to contend with.

Sure, the battle would start with Ulrich and his goons totally whaling on Sesshoumaru, Shuran, Inuyasha, Hakkaku, Ginta, Ayame, and Shunran thanks to their immensely physical and musclebound strength. All seven of them would end up smashing on walls with painful thuds and crashes, which would make Ulrich and his goons believe that they have won. However, it is not over yet, for The Splendid Seven recover quickly from their crashes with scary smiles on their faces, spit their bloodied mouth guards, and reveal their teeth, as they wipe the blood off their mouths. This is where Ulrich and his goons realise that they have messed up and should not have let a premature “victory” get over their heads because each member of The Splendid Seven specialise in their respective martial arts.

Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha have a strong, well-established, and firm foundation on Tae Kwon Do, Shotokan Karate, Kyokushin Karate, Nippon Kenpo, Shorinji Kenpo, Judo, Hwa Rang Do, Hapkido, Japanese Jujitsu, Brazilian Jujitsu, Mixed Martial Arts, Pankration, Ancient Greek Wrestling, and Ancient Greek Boxing. Their mastery of grappling groundwork and striking standing martial arts makes the two Inu brothers the complete fighters that they are as well as the strongest in mass, skill, speed, and overall collateral damage. Both of them have even mixed these various martial arts styles to formulate their own attacks. Sesshoumaru’s attacks combine Brazilian Jujitsu’s and Japanese Jujitsu’s grappling, Shotokan Karate’s and Hapkido’s precise striking in the kicks; and Shorinji Kenpo’s, Kyokushin Karate’s and Mixed Martial Arts’ close contact when he lands punches on opponents. Inuyasha’s attacks combine Judo’s, Kapu Kuialua’s, Ancient Greek Wrestling’s, and Pankration’s grappling; Tae Kwon Do’s powerful kicks, elbow strikes, knee strikes, and punches; and Ancient Greek Boxing’s and Bokator’s close contact through his devastatingly hard-hitting punches. Besides, Sesshoumaru has been practicing Kata and working on his punches and kicks on the Makiwara as well as on the punching bag ever since he was 6, while Inuyasha has been shadowboxing, punching and kicking really huge rocks, and practicing his submission holds on a stuffed deerskin dummy ever since he was 5, and both of them have been well trained and victorious in their respective martial arts growing up. It only goes to show that the Inu Brothers combining Tae Kwon Do’s speed and stealth, Jujitsu’s and Wrestling’s grappling groundwork, and Pankration’s complete power and strength makes them truly formidable weapons on and off the battlefield, the ring, and/or the arena.

Despite Shuran being mostly a grappler and both Hakkaku and Ginta being predominantly strikers and clinchers, these three bros have a firm foundation on Muay Thai, Lethwei, Judo, Japanese Jujitsu, Brazilian Jujitsu, Turkish Oil Wrestling, Tegumi, Kurash, and Shuai Jiao. Shuran’s massive size and insurmountable mass, Hakkaku’s formidable stealth and rock-hard strength, and Ginta’s rapid speed and quick timing make them akin to a well-oiled and perfectly functioning army tank. Shuran has the strength of an elephant when it comes to his abilities in Mongolian Wrestling, Sumo Wrestling, and Ssireum because his submission holds, chokeholds, bearhugs, back-breakers, and neck-breakers are powerful, and he takes advantage of bringing his enemies down to the ground to show that this is his territory and he will squeeze and throttle the living life out of them. Hakkaku combines speed, power, and timing when it comes to his skills in Muay Thai, Pradal Serey, and Kajukenbo, for his clinches, elbow strikes, knee strikes, and shin strikes can see his enemies suffer like the worms they are. Ginta possesses speed, quick reflexes, and strength to make his capabilities in Lethwei, Pencak Silat, and Sanda all the more wonderful to witness by virtue of his clinches, knee strikes, elbow strikes, shin strikes, head-butts, axe kicks, and reverse punches. Given that Shuran practices various submission holds on different dummies, Hakkaku kicks huge oak trees using his shins, and Ginta punches and kicks wooden boards made of oak, they are more than well conditioned to take down all of their opponents as well as unite their physical skills to do them in. Therefore, combining Shuran’s grappling skills in Mongolian Wrestling, Hakkaku’s clinching in Muay Thai, and Ginta’s lethal strikes in Lethwei means a sudden death for any perpetrator who dares mess with them.

The ladies are in full swing when Ayame and Shunran enter the arena, for these striker sisters have a sturdy foundation on Nippon Kenpo, Kickboxing, Shaolin Kung Fu, Wing Chun, Wushu, Shorinji Kenpo, Boxing, Krav Maga, Taekkyeon, Subak, and Wado-Ryu Karate. Although Ayame’s main martial arts are Kickboxing, Judo, and Nippon Kenpo and Shunran’s are Capoeira, Shaolin Kung Fu, and Wing Chun, both of them have extremely powerful punches and kicks that could cause concussions to their enemies and effectively incapacitate them. Ayame combines kickboxing’s speed and power as well as Nippon Kenpo’s formidability with judo’s close-contact physical strength as a means to demonstrate that her punches and kicks may be attributes that propel her power, but her takedowns are just as effective as they are bone-shattering. Shunran combines Capoeira’s dance-like agility and grace with Shaolin Kung Fu’s plus Wing Chun’s precision and accuracy to the point where she can leave her enemies’ heads spinning one moment and have them fall to the ground the next. Therefore, these striker sisters have created an East meets West approach to their martial arts styles. The Western approaches of Boxing, let alone Kickboxing, and Capoeira and the Eastern methods found in Judo, Nippon Kenpo, Shaolin Kung Fu, and Wing Chun have united in Ayame and Shunran respectively to mould them into effective ways to take opponents down and propel their skills as thorough strikers.

I may not be certain that you might agree with me, dear readers and animation fans, but the chances of Ulrich Wernerstein and his bodybuilder brigade winning against The Splendid Seven are slim to none. It looks like these giant muscle lummoxes are going to suffer major concussions, lethally broken bones, a whole lot of bleeding and bruises, and copious amounts of torn ligaments, internal bleeding, and damaged nerves all in one go and in the whole nine yards. Every time these muscle meatheads knock the seven Yokai warriors hard, they come back with a relentless vengeance to whale on them even harder.

Now, I would love to hear from you wonderful people. Who do you think would win this death battle? The Splendid Seven and their incredibly diverse and formidably powerful martial arts skills? Or Ulrich’s and his goons’ sheer muscle mass and power? Comment below and let me know.

I hope you enjoyed this death battle idea, and I will see you in the next submission. Take care, stay safe, and stay formidable, everybody.

Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha, Shuran, Hakkaku, Ginta, Ayame, and Shunran from Inuyasha belong to Rumiko Takahashi and Sunrise.

Ulrich Wernerstein and his bodybuilder brigade from Totally Spies belong to Vincent Chalvon-Demersay, David Michel, and Marathon Media.