Op! No time to stay this angry because… (The background changes to outer space as James begins to Sing): You look at the Stars! And you see him, With his bright eyes of marble, he’ll make you believe, he cuts through deceit! He has some awards, No Oscars! He’s been here for so long, since the eighties, and with one “Whoa” I’m sure that you know, that he goes a little something like this! Watch him and he’ll show ya, Look him take control, yeah, you know because he’s cool like Keanu, Yeah! Yeah! He’s cool like Keanu! You know he’s Coo-ooo-ool like Keanu! I don’t even have to tell ya! Just watch him and You’ll know how to be Cool Like Keanu, know how to be Cool Like Keanu! Know how to be Coo-ooo-ool Like Keanu! (The ending five seconds of the “Moves Like Jagger” sound-alike play as James disintegrates into stars and reforms into a constellation that looks like Keanu Reeves’ face which becomes a still photo that zooms as it cuts to James cleaning the dust out of his office.)

You’ll have to forgive me, I have to clean an entire studio, months of dust and well… enough complaining, I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and the views that I’m about to express are that of my own and (Sneezes) Some of yours. Let’s talk about Keanu Reeves! (Cut to clips of different Keanu Reeves as James does a voiceover)

And to be fair, he’s had a run of critical and commercial highs and lows whether he’s had indie successes that brought audiences in or critically successful movies that couldn’t draw an audience or vice versa, Keanu has had one hell of a career starting in the mid-1980s with tv and smaller roles in movies before gaining success in movies like “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventures” and “My Private Idaho”, he’s gone on to be a dependable character actor and has become an icon in acting naturally no matter what the role is. (Cut to James physically)

Even if the role is that of a Plainclothes Sergeant officer in the debut of the director whose previous works in Cinematography in movies like “Die Hard” “The Hunt For Red October”, “Basic Instinct”, “Lethal Weapon 3”, “Flatliners”, & “Black Rain” and whose later direction works include (Show posters of “Twister”, “Speed 2: Cruise Control”, the 1999 “The Haunting” remake & “Laura Croft: Tomb Raider: The Cradle Of Life. Cut to James physically as he awkwardly smiles.)

Is “Speed” truly Cool like Keanu? Find out here

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