Hello and welcome to In Too Deep, where I over-analyse a certain section of pop culture.

Upon talking to my friend about slasher films, it occurred to me that Doctor Who has made far scarier monsters then the likes of Jason Voorhees and Freddy Krueger. I’d rather take them on in a fight then some of the monsters of Doctor Who. But which ones? Well if you haven’t guessed, lets come up with five more to fill up the time.

6)Krynoid/Vervoids: Now this seems like an odd choice, having an alien vegetable monster. So why would they be good slasher movie monster? Well bringing all the plants to life is a good start if you’re setting the thing in a woods somewhere. I mean how are you meant to fight something that is literally the surrounding area. Oh sure they’ve been a few misfires in terms of the creatures themselves (best not Google image Vervoids when your mother is in the room unless you want to avoid a lot of awkward questions), but the idea works with just one brilliant scene: In Terror of the Vervoids the Doctor and his companion come across a pile of dead bodies and, as the Doctor points out, you’d do no different to a bunch of weeds. So the fight against vegetation and animal would begin. Also do check out The Seeds of Doom, it’s one of Tom Baker’s finest.

5)Axos: Back in the 70s, in order to cut costs, the production team decided to ground the Doctor on Earth and have him fighting off alien invasions. There were two incredibly scary aliens to come from it. The first I shall mention momentarily, but the second was the dreaded Axos. Once again it goes back to that brilliant concept that nothing more than a single touch could kill you. But their main goal was to come to Earth and drain away all of its life-force, leaving it a barren husk of a planet. As such they’d be brilliant monsters for a 1950s B-movie horror flick. They arrive on Earth and start to glow, multiply, zapping the Earth and slowly killing it. What’s more they originally start of being benevolent by appearing to be nothing more then ordinary golden humans. And on top of all that they have a strong environmental message that can be totally exploited. So yes, the Axos would be great in a horror movie.

4)Haemovore: One of the best episodes of Series Six of Doctor Who was The God Complex, where people had to confront their greatest fear in order to be consumed for their faith. But there was one other story that delved into this idea before 2011. The Curse of Fenric comes from the rather underrated Sylvester McCoy’s last season (if nothing else then because they were trying to bring in some character development for the companion), wherein the Seventh Doctor is battling the mysterious Fenric (as in we’ve never heard of this guy before, but apparently he’s a big deal). But the monster of most interest is the Haemovores. Take the traditional trappings of the vampire mythos, sprinkle over a bit of science-fiction, but give them one very interesting weakness: They are repelled by faith. The Doctor manages to keep them at bay because he has faith in his past companions. The vicar, on the other hand, is consumed by the monsters because he doesn’t believe truly enough. Now that is a good idea for a monster. Something that reveals a lot about the characters were watching whilst taking jabs at religion, but mostly showing how important faith in anything (religious or no) is important in our lives. Plus they’re vampires. You can’t go wrong with vampires.

3)Autons: Remember how I said the Axos were the second best enemy? Well the Autons are the first. Let me tell you, when I first saw the Autons, I was so excited. Peering over the blanket I saw them crash through the windows and start to shoot people on the street. Course it turned out they never filmed them smashing the window, but to a child it certainly felt like they did. Anyway the idea of shop window dummies coming to life was reused in the 2005 revival to somewhat limited effect (as in they did nothing with the bloody things, whilst showing how some things weren’t going to work in the 45 minute setting since we get no build-up), but the idea is pretty clever. Do a zombie apocalypse story… but with shop window dummies. Make it a big jab at consumerism. Have it be totally terrifying. Plus you can ethically kill Autons with no problem (the problem being is that they’d shoot you back). But ever since I first watched the shop window dummies come to life I’ve wanted to see it done properly.

2)The Silence: You ever watch Marble Hornets or seen anything about Slender Man? Well the Silence is the Doctor Who version of it (don’t lie Moffat, they’re so damn similar you’re clearly inspired by it). But here’s the pitch: You’re being chased by a tall suited monster that can shoot lightening out of its hands. Not too bad, right? Something you can totally deal with in theory? Well then you look away…

And the best monster to be… What? Entry number two? Well I don’t see…

And there it is again. For every time you look away from the monster, you forget it even exists. But it’s there, watching you, subconsciously telling you what to do. Now if you don’t see how to make this an effective horror movie then, well, you’re more clueless then the victims that they stalk. But the best horror film would be one where the monsters don’t appear till the very end. Make it so the audience themselves think they’ve forgotten the creature’s appearance. Just cut to characters freaking out and suddenly turning up dead. If put in the hands of an expert, the Silence could make the second scariest film ever made.

1)Weeping Angels: I don’t think anyone was remotely surprised by this. It’s a well-known fact that Moffat is in fact Parallax, come to feed off human fears. And their tears. But the Weeping Angels are one of the creepiest monsters ever made. I mean they’re simple to defeat, in theory. As long as you’re looking at them, they’re stone statures. But the moment you look away, the moment you blink… Faster then the blink of an eye, these creatures will be on you before you can react. Who knows what a brilliant horror director could do with something like this. Add to the fact that an image of an angel becomes itself an angel; and that looking into an angels eyes means it invades your very mind… I would wrestle Jason Voorhees. I would match wits with Freddy Krueger. I’d even take Rory Williams on in a fight (and lose, obviously). But I’d never, ever, ever want to run into a Weeping Angel. Because it’s probably the last then I’d ever do.

So there you have it. The top six aliens that should be made into movie franchises of their very own. If you disagree with anything, or have anything to add, feel free to leave a comment. Till next time.

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