TLOTA:
I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and the views that I’m about to express are that of my own and some of yours and welcome to another edition of”Connect The Plots” (Cut to a scene of James trying to connect certain things together like the theatrical version of “Halloween: The Curse Of Michael Myers” & “Halloween: H20”, All the movie adaptations of Stephen King, Superman Returns to the original Salkind Superman movies, the first three X-Men movies to the newer ones and the “Wolverine” & “Deadpool” movies before cutting to James strapped down in a straight jacket all the while a kid sings “Connect The Plots La-La-La!” before panning down to see anything that might have a minor connection spell the words “Connect The Plots” before cutting to the title card of “Armageddon” as an instrumental of “I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing” play in the foreground and James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
As it has been stated repeatedly here “Armageddon” directed by Michael Bay has become a cult classic, a guilty pleasure of mine, and has probably the biggest honor the movie could get a place in the Criterion Collection! That is insane. While a lot of the science behind it doesn’t compute, nor does the whole drilling a nuke to blow an asteroid sky-high make a lick of sense. To me, this is the definition of popcorn entertainment that somehow has stood the test of time, which is far more than a franchise he drove into the ground. (Cut to clips of the Michael Bay “Transformers” movies as “Transformers” by the band Lion play in the foreground and James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Michael Bay’s first”Transformers” was such a hit that Bay hit the Lather, Rinse, Repeat on the plot five times until finally Paramount had enough and has decided to give Bay the boot, hit the reboot button with two movies, One I have seen in snippets and a new one coming soon. But believe it or not, as insane as being able to connect the “Halloween” “Thorn Trilogy” to “H20” & “Resurrection”, I think I have found something that connects Michael Bay’s five clunkers “Transformers” movies to “Armageddon” and it ain’t Michael Bay. (Cut to James physically)
Could Bruce Willis be the reason Optimus Prime came to Earth? Find out here
