If you’re a regular on the Channel Awesome boards, you might have heard of a direct-to-VHS film starring Chuck E. Cheese called Chuck E. Cheese in the Galaxy 5000. It first came to attention in 2009 when someone decided to start a topic about it in the films section. The post proved to be so popular that it inspired people to ask Doug Walker himself to review it. However, Rob and Doug pretty much said they weren’t interested.

But that movie isn’t the only time Chuck E. Cheese tried to make a movie—and it turned out horribly, horribly wrong. In fact, they did the same thing in the 80’s with Chuck E. Cheese in The Christmas That Almost Wasn’t! Like The Galaxy 5000, this movie was a cheap (and by this movie’s standards, I do mean CHEAP) direct-to-video release starring Chuck E. Cheese and the gang. Unlike Galaxy 5000, this actually has a rather interesting history behind it, which you can read about here: http://www.platypuscomix.net/darkvault/misfits/misfit52.html. Hell, this special had such an interesting history behind it that I HAD to watch it!

So, what’s my final verdict? Thanks to the animation, this special went from “meh” to so bad it’s good. Why? Well, the animation is pretty much non-existent! The characters NEVER, and I mean NEVER, move. To indicate that there is such a thing as movement even going on, the movie pretty much cuts to a character in the same place using a, oh, different hand gesture or something! Oh, sure, there are SCENES in this movie but characters never move in the scenes! The movie just cuts from scene to scene to scene without anyone moving a damn muscle! Seriously, this seems like a parody of bad animated movies, like a bad animated movie you’d see on a sitcom episode where the idiotic main character tries to make an animated movie and fails miserably! But, because the animation is so damn incompetent, the movie is hilarious just because the bad animation is so fuckin’ funny! I mean, I’ve seen cheap-looking christmas specials; I’ve seen The Star Wars Holiday Special with it’s bad green screen and chroma key and I’ve seen Grumpy Cat’s Worst Christmas Ever where they don’t bother to make it look like Grumpy Cat is talking, even though she’s supposed to be, but, in comparison to this thing, those specials look like 200+ million blockbusters!

Though there are other bad things about this special-the voice acting is pretty bad on a whole. The guy playing Chuck E. Cheese does a horrible Chuck E. impression and it doesn’t get much better from there. Also, the story is sort of insane-Okay, so there’s this elf scientist guy who decides to help the elves by making robots to help them but the robots take over the factory and start making the toys themselves and this evil cloud guy wants to destroy the factory for some reason (lolz?). Oh, and to top it all off, Chuck E. and this dog guy decide to travel through a sled that is being pulled by two robots to give Santa the dog’s christmas list.

I take back what I said-even if the animation was fluid, this christmas special would still be insane! And I swear, I’m not making this special up! If you don’t believe me that this special exists, here you go! “Enjoy!”:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K38mxyAymZg

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