Greetings, Manic Fans. Les here to admire the latest American attempt to make a Godzilla film. Yeah, I know this came out a long time ago…sue me…I was on an 8 month contract on a cruise boat and missed it in the theatrical release(DAMN!…I’ll bet it was AWESOME in IMAX, but I digress…).

 

Now, most people I’ve talked to agree that the Rolland Emmerich attempt was an insult to TOHO’s Godzilla, and I completely agree. That nuclear augmented Iguana wasn’t Godzilla. It wasn’t a bad Kaiju, but it wasn’t Godzilla. When one quantifies what makes Godzilla, Godzilla, there are several requirements:

 

1. He has 3 ridges of large back spikeplates.

2. He breathes radioactive breath as a weapon.  And

3. He cannot be killed…hurt, yes….knocked out, yes, but NEVER killed.

 

Rolland’s version barely had 2 ridges of weak back spikeplates. Didn’t breath radioactive breath and was killed by 6 sidewinder missiles…..FAIL! FAIL! FAIL! FAIL!…ahem…where was I? Oh yes.

 

Another thing that makes the great Godzilla films is the element of rival Kaijus for him to fight that makes him a hero defending humanity(while destroying buildings in the process and killing a lot of collateral victims, but, hey! C’MON! He’s over 350 feet tall! GET OUT OF THE WAY YOU IDIOTS!).

 

SPOILERS!:

 

So, in the new film, Mankind, through careless mining and building of nuclear power stations has awakened an ancient kaiju that sets forth a doomsday scenario where this giant will reproduce with another one…but Godzilla comes along to fight them before they carry out their plan to knock us back to the bottom of the food chain again.

 

What this film did right IMHO, was to show us the rival Kaijus, labeled M.U.T.O.s and let their threat build for a large part of the movie before bringing Godzilla into the mix. Design wise, they’re pretty good Godzilla villains. They kind of look like an amalgamation of several Godzilla monsters, the closest one being Mothra. They’re insect-like with great triangular heads and beakish mouths full of teeth and glowing eyes.

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They make clicking rattling roars and clomp around on stilt-like legs that have glowing ends that, apparently create EMP’s to knock out electronics. Great wings allow them to fly. They’re drawn to radioactive sources and eat nuclear warheads for fuel. Human armies do their jobs attempting to fight them, but being clearly not up to the task, accentuate the danger these monsters represent and do a great job building up the suspense.

 

When Godzilla does show up, they don’t show him all right away. We get some shots of his backplates cutting through the water like shark fins. Then a Tsunami from his arrival and then a shot of flares lighting up his chest and arms as he’s walking past. These are cut back and forth to shots of the M.U.T.O., who’s razing an airport on Oahu. In an impressive scene, the camera follows a chain-reaction of jet explosions, and then Godzilla plants his foot down and then BAM! a full shot of him and WOW! DOES HE EVER LOOK GREAT!

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THIS IS GODZILLA, MY FRIENDS! HE’S BIG! HE’S BAD! AND HE LOOKS PISSED! Then he roars

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and the fight starts. Now, my only complaint. THEY DON’T SHOW IT!…WTF?!?!?they show news clips that a kid is watching, so use your imagination during this part. However, once Godzilla comes back into the fight, later in the film, the filmmakers show a respect for the TOHO Godzilla films and the fights he’s been in before. I’ll also comment on the fact that while this Godzilla is completely CGI, it moves like a man in a Kaiju suit. That’s a nice touch and lends itself to the physical weight and bulk of Godzilla. When he throws the M.U.T.O. down and stomps on it, it feels like power incarnate. They also incorporated 2 great signature Godzilla fight moves.

 

1. After fighting for a bit, his tail spike plates start glowing blue and making a sparking sound like an electrical build up. It travels up his back with more intensity and then he shoots radioactive breath against his enemy.

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Definitely a “YEAH!!!!!” moment. And

 

2. Godzilla lines up as the M.U.T.O. is gliding in for a kill and whips around and tail-smashes his foe into a building killing him.

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YES!…take THAT! Emmerich! That’s how to make a Godzilla film! And then, just to up the ante, they create a brand new move for him where he grabs the M.U.T.O. and pries his mouth open and shoots his radioactive breath down the M.U.T.O.s gullet and beheads him from inside out

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(OK…technically he sort of did this in Godzilla 2000…but in that one, ORGA was attempting to eat him at the time, and he exploded ORGA from inside of him, so it’s a little different LOL!).

 

I’m excited, my friends. This was a great Godzilla film. I look forward to any sequels it spawns. Did you see this film, my friends? I’d love to hear your opinions on it. Did they deliver the Godzilla you were hoping to see? Peace.

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