Hey everyone, Chilton here for my Secret Santa blog. This year, I got mraspiringactor’s name. And since he used to review performances in film, I’m looking at WWE Superstar The Miz in the ABC Family film Christmas Bounty. First, though, a bit of context.
I HATE The Miz. I hate his face, and I especially hate how he got into the wrestling business. For those who don’t know, The Miz used to be on MTV as a reality star. Because no one looks like a total douche on a reality show on MTV. Some time later, he decided to become a professional wrestler and became a contestant on “WWE Tough Enough”, which, need I remind you, was another MTV reality show! And like any aspiring wrestler with little to no training or experience in the ring, he…was the runner-up. And he still got a contract! That bring me to why I can’t stand him…
He’s never earned anything since becoming a wrestler. Not. Once. And let’s consider his accomplishments. Two-time United States Champion. Four-time Intercontinental Champion. One of the Money in the Bank winners in 2011. WWE Champion. Main evented WrestleMania and won…due to interference by The Rock. Four-time and current WWE Tag Team Champion! Oh, and get this–Pro Wrestling Illustrated put him at the top of their list of the top 500 wrestlers in 2011. There are wrestlers like Daniel Bryan, Sami Zayn, Kevin Steen, and CM Punk, but The Miz is better than all of them? Screw you, PWI!
But the BS doesn’t stop there. See, in 2012, WWE decided to make him a good guy. Now consider, this is the company that made Hornswoggle the final Cruiserweight Champion in company history. The company that hires great wrestlers but keeps them in development despite their talent. The company that turned John Cena into a superhero. But in my opinion, The Miz’s face turn was the absolute worst decision they’ve ever made. Why? Because the guy is naturally unlikable! Plus, he did something that’s considered taboo as a face–he rejected someone’s challenge to a match. A challenge made by the company’s top heel at the time. So yeah, not only is he a mediocre wrestler at best, but he’s also–as I said–naturally unlikable. In fact, the only thing he’s “awesome” at is getting on my nerves!
But what about his performance in this film? Well…much of the same. Here, he plays Mikey Muscles. Thank goodness that’s just a nickname because otherwise, I’d make a comparison to the characters in “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer”. He’s the love interest who had a relationship with the main character before she quit her job as a bounty hunter to become a teacher. And just like the majority of ABC Family movie characters, he has the charisma of an unsharpened pencil. In fact, literally anyone could’ve replaced him in this role and nothing would change. Actually, I take that back. He’d at least look like a protagonist.
Also, he does little to nothing in this movie. He’s just there to take part in a love triangle and steal the girl in the end. You know, because he’s a WWE Superstar, and everyone knows that the wrestler–or in this case, “wrestler in name only”–always has to win in the end.
I hate that this became more of a rant on The Miz as a wrestler than his role in this movie, but he didn’t really give me much to work with. Plus, I really needed to get that crap off my chest. Either way, I hope mraspiringactor, as well as the rest of you, enjoyed it. I’ll be back with a few more Christmas-related stuff, but until then, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!
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