Hello and welcome back to The Hitlist, where I take on the songs I love to hate. Hey, did you know that Lil Wayne was a rock star once? No? Well, that’s really no surprise considering he only had one rock hit worth mentioning, which we’ll get to later. But how exactly did this come about? It started when he collaborated with Kevin Rudolf for the song “Let it Rock” (which I haven’t decided whether or not to review)…and that’s it. After that, Wayne picked up a guitar and made “Prom Queen” one of his hits. Let’s dive in and see how it fails.

So unlike “Girl on Fire”, I actually know what’s going on in the song. It’s actually pretty simple. Wayne tries to hit on a popular girl but gets shot down. He vows that things will be different, and a few years later, he’s a famous rapper while she’s–

Y’know what? I’m just gonna go ahead and say it. It’s “Sk8r Boi” by Avril Lavigne. It’s the exact same song, but with the genders reversed. Ok, there are some differences. For example, Wayne doesn’t truly love this girl. Or at least, it never really says he does. In fact, the first line is literally…

I loved her fancy underwear

That’s literally the only reason he gives for wanting her. He just wants to get in her pants. Now, normally in this situation, we need a reason to sympathize with the narrator, but nope, she has nice panties, and that’s a good enough excuse to screw her apparently. Not like the jocks are any different. Not when the first line of the second verse is:

They loved her fancy underwear

Does she not have any other personality other than being popular and hot? I’m seriously expecting Jason DeRulo to write a song about her butt. He’ll probably call it something stupid like “Wiggle”. …Nah, that would be stupid. And Wayne, I have a secret for you…

YOU ARE A TERRIBLE SINGER!!!

Even with autotune, he sounds awful. He can’t hold a note or stay on beat. It’s a miracle he can even rap, and even that’s pushing it! The intrumentals are even worse. It’s a bare-bones rock beat with what sounds like a toddler trying to be Travis Barker. It’s like no one had any rhythm going into the song and somehow ended up with less.

I know this review is relatively shorter compared to the other two reviews, but what else can I say? This song is abysmal! It’s not a bad thing for artists to experiment, but just because you were on one “rock” song doesn’t mean you’re capable of mastering the entire genre in less than a year. Despite what I said earlier, he’s doing slightly better as a rapper than a rocker. Of course, with a song like this, it can’t be that hard. He’s like the man with wax wings–He thought he could touch the sun but ended up crashing back down to earth. And just like in Carrie, we’re all laughing at him.

Artwork by Kane Fletcher. Link to his deviantart page is in the comment section.

By Chilton

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