Rowdy: Tell me again why we’re evacuating our bowels and not flushing.
TLOTA: New York has the highest concentration of “Happy Madison” audience in the United States with California being second by getting the largest pile of deuce in one place we can collect the biggest amount of that idiot fringe and we can be rid of them once and for all. Good luck in there. (Rowdy goes in and a muffled scream of “YEOW! THAT IS THE WORST SMELLING CRAP I’VE EVER SMELLED! THIS GUY SHOULDN’T BE CALLING HIMSELF “THE LAST OF THE AMERICANS” HE SHOULD BE CALLING HIMSELF “BIOLOGICAL WARFARE” while diuretic sounds are heard and Rowdy steps out of the bathroom and James waits at the door.)
TLOTA: I overheard what you yelled in there and before I forget, this is my future brother in law (James shows a picture of his future brother in law Adam with a knit frog hat and looking goofy) If he is in there, we’re going to have to go in and save him otherwise my sister will string me up by my man marbles and whack me like a piñata then mount my head on her mantelpiece. So open the door and invite them in. (Rowdy walks to the door and puts a bullhorn into his mouth.)
Rowdy: Attention “Happy Madison” audience there is poop in the toilet at the residence of James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans. (Camera cuts to the POV from the inside view of the front door only showing the cars parked and an empty street before cutting to James and Rowdy looking out the front door.)
TLOTA: Hmm, that’s odd, they should be here like gangbusters.
Rowdy: Wonder what’s keeping them?