Noises off is a movie based on the play. While the play is brilliant I felt it just didn’t translate to a good movie, despite the stellar all star cast which included Michael Cain, Carol Burnett, Christopher Reeve, Julie Hagarty. and John Ritter. It seems I may be alone thinking that, but I did not like the movie. But there are others which are even worst, and that’s what I want to go over today.
As always this is just my opinion feel free to disagree. Here are five other movies which had a fantastic all star cast, and yet was AWFUL
Oh you knew this one had to be on here! In 1994 this was supposed to be the hit of the summer. And why not? Rob Reiner directed and starring Bruce Willis, Elijah Wood, Dan Aykroyd, Jason Alexander, Julia Louis Dreyfuss, Kathy Bates, John Ritter..and that’s just for starters! Then the movie came out…and it was really bad. Full of racial stereotypes and humor that just wasn’t funny. We were going to see it but were discouraged by the same Siskel & Ebert review that Doug Walker saw. If you don’t know this was so reviled, I direct you to one of my favorite Nostalgia Critic review on the subject. Still would like to know how Reiner thought this even had a chance.
Once Upon a Crime
This little gem came out in 1992, and was just lame. The cast included John Candy, Richard Lewis, Sean Young, Cybil Shepard, James Belushi, and George Hamilton. It was a murder mystery, or was it a mock murder mystery?, set in Paris. The movie was just silly and way over the top. The be fair the mystery was decent, and John Candy was funny as always, but you have to deal with a lot of hamminess at the same time.
New Year’s Eve
This came out a few years ago. I decided to watch it last New Year’s Eve just for fun. It was so stupid…..I mean, really it was. And the cast? Gary Marshall directed Michelle Pfeiffer, Zac Efron, Robert De Niro, Halle Berry, Cary Elwes, Jessica Biel, Sarah Jessica Parker. Despite all this talent, the movie was just stupid! I honestly don’t remember exactly what the problem was, I think the story (or stories) was just was to contrived. You know I’m a corny sitcom lover so it has to be bad when I get annoyed with the contrivance of it all! By the way before this film came out a similar movie called Valentine’s Day came out with an all-star cast and was just about as good from what I can tell.
I added this because it’s an interesting case. Remember above when I said that Ocean’s Eleven was awesome? Well it was. George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Julia Roberts, Andy Garcia…just to name four! So you would figure if you took the same cast, same director, and made a sequel (and just for fun throw in Catherine Zeta Jones) you would have a hit right? Um, nope. This movie was a poor follow up and the little bit I saw of it was flat out boring.
Have you ever had a movie in your head, but couldn’t remember the name? Or you could remember the name but you saw the movie so long ago that you remember little else? That was this film for me. I saw it on cable way back in the day, and except for the ending remember very little about. But I always remembered seeing it and getting a kick out of it. The cast? Richard Benjamin, Cloris Leachman, Cleavon Little, Roddy McDowall, Dirk Benedict, Willie Aames, Robert Morley, Tony Randall, Ruth Gordon, Scatman Crothers, Richard Mulligan, James Coco…and that isn’t even all! The plot is what it sounds like, a bunch people race around on a scavenger hunt for money. After Mad World but before Rat Race, this movie came along. And it’s really silly and crazy. Honestly I am not sure if it is really a “bad” movie but It was finally time for me to mention it.
Hmmmm, I feel bad. That really wasn’t a great example of what I am talking about here. So let me leave with you with something more recent. It’s the best, and worst, example of an awful movie with an all-star cast :
I never saw this. I have common sense. Well OK, that’s not fair. If you loved it that’s cool. But I don’t know many who did. All I have to go on is the fact that this movie was panned by critics. Seriously panned! The cast? Oh just a few people. Dennis Quaid, Greg Kinnear, Seth MaCFarlane, Fisher Stevens, Hugh Jackman, Kate Winslet, Anna Faris, Uma Thurman, Richard Gere…and I am tired of typing names. Much like with North, how in the world did all these people sign on for this thing? I just don’t get it. From what I read it’s crass and offensive. George Clooney refused a roll and Richard Gere tired to get out of his. The movie is a bunch of sketches all strung together, sixteen in fact. Like the great Short Cuts just minor anything that made that movie good. It’s just amazing how such an awesome cast can make one of the worst movies ever made.
You may notice no classic disaster movies on here. That’s another subject my friends. I also couldn’t find may 80’s examples, there has to be some!
So I guess the lesson here is that no amount of talent, including director, can make a horrible script work. I am sure there are plenty more I couldn’t think of, so please feel free to comment and let me know what I missed.