Hi, I’m Matti Mali aka HedonisticActor and I continue Old Shames in text form and conclude the chronicling of the unfinished part of my old superhero comic series Energycore of Power. That’s right, I can finally put this series’ old incarnation to rest after two years of bitching about it. Anyway, the biggest event during the three previous issues was the death of the former main character Stanley Stromberg aka Stormkiller at the hands of team’s former member Richard “Pirate” Strong. He has however escaped Earth with his new love of his life, the former Governor of Massachusetts Daisy “Mutant Queen” Masterson (I have no idea who would have replaced her vacancy) and her bodyguard Lena “Pistol Gal” Frindt. Let’s not waste anymore time and just take a look at all the five issues that were meant to be released in 2007.

 

Issue #29

 

Before we start I just remind you quickly about the current roster of the main teams in the order of their joining: with Energycore of Power we have Lei-Jan Fei/Time Empress (#2), Matt Mailton/Hedgehogboy (#3), Harvey Stromberg/Lucky Guy (#5), Peter Mailton/Muscleboy (#13), Maria Echrone/Gravity Girl (#14), Jenna Bush/Shadowmind (#18), Lauri Nummila/Shaman (#19), Nokoru Sogunasa/Animegirl (#21) and Wesley Nimbelton/Mr. Fear (#23) and with their nemesis team Protectors of Humankind there are Daniel Forrestal/Chemist (#6), Annabelle Belacroix/Witch (#12), Shigeru Yakunome/Liar (#13), Waldo Flex/Ratman (#14), Tiffany Dannington/Sizer (#19) and Wong Huang/Chi Master (#20). See how many of them you can remember without looking the previous blogs.

In this issue an important super villain is introduced, namely Nolan Spender aka Gasman. He was mentioned way back in issue #17 as the photographer who found Osama bin Laden’s hideout which had a high price as he was captured by Asian Order. They tortured him with gasses and some of the late super villain Smoker’s left over liquid samples so when Osama bin Laden caused Stormkiller to go all super lightning in issue #20 Nolan Spender was struck and got the power to turn into several gasses. He was intended to be the Green Goblin of the series, an utter psychopath who is gleeful of the horrible things he does but he has no clear motivation to do terrible things to other than terrorists. He’s also a Jehovah’s Witness but like many other extra character traits it has nothing to do with his personality or character development.

George W. Bush aka Warmachine has discovered during the previous issues that his daughter Jenna is actually an Energycore of Power member Shadowmind and is about to send his colleague Gerhard Niffenkoff aka Superleader to get her back. Just then Gasman who recently woke up from his coma arrives and offers to do the deed. Because his team Worthy And Stupendous Persons is in need for more members after Vladimir Putin’s departure and death Bush agrees.

Speaking of the deceased Putin his killer Shaman is in trouble as the Russian government wants his head and it puts Lucky Guy into tight situation as well. However the problem is tragically solved when Gasman attacks Energycore of Power’s headquarter and kills Shaman by turning into carbon monoxide gas and chocking him to death. This is a very common trick for showing how much of a threat your new, last-minute addition villains are by having them kill the unnecessary filler heroes and evidently it’s a cheap solution (although Buffy the Vampire Slayer kind of managed to pull it off with Caleb by making him incredibly charismatic).

Gasman succeeds in kidnapping Shadowmind and leaves Shaman’s girl friend Animegirl swear vengeance. Their troubles are not over yet because President Bush has decided to deal with our heroes once and for all and sends a small nuclear bomb towards them. Time Empress however notices this and by developing a new power manages to stop time enough everyone to escape to safety. As a side effect for developing new powers her aging process gets faster, not fast enough to kill her immediately but she’s not probably going to see her 50th birthday (she’s 30 at this point). This though begs the question why she didn’t have any negative consequences when she developed her powers from high accuracy to manipulating time in issue #10? Retcons – they cause tragic endings.

As for Protectors of Humankind Chemist’s wife Witch gives birth to twins who receive the names Vincent and Esther. Hey, those are the same names that their children had in that “dystopy” future presented in issue #18, what this could mean?

 

Issue #30

 

Not much to say about this one, Energycore of Power attacks White House and saves Shadowmind. Also after having his children baptized Chemist builds a space ship so Protectors of Humankind could travel to planet Kaldrea and try to conquer it.

 

Issue #31

 

Kaldrean government manages to send a distress signal to Energycore of Power so they use their own space ship – a gift from the aliens – and travel to Kaldrea to confront their nemesis team. There is lots of battling with probably Kaldreans Kreffeck Gardaling (the president of the planets most powerful nation) and Kaffre Arnoff (the criminal who pretended to be a Russian gangster Igor Jetsjovsk) would have been involved in it. There are however two distinct events.

Because they hadn’t personally done any crime against Kaldrean citizens Pirate, Mutant Queen and Pistol Gal have managed to become refugees in their planet in the condition that they convert into Kaldrean faith. Pirate and Mutant Queen even married and are about have a child they put into birthing process eight months ago. Indeed, the child is going be born a moth earlier and Energycore of Power goes to the hospital where Mutant Queen is giving birth.HumHu The atmosphere is naturally tense but Energycore of Power needs all the help it can get so the parties make an uneasy agreement.

During Energycore of Power’s battle against Protectors of Humankind Pirate has his own fight against Chi Master who both can shoot energy out of their eyes. In the heat of battle Chi Master shoots at Pirate who drops out of a window that causes him to do the classical mistake and see did his adversary really die. Nope as he has saved himself with his organic steel hook fist and blasts his laser through Chi Master’s head making the oldest character in the series to die and become a street pizza at the age of 91. That’s right; it’s the end series killing spree, more tragedies to come!

Also Ratman meets his father Gregory Flex who was brought to Kaldrea 20 years ago by a teleportation spell and was mutated by Denerian experiments. Bringing this kind of twist so late into the game is just waste of time.

In the end Energycore of Power succeeds in driving Protectors of Humankind out of the planet and unofficially makes peace with Pirate and the ladies allowing them to join the team. However in the meantime George W. Bush and friends have travelled to the other planet Deneria and succeeded in the same thing Protectors of Humankind tried to achieve in Kaldrea. Not only that but they have also kidnapped actress Dory Catharine and computer nerd Ken Strecto, the spouses of Lucky Guy and Time Empress respectively and are now challenging our heroes to come and rescue them. I know it’s George W. Bush but even he should know that threatening the hero’s lowed ones is always going to backfire. In any case they make another travel.

 

Issue #32

 

This is pretty much the same deal as in the previous issue except this time Energycore of Power’s adversary and the planet the coup attempt happens are different. There are some variations though as while Dreg Zeffres (a criminal who pretended to be a Japanese car manufacturer Hiriko Hundoke) would have helped the heroes the other important Denerian Nraidi Lerfos (the former defense minister) would have allied herself with the villains.

During the events Animegirl tries to find Gasman and exact her revenge. However she runs into an ambush by all the three members of W.A.S.P. (oh, so that’s why the team was named that way) and Superleader proceeds to hit her unconscious. However he accidently hits her too hard which causes her to hit her head hard on the floor and killing her. This means that there have been more casualties during the nine months Lucky Guy has been in charge than there ever was during Stormkiller’s almost two-year regime.

Georgie-Boy and co. escapes to Earth with Energycore of Power hot on their trail. It’s time for the final showdown.

 

Issue #33

 

While Energycore of Power was busy in driving George W. Bush out of Deneria Protectors of Humankind have been busy in trying to become the rulers of USA. Basically they have been bullying the acting president Dick Cheney to be their puppet ruler so they could… umm… what were their goals again?

As I told in the previous blog the final battle of Energycore of Power’s first series takes place in the front of White House and Energycore of Power has sent distress signals to ensure that every super human who are still (clinically) alive are going to be involved in it. Just for reminder the other super humans not mentioned are Jane Goldurock/Ninjawoman and Chung Chi-Wa/Worker from Super Duo of Asia and Ali Sendoh/Prayer, James Dreckholm/Priest, Amy Wendell/Sketch, Keanu Reeves/Neo and Eduardo Spizena/Matador from Los Angeles Hero Department. During this beating of epic proportions several important things happen:

President Bush has some reservations about attacking the other super hero teams because he doesn’t have any grudges against them – I guess Energycore of Power is a special case for some reason – but Gasman psyches his boss to raise his hand against them as well so he shoots Ninjawoman full of holes. This proves to be a mistake as he now has Neo’s attention and they match their strengths. Eventually Neo rams to Bush so hard it turns many of his inner organs into mush. With his last breath the 43rd President of the United States says to be sorry about everything and exits the mortal realm. Neo is upset about actually killing someone and leaves the battle field.

In the midst of chaos Superleader steals Liar’s katana and attacks Gravity Girl. The love her life Hedgehogboy jumps in front of her in order to sacrifice himself… but they both end up impaled. This would lead to their final declarations of love that was intended as tragically romantic but would have probably ended up narmstastic instead. This is indeed one of those “the audience certainly wouldn’t expect that” twists that usually make readers to throw their copies to the wall. Why Gravity Girl had to suffer when it’s Hedgehogboy who everyone wants to get rid off?

After doing the double kill Superleader notices his team leader is dead and the other member has taken a hike so he decides to leave as well by using his flying power. However Time Empress sees him and as frustrated attempt for revenge she throws Liar’s katana at him. It doesn’t kill him but it hits him hard enough to make him crash on White House’s iron fence that causes him experience karmic death via impalement. With the last death in the series the Battle of White House comes to the end. Yes, 25 super humans participated in this fight and only five of them got killed. Also yes, those who died during the bad future in issue #18 died here as well, oh the irony.

So how to wrap up the whole thing after a finale like that? As I mentioned in an earlier blog this wasn’t meant to be the final end, just the beginning of a five year break and I have only vague ideas about the continuation. Sure things are that Muscleboy, Shadowmind and Worker retire from superhero business – of course they would return when the heat goes up – Protectors of Humankind secretly invade White House and force the next president – that means Barack Obama – to be their puppet ruler, Gasman becomes a major threat who tries to assassinate Lucky Guy several times and Neo becomes mad and tries to conquer North-Korea. You know; the usual insanity that could be expected from this series.

 

Finally! That’s it! No more Energycore of Power! That is of course until either the planned webcomic reboot or the planned podcast play/motion comic project surface but until then I’m free, free! *goes to dance naked on a field*

 

 

Wait, Time Empress can travel back in time so why she didn’t use that power to PREVENT HER TEAM MATES FROM DYING?!?!?!?!??

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