Moviefan12: I don’t think, we can trade, Fus! However, you could help review it and calm down, you out of the three of us got it the easiest. *Looks at Fusionater* Okay, that’s not going to happen. You too, DisneyOtoko. Your guys’ reviewing material is gold compared to this. And as for you DisneyOtoko, just wait until you have to review Return To The Sea. Let’s get this over with. Okay, I need the proper setup.

 

 

Hello & welcome back to A Look at Disney. Today, we are taking a look at something so vile, so horrid, so wrong, that it has caused grown men to cry in agony. Today, we are taking a look at..

 

 

 

Moviefan12: If you recall my 100 Acres Wood event, I did last year. I reviewed an episode of the TV show, Welcome To Pooh Corner and I thought it was pretty good. Too Smart For Strangers is a stranger danger special from Welcome to Pooh Corner and let’s just say that this special does not any way shape or form reflect the quality of the actual show.

DisneyOtoko: No Moviefan! My inner hero and conscience tells me that I can’t let you watch this childhood killer alone. I’ll help you even though I’m sacrificing my childhood a second time!

Moviefan12: It’s your funeral.

DisneyOtoko: For those of you that have seen Brad Jones’s DVD-R Hell Review of this special we’re pretty much going to give you the same except with far more fanboy rage seeing as we both love the world, themes and characters of Winnie the Pooh. I think we are long past the idea of completely missing the point of the source material. This is an abomination and I can see why the tower chose it as Moviefan’s main test. I’m just here to back him up because this one’s a doozy! Pooh is childhood innocence incarnate and to have him and all his friends talking about this topic feels so wrong and you feel dirty while watching it! Even if you remove the Pooh aspects and judge it on its own standards of how well it presented the topic it still fails! The examples are crap the topic of not trusting strangers itself is a fickle and weak and downright hypocritical in concept as well as the examples have no basis in reality! I’m just delaying the inevitable now so let’s get this stinker over with!

Moviefan12: I can already tell you that a Disney Facepalm is in order. *sees note attached to DVD*

No Facepalms allowed

Seriously! All right, let’s get this form of torture used extract information from criminals over with.

The Plot

Moviefan12: Where do I begin? No seriously, let me know! I think I know perfectly how to sum up this thing. It’s CREEPY!!! There you go, all done with the review. Who’s next? (DisneyOtoko and Fusionater look at Moviefan12 angrily) Okay, okay I’ll finish the review. There are so many things wrong with this thing. That I don’t know even know where to start. Okay, let’s start with the set up. Why does Pooh want to talk the audience about stranger danger. Yes, I know that it is the main theme of this special, but we are never told as to what brought this on. Instead, it just opens with Pooh singing and walking down the road. I can’t believe that I’m going to say this but this special made me realize that Dumbo’s Circus did something right. What do I mean, well last year, I took a look at an episode of Dumbo’s Circus. My most angry review. That episode also dealt with stranger danger but here’s the difference. There was actually setup and we found out why, that episode wanted to talk about stranger danger. Here, it seems as if it comes out of the blue. I mean in Dumbo’s Circus, they actually come across a stranger and have to deal with him whereas in this special, they rely on footage of kids dealing with strangers. Where I think, it would’ve been handled better if these characters actually had to deal with strangers. I mean Roo was in this special and you could’ve used him in that regard. This special made me say something nice about Davis’ Circus!!!!! I repeat, this special made me praise Davis! Congratulations, that is quite an accomplishment. You must be so proud of yourself! That’s not all, this special also annoys me with the biggest thing I hate in children’s television. The characters talked directly to the audience instead of letting a story play out. Now, you didn’t think I forgot about The Scene. Yes, the scene. The infamous Not Okay Touch scene. Why don’t we take a look at it and break down why this scene does not work.

Okay, the first thing wrong with this scene. It’s creepy. The second thing, wrong with this scene. It’s CREEPY!!! The third thing wrong with this thing, see 1 & 2. Okay, seriously. The big thing that is wrong with this scene is that for many people (myself included) Winnie The Pooh represents the innocence of childhood. And to hear a character that is the embodiment of childhood talking about adults inappropriately touching kids is something, that none of us want to hear. Winnie The Pooh is meant to take us back to a simpler time and hearing Pooh Bear talk about something so mature and adult just feels WRONG!!!! Quite honestly, I don’t want to hear any Disney character talk about an issue as serious as this. It’s… it’s… it’s just not right. I mean let’s be honest here, we are listening to Winnie The Pooh describe molestation. That is just Ewe, Ewe, Ewe!!! I feel dirty. I’ll need to wash my brain at least five times a day to get this out of my head. Honestly, this special had good intentions but this scene just ruins that. This is not the type of information that Winnie The Freaking Pooh should be talking about. Also do I even need to mention how wrong it is having these characters talk about this subject matter when some of them, don’t even wear clothes and the one’s that do, don’t wear pants!!! I’ve compiled a list of things that would’ve been less creepy to hear Pooh and friends talk about.

  • Tax Returns
    Bus Safety
    Dental Care
    Bullies
    Doctor’s Visits
    Lady Gaga
    The Salem Witch Hunts

Anything, just about anything would’ve been less creepy then having to hear Pooh Bear talk about this.

Oh, there is one more thing that I forgot to mention. This special would never shut up. Seriously, every single topic discussed in this special had to have a song about it and that was quite annoying. There was even a song after the bad touch scene. Ewe! Now, I won’t be going over these songs as they are just repetitive and they get old. Because the songs are all essentially the same song but with different lyrics.

DisneyOtoko: Yeah you pretty much summed up everything wrong with this. Although I don’t mind Disney characters talking about serious adult issues if anything it would create an excellent contrast with their idealism and optimism facing a real world problem it’s just in the context of the worlds they come from this particular topic is just WRONG!!!!!!!!!! Especially for Pooh!!!!! EWE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! God that Bad Touch scene was vile! However how about looking at this from an objective standpoint? I know it’s hard and I know you’ll try, but forget this has anything to do with Pooh and let’s judge this on it’s own merit as a PSA about Stranger Danger. It STILL SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The various “real world” examples are so contrived and written in the typical cliche nonsense that no would be pedophile or kidnapper would ever use! Various logic problems prevent the scenarios from having any basis in reality and are not relatable in any way and if adults take this advice to heart they would be worse parents for it!

DisneyOtoko: The “real world” scenarios range from the typical stranger on the street, to the suspicious phone call to the stranger knocking on the door.

All of these scenarios are idiotic! First off there are no parents around! These kids at the oldest are like 7 or 8 and there are no parents supervising them! In most situations parents would be there. If anything this special tells children to run away from people you don’t know! Be afraid and suspicious of every person you don’t know! How these kids make friends I don’t know! That’s my main problem with the concept of Stranger Danger is that it basically creates an air of distrust and antisocial behavior and really unnecessary fear in children. While the show addresses that not all strangers are bad it turns around and says treat the good strangers like bad strangers anyway! It uses fear to not create genuine awareness of bad people, but to assume the worst in everyone! For example there’s this part where this guy asks a kid if he’s seen his lost dog and if he would help him search. First no one not even unsavory people would ask for the kid to help search, but what the kid could do is say “I’m sorry I haven’t seen your dog, but my Mom/Dad and I could help you look” so the kid goes home and the parent and child help the guy look for the dog. Instead the kid rudely brushes him off and leaves. A man lost his loving pet companion, but at least the kid is safe from a threat that almost certainly wasn’t there to begin with? Are you kidding me! The ones where the stranger comes to the home are the worst I think the kid is home ALONE!!!!! WHERE ARE THE IDIOT PARENTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY IS THERE NO BABYSITTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Since this is the 80s and cellphones aren’t prevalent what if the stranger’s car broke down and needed to use the phone? The kid’s response is always to be rude and inconsiderate to the stranger and always view the stranger as dangerous as opposed to politely refuse. Or better yet the kid could find possible solutions to the problem that no longer involve the possible danger such as telling the stranger that the neighbors are home and that he can use their phone to get his car towed.

Now for the thing I find most disturbing in this special is when the show has the “real world” examples to the Bad Touch topic. First it basically tells the kids NOT to fight back, but to tell the perv “No” because we all know sickos and degenerates like that take “No” for an answer right? Also the scenarios take place in the kids’ rooms and in their own homes!!!!!!!!!!! DO YOU IDIOTIC WRITERS HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THAT IMPLIES!!!!!?????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The follow up response is “I’m going to tell my parents”, but from what this show is implying is that it’s the parents that are the perps! EWE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Zenon 3 is Citizen Kane compared to this! This PSA FAILS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Moviefan12: I agree that majority of the so called real world scenarios are pathetic. Though, I noticed you didn’t touch on the one that got under my skin the most and left me admittedly somewhat confused. Yeah, I hate to say it but this disasterpiece left me confused. The scene, I’m referring to is there is a young girl who is getting out of school and and adult woman pulls up and says that she knows her mom. The young girl is right to be suspicious because she’s never seen this woman before but instead of running off. Perhaps, I’m wrong to think this but couldn’t the girl have asked the woman “How do you my mom?” and if the woman couldn’t answer that, then leave. I don’t know! I just think that maybe you could ask her because what if the woman actually did know the young girl’s mother. Anyways, let’s move onto the characters.

DisneyOtoko: Again the basic message is to treat every single person you don’t know like a child molestor! It uses fear to get its point across instead of good thinking and common sense.The show has this delusion that the way to go is to be rude even to people that are 98% legit good strangers. Wait what are we actually bothering with a character section here?

Moviefan12: Y’know what, No! This thing does not deserve a character section. Why should we suffer any longer? For those of you that really want to know my thoughts on the characters in this special. Well, here ya go…

STUPID!!!!!!

Moviefan12: Let’s just move onto Our Final Thoughts.

Our Final Thoughts

Moviefan12: I HATE this thing. It is an insult to anyone who grew up with Winnie The Pooh, it doesn’t hold up on it’s own as a stranger danger special. How much do I hate this thing? It made me say something nice about Davis!!!!!!!!!!!! Something, I thought would never happen. This is a billion times worse than Dumbo’s Circus. You know, I just thought of the perfect word to sum up this abomination. AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This thing is creepy, relies on idiot logic, it’s sick and wrong. The real life situations seem flimsy. Screw the note, this thing deserves a facepalm.

Folks, do not going out looking for this. Because if you do, we are not paying for your therapy bills. I’d rather watch Home on The Range before this. I’d rather listen to Taylor Swift before ever watching this again and I can’t stand Taylor Swift. I’m not sure but I think this is the tenth circle of Hell! To quote Wicked.

Take it away… take it away!

Forget Runaway Brain, forget A Night On Bald Mountain, forget The Haunted Mansion. This is the creepiest thing that Disney has ever made. DisneyOtoko, you have anything to add because I’ve said everything I can about this piece of garbage. And someone please get me something with Fluttershy in it to wash away the bad memories.

DisneyOtoko: This is a disgrace! This is the Star Wars Holiday Special of Disney! Disney buried this and for good reason! There are no words to describe its horror and evil! NO WORDS AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Moviefan12: Huh guys, you know more about Heartless than I do! Because you’ve actually played the Kingdom Hearts games. So anyways, there are those actually Heartless?

DisneyOtoko: Ye… (cut off by Darkfan21)

Darkfan21: Indeed they are, Moviefan. You really should’ve paid attention to the note. You using the Facepalm brought them here. And oh by the way, thank you for suggesting them. When we last met.

Moviefan12: What are you talking about? *thinks* Oh, right! I didn’t think you’d listen to my advice and actually get minions. That article isn’t even out yet. You never listen to me! Why start now?!? And how did you get here?

Darkfan21: It was good advice, coming from someone as silly as you. Well, I must be going because I’d want to have the best seat in the house for when Fusionater cracks. What, with your cannon being powerless and all. As for how I got it here, I’ve mastered teleportation. Something you haven’t and never will because you don’t possess the power to learn it. I must admit that you did better then I thought Moviefan but you had help. Unlike Fusionater, who will have to go solo while the two of you fight off my minions and that should be hard for you. What, with your cannon being powerless and all.

Moviefan12: Actually, I got it working! Ignoring that comment about my magical abilities.

Darkfan21: WHAT?!?!?!

Moviefan12: Never underestimate the power of Madam Pinkie’s help. True, she may not have helped me directly but she told Magic Dust, a phrase to get it started that he then told me.

Darkfan21: No matter, I am out of here.

*Moviefan12 & DisneyOtoko go charging into battle*

Moviefan12: *to both DisneyOtoko & Fusionater* When, we get out of here, I am killing that villain.

TO BE CONTINUED….

On Average Internet Reviews

By Moviefan12

Disney Geek, Oncer, Brony, and Expressionist

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