Hello and welcome to In Too Deep, where I over-analyse a certain section of pop culture.
The Internet: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Expression. Its ongoing mission: to explore strange new websites, to seek out new bloggers and new mega sensations, to boldly go where no man, woman or LOLcat has gone before.
Cue epic theme music and opening titles. Yes, the internet. It really has become a strange new place, hasn’t it. The only prediction of it I ever saw was from Isaac Asimov in the 80s, who imagined it as a giant library (and how kids would be enthused to learn). Imagining showing that poor guy a LOLcat or ‘Charlie bit my finger’. But anyway, is the internet the final frontier? Or, rather, can it be compared to space travel a la Star Trek? Well join me as I over-analyse the internet.
So since we’ve got a Star Trek metaphor, what shall be our federation? Well I think that’s blindingly obvious. Like it or not, Facebook is our United Federation of Planets. It’s what connects all of us together. In fact I wouldn’t be surprised if Kirk had a Facebook page in the 23rd Century so not to appear out of place. But regardless, if the Internet is space, then the Federation is Facebook.
Okay then, what else do we find in the Star Trek universe? What about the transporters? Well that’s just email? What about those strange planets that seem to only have one type of culture. Like a planet dedicated to just being gangsters or Nazis. Well you’d find the parallel to that in the various websites littered around the place that are aimed at specific things. Or how about the database aboard the Enterprise? It’s nothing more then a well-managed Wikipedia. Even the Borg can be seen as nothing more then viruses downloaded off the internet (since they corrupt computers to do what they want, making them all become one for a single purpose). Either that or spam emails.
But that’s not why I wrote this blog. No the reason I wrote this blog was one particular quote:
“If you can’t take a little bloody nose, maybe you ought to go back home and crawl under your bed. It’s not safe out here. It’s wondrous, with treasures to satiate desires, both subtle and gross. But it’s not for the timid.”
That, ladies and gentlemen, is the internet in a nutshell. Because the Trolls out there can be categorised as the various bad guys the Enterprise has had to face.
You have the Klingons, the loud brutish sort that prefer to fight for the most illogical reasons. Hence you get trolls that seem to enjoy writing stupid and retarded comments just so they can get into a fight.
You have the Romulans, the so called ‘smart ones’ that succumb to their emotions. Again, these are the Trolls that seem like they have logical arguments, but they’re just looking at a way of trapping you and trolling you.
The Borg (whilst also being viruses) are the rabid fanboy who refuse to admit that their favourite product may have any flaws; and force you to either enjoy their work or GTFO (since you will be like them).
The various aliens posing as Gods (and that happens more often then you’d think) are those Trolls that pose as someone with authority, when instead they’re just abusing their so-called power. They don’t actually have any power, but they like to make people think they do.
The Dominion (yes, I know they’re not an alien, but the idea works) are those that Troll for political reasons, with the Changelings are those Trolls that just like to start flame wars by swapping sides (aka morphing their arguments to counter people).
(Just on the side, people should watch Deep Space 9. It’s the best of the Star Trek TV shows).
And lastly we have the Q continuum, the people in charge that abuse their power and don’t care for those below them. The manipulative ones that like to toy with those beneath them. They’re probably worst of all.
But why write all of this? Because Q still has a valid point. Every time you put your work out their creatively, you run the risk of being trolled. But if you can’t stand the idea of someone trolling you, don’t post your work. Because while loads of people may love it, there’ll be those that hate it for the most stupid of reasons. And you just have accept that. As Q said: “It’s wondrous, with treasures to satiate desires, both subtle and gross. But it’s not for the timid.”
So there you have it. My views on whether we could call the Internet the Final Frontier. If you disagree with anything, or have anything to add, feel free to leave a message. Till next time.
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