On the twelve days of Christmas’s, I didn’t know what, to give to, my dear and close loved ones? Well, expect stall.

I know on the first day it had to be quick, and distract them.

Second day was coming fast, that damn clock kept reminded me, another distraction and two bad jokes.

What really?  Third day here’s already? Bad I for giving not but a distraction, two bad jokes, and three shout of hellos.

Another day has come by, the fourth this time. Time again, for a distraction, two bad jokes, three shout of hellos, and four white lies.

And what a shock, fifth day is here. Distraction . . . two bad jokes . . . three shout of hellos . . . four white lies . . . and five golden ideas!

Yeah, I know, number six, what of it? Is the devil near or something? Can’t be it’s the wrong holiday for him. So, demon spawn, come kill me another day.

It’s the seventh day; time to some cheering up and fast, for that Christmas is coming. Yes! Which the jolly old man is watching . . . SHIT! I need to go work my good deeds! Later!

Hey, look a figure eight. Cool. I did my good deeds; send my two pound list to the North Pole. Last second, as always. Mark the day off and be ready for the next to come.

WHAT? It’s the sixth again . . . waits . . . oh the calendar felled. Oops. Ah, the ninth . . . aw, I got to spend time with family for last minute shopping. No amount of cussing and screaming can describe my inner rage at this moment.

The big ONE ZERO. Oh, we’re nearing. Joy, oh, joy. Screw the rest of day, I got to hang with the little ones and plan a “trap” for Santa. We are so getting him this year.

Eleventh day is here. The trap is ready. Bait is set. Got to rip open at least one gift today. Sweet! The next, Volume II of the endless insight of myths and legends of monsters! Score!

Last day is here, I see that Christmas has come and gone. I did my best for this year, no doubt making an ass of myself . . .  again. Really, girl, learn! To those who I might have disappointed, can stick a firework right up my . . . oh never mind.

Holidays are that of the strangest kind, bringing the weird sides out of all. I know this is nothing, with it being the biggest day ever. But what you do, but go with flow, making to news year. And with the widest, toothiest, shit-eaten grin you can muster.

From one to another, happy holidays!

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