Today is very much,
As seen as a tough day for me,
But I am taking it in strong strides.
For today is known to speak happily to another,
Of this day of birth to them,
Making them feel like a shining star.
But I canâ€™t,
I just canâ€™t . . .
Not for him.
Iâ€™m even shock to even being talking about him,
In such a matter,
As this in shortness of bluntness,
To a fellow human,
But I have to,
If I want to let go,
And now I think it is time,
To do just that!
You werenâ€™t the best kind of man out there,
Thinking only just passes your nose.
Loving a woman,
Who wanted nothing to do with you?
Telling you over and over,
To go to another,
That needed you.
Mother is still bitter about it,
But sheâ€™s getting by,
Even without you.
And as I,
Going up without you,
I have learned that I hardly took notice,
That even when other kids who spoke highly of two . . .
Parents . . .
I only had the one.
When I was tiny and remember so little,
Adult matter flew over me,
Now theyâ€™re iron thorns,
Pinning me still as a china doll . . .
The things that made you un-father-like,
I canâ€™t and wonâ€™t over look,
No matter who tries to justified them,
But for how I see it,
Nor will carry as you as I grow.
I speak now and then with my siblings,
Who I have shared through your lines,
And love them.
Through your ice blood turning crimes,
Horrible outlook of things,
You were at least good for making,
Descent children that became who they are now . . .
With or without you,
Giving that proud smile of a well done job . . .
Yet the last smile I saw from you,
Was that try to live,
Not just from those who needed you,
But from the world altogether,
With one finally pop and turn.
Whoever they are,
Want you to stay and fix things,
Or at least try.
I donâ€™t want anything from you,
Not straight from you,
But the lives youâ€™d changed out of selfishness.
I want my siblings to know,
That at least once they were love,
My motherâ€™s heart to heal from your deeds,
Not to have seen so many broken faces,
That you have caused.
Youâ€™re so blinded,
Of your own reflections,
You canâ€™t see who you have hurt!
Iâ€™ve come to terms with my demons,
Why canâ€™t you,
As other say,
You and I couldnâ€™t be any more alike,
After all these years,
I have come to say one last thing from,
And my last final time,
Seeing as phone calls are hard for you to listen.
I have forgiven you,
I may not trust you,
Nor lie to you.
I forgive you,
May if we ever cross paths,
It be from neutral outlook,
And hopeful have that hug of father and daughter.
Goodbye for now,
Hello for change.