This “What if This Character Fights This Character” meme originally belongs to MagicalKeyPizzaDan and is dedicated to all of my friends, fellow artists, fans, and brethren who might enjoy an intense tournament match between Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha, Shuran, Hakkaku, Ginta, Ayame, and Shunran from my Splendid Seven Inuyasha AU headcanon and Ulrich Wernerstein and his bodybuilder brigade from Totally Spies’ “The Incredible Bulk”. Sit back, relax, and revel in how seven mighty Yokai warriors can possibly overpower a brigade of muscle meatheads headed by a narcissistic muscle meathead.

Take my seven most favourite characters from an anime I have a serious love-hate relationship with and one über musclebound villain heading a quartet of über musclebound underlings from an anime-inspired series I am proud to call one of my greatest guilty pleasures of all time and you have a smackdown that can attract millions and billions, regardless if you are an underground fighting tournament fan, a wrestling fan or a martial arts tournament fan. My inspiration for this idea derived from my tenure being a huge fan of Street Fighter, Tekken, King of Fighters, and Mortal Kombat. Where the Street Fighter franchise is concerned, I am mainly inspired by the anime Street Fighter II V, the animated series Street Fighter: The Animated Series, and the anime movie Street Fighter II: The Animated Movie. Something tells me that Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha, Shuran, Hakkaku, Ginta, Ayame, and Shunran are going to use their martial arts skills to cream, mash, and mince Ulrich Wernerstein and his brigade of muscle meatheads, and I am going to enjoy every single moment of it. I am not going to be alone in this, as Sam, Clover, and Alex would revel in this smackdown between seven mighty Yokai warriors specialising in various martial arts and a vain muscle meathead commanding a quartet of muscle meatheads. This would be a smackdown suitable for an arena, a colosseum, and/or a huge ring ideal for martial arts tournaments a la YuYu Hakusho, Dragonball Z, Bloodsport, and The Quest but even bloodier, as you will discover why.

While Ulrich and his goons are dressed the way they are for the fight, I can imagine Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha, Shuran, Hakkaku, Ginta, Ayame, and Shunran in the following attires. As Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha are the Ryu and Ken of The Splendid Seven, they will both be topless, be armed with red MMA gloves, black MMA shorts with Sesshoumaru’s having a silver flame on his right short leg and Inuyasha’s having red, orange, and yellow flame on his right short leg akin to Jin Kazama’s Player 1 and Player 2 design, thus symbolising ice and fire, and be barefoot. Shuran will be in a green shoulder-length zodog, green gauntlets, a green shudag, and green foot guards. Hakkaku will be in brown Muay Thai shorts, white hand wraps, forest green Muay Thai gloves, and forest green ankle guards. Ginta will be in mahogany Lethwei shorts, white hand wraps, and white ankle wraps. Ayame will be in a red headband, a red tank top, red gauntlets, red boxing gloves, red pants, and be barefoot, with all that red enough to put even Anna Williams to shame. Shunran will be dressed in a light green tank top and matching Capoeira pants with a pink floral design, pink gloves, and pink foot guards.

Ulrich and his goons may be all muscled up through his Bulky Bars and even all that weightlifting and muscle-building they have done. However, The Splendid Seven not only rely on muscular strength to hopefully defeat their opponents but also using martial arts as a way of life, especially highlighted with their warmups. Sesshoumaru is a practitioner in Mixed Martial Arts, Tae Kwon Do, and Brazilian Jujitsu who does kata usually done in Karate and works on his strikes on a Makiwara as well as a punching bag, thus illustrating that he is a man of tradition. Inuyasha is a practitioner in Pankration, Ancient Greek Wrestling, and Ancient Greek Boxing who works on his throws and submission holds using a deerskin dummy, punches and kicks really huge boulders to strengthen his fists and feet, thus making them be hard as rocks, and does a lot of shadowboxing. Shuran is a practitioner in Mongolian Wrestling, Sumo Wrestling, and Ssireum who works on his throws, submission holds, and palm strikes on a dummy stuffed with rocks and stones. Hakkaku is a practitioner in Muay Thai, Kajukenbo, and Pradal Serey who conditions his shins and fists by kicking and punching oak trees. Ginta is a practitioner in Lethwei, Silat, and Sanda who conditions his shins, knees, fists, and head by knocking oak trees with those aforementioned body parts. Ayame is a practitioner in Kickboxing, Judo, and Nippon Kempo who works on her strikes using a punching bag. Shunran is a practitioner in Capoeira, Shaolin Kung Fu, and Wing Chun who also works on her strikes using a punching bag.

With everybody well-conditioned for their epic fight of the season, there is something that Ulrich and his musclebound goons should be aware if they think they are foolhardy enough to conquer The Splendid Seven. The seven Yokai warriors are not to be underestimated because their attacks can actually do a lot of collateral damage to Ulrich and his goons. This is not just the fact that they are supernatural warriors with a lot of super strength, endless supplies of endurance, and a whole lot of physical, mental, and psychological might, but they also have brutally physical attacks that can easily incapacitate their enemies.

Sesshoumaru may be mainly a Mixed Martial Arts, Brazilian Jujitsu, Tae Kwon Do, and Japanese Jujitsu man, and Inuyasha may be mainly a Pankration, Ancient Greek Wrestling, Ancient Greek Boxing, Bokator, and Kapu Kuialua man, but both Inu brothers’ fighting styles are firmly based in Shotokan Karate, Kyokushin Karate, Judo, Nippon Kempo, Shorinji Kempo, Tae Kwon Do, Japanese Jujitsu, Brazilian Jujitsu, Mixed Martial Arts, Pankration, Ancient Greek Wrestling, and Ancient Greek Boxing. Both brothers are strikers and grapplers who are equally adept in standing martial arts and ground martial arts, with them beating a huge number of their enemies to submission on the ground. Sesshoumaru’s mixture of Tae Kwon Do kicks, Brazilian Jujitsu grapples and tackles, and Mixed Martial Arts punches, elbow strikes, and knee strikes are an exceptional compliment to Inuyasha’s mixture of Kapu Kuialua and Ancient Greek Boxing tackles, Pankration grapples, Ancient Greek Boxing punches, and Bokator kicks. Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha are both aggressive fighters whose uppercuts, hooks, jabs, haymakers, face punches, gut punches, and cheek punches can leave Ulrich and his goons with bleeding and broken noses, bruises, and black eyes. Even more frightening for Ulrich and his goons is when Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha shout a really powerful Kiai, shower them in a barrage of various punches and kicks, and use a combo tornado kick and uppercut akin to Street Fighter’s Shoryuken that would see them fly up and land down with an ugly thud as well as land a huge side kick that would knock them cold and a judo flip that would break their backs. As The Splendid Seven strongest overall fighters, Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha aka The Inu Brothers are not one to hold back by any stretch of the imagination and would intimidate Ulrich and his goons until they are reduced to a gaggle of scared little cowards.

Shuran may be mainly a grappler in Mongolian Wrestling, Sumo Wrestling, and Ssireum, while Hakkaku and Ginta may be strikers and clinchers chiefly in Muay Thai and Lethwei respectively, but these three’s fighting styles are firmly based in Muay Thai, Lethwei, Judo, Japanese Jujitsu, Brazilian Jujitsu, Turkish Oil Wrestling, Tegumi, Kurash, and Shuai Jiao. Despite their different fighting styles, the three brothers’ palm strikes, double slaps, headlocks, bearhugs, judo flips, and clinches are truly formidable to the point where their enemies submit. Shuran’s suplexes can easily break Ulrich’s and his goons’ bones, thus incapacitating them. Hakkaku’s clinches, punches, knee strikes, and elbow strikes can leave Ulrich and his goons all bloodied and bruised. Ginta’s clinches, punches, knee strikes, elbow strikes, and head-butts can also leave them just as bloodied and bruised. Shuran’s, Hakkaku’s, and Ginta’s favourite move on Ulrich and his goons is having Shuran give a Full Nelson on each of them, while Hakkaku and Ginta shin kick each of them on the legs until they submit. Once done, Shuran would release them, palm strike each of them, and have Hakkaku and Ginta shower them with jabs and hooks. Clinches and palm strikes aside, Shuran, Hakkaku, and Ginta would demonstrate to Ulrich and his goons that wrestling’s massive size can work wonders with striking’s and clinching’s flexibility really well, especially when these three brothers/best friends for life take them down.

Ayame and Shunran are predominantly strikers through and through. Ayame may mainly be a puncher and grappler in Kickboxing, Judo, and Nippon Kempo, while Shunran may mainly be a kicker and flipper in Capoeira, Shaolin Kung Fu, and Wing Chun. Nevertheless, both sisters’ fighting styles are firmly based in Nippon Kempo, Kickboxing, Shaolin Kung Fu, Wing Chun, Wushu, Shorinji Kempo, Boxing, Krav Maga, and Wado-Ryu Karate. As a dominant puncher and kicker, Ayame is always willing to dish out her signature uppercuts, hooks, jabs, haymakers, face punches, gut punches, axe kicks, shin kicks, head scissors, headlocks, and roundhouse kicks that can cause serious black eyes and broken bones. As a dominant kicker and flipper as well as the occasional puncher, Shunran always has her backfists, reverse punches, roundhouse kicks, axe kicks, shin kicks, foot sweeps, spinning back kicks, spinning roundhouse kicks, and a bevy of flying kicks and flip kicks that can cause her enemies to go into a vertigo and make them feel extremely disoriented. Where Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha have their punches on board and Shuran, Hakkaku, and Ginta have their clinches at the ready, Ayame and Shunran are always prepared to give Ulrich and his goons all the fast and powerful kicks they have in their repertoire, thus leaving them utterly fazed. Ayame’s and Shunran’s striking abilities would show Ulrich and his goons that these sisters always mean business.

Making The Splendid Seven’s attacks more devastating is the fatality blows each of them have for Ulrich and his goons. Sesshoumaru would throw one massive hook and one equally massive jab at the blonde muscle thug on the left cheek and mouth respectively causing him to lose some teeth and leave him bruised and bleeding. Inuyasha would pivot his weight to jump up and throw the muscle thug with the green mohawk one devastating uppercut to the chin and one equally devastating cross to the nose. Shuran would throw the bald, brown-skinned muscle thug one huge double slap to the head and suplex him headfirst to the ground. Hakkaku would throw the red-haired, tan-skinned muscle thug one painful knee strike to the groin and an equally painful flying shin kick to the head. Ginta would also throw the red-haired, tan-skinned muscle thug one ruthless head-butt and one equally ruthless elbow strike to the chest. Ayame would throw one lethal reverse punch to the blonde muscle thug’s head and an equally lethal roundhouse kick to the muscle thug with the green mohawk’s side. Shunran would throw one mean spinning back kick to the the bald, brown-skinned muscle thug’s gut and one equally mean backfist to the red-haired, tan-skinned muscle thug’s nose. With all four muscle thugs suffering in an overwhelmed manner by their attacks, this leaves Ulrich Wernerstein as the final victim. Sesshoumaru throws Ulrich two cross punches to his eyes, thus leaving him with two black eyes. Inuyasha throws Ulrich an uppercut to his chin, thus leading him to lose some teeth. Shuran delivers a palm strike to Ulrich’s chest. Hakkaku clinches at Ulrich to deliver him some serious knee strikes to the gut. Ginta also clinches at Ulrich to deliver him an elbow strike to the back. Ayame gives Ulrich a flying spinning back kick to Ulrich’s head. Shunran gives Ulrich a flying side kick to his chest. Finally, Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha, Ayame, Shuran, Hakkaku, Ginta, and Shunran get into their respective MMA, Pankration, kickboxing, Mongolian wrestling, Muay Thai, Lethwei, and Capoeira stances, run to Ulrich with powerful Kiais, land a flying side kick to his head, throw an uppercut to his chin, and make him as well as his goons fall down like bowling pins. All of their fatality blows would leave a lot of blood spilt on the ground as well as ballistic head traumas, internal bleeding, heavy bruises, and broken bones. This would additionally culminate in a series of trash-talking by courtesy of Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha, Shuran, Hakkaku, Ginta, Ayame, and Shunran at Ulrich’s and his goons’ expense, stating that there was too much muscle between their ears, but at least they thoroughly enjoyed kicking their butts because it makes them feel really good.

Sam, Clover, and Alex may be initially frightened yet fascinated with Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha, Shuran, Hakkaku, Ginta, Ayame, and Shunran who are also spritzed with Ulrich’s and his goons’ blood. However, the seven Yokai warriors would give a smile and wink at the three female teen spies. Even a recovered Raymond and an equally recovered Robert would be shocked at the commotion seeing Ulrich’s and his goons’ severely unconscious and the seven blood-spritzed Yokai warriors. They assure Raymond and Alex that they can enjoy their “honeymoon” because they deserve to be happy together, with Robert saying to himself that he has to lay off those bars. At least with Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha, Ayame, Shuran, Hakkaku, Ginta, and Shunran kicking Ulrich’s and his goons’ butts to smithereens, Alex did not need to rely on those Bulky Bars to beat them to submission and can enjoy her wonderfully loving relationship with Raymond. As Raymond, Alex, Clover, and Sam depart, Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha, Ayame, Shuran, Hakkaku, Ginta, and Shunran put their hands on top of each others’, throw them up in the air, give each other a high-five for a job excellently done, and a huge group hug full of smiles and laughter just like the close-knit Yokai warrior family that they are.

This epic tournament between The Splendid Seven and Ulrich and his bodybuilder goons just goes to show that supernatural and superhuman hand-to-hand martial arts skills beat über bulky muscles any day. Furthermore, this is what happens when Ulrich and his goons dare underestimate Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha, Shuran, Hakkaku, Ginta, Ayame, and Shunran. If you did not already guess, the muscle meatheads got their butts handed to them by the seven powerful Yokai warriors with attitude, fierceness, and familial closeness. At least there was a lot of enjoyment in this epic martial arts tournament worthy of all viewing.

I hope you all enjoyed this, and I will see you in the next submission. Take care, stay safe, and always remember to kick butt in whatever martial arts you do, everybody.

Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha, Shuran, Hakkaku, Ginta, Ayame, and Shunran from Inuyasha belong to Rumiko Takahashi and Sunrise.

Ulrich Wernerstein and his bodybuilder brigade from Totally Spies belong to Vincent Chalvon-Demersay, David Michel, and Marathon Media.

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