Ladies and gentlemen…meet your new Ghostbusters.

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How do I feel about this? Well, I’m a huge Kristen Wiig fan, I think she can do no wrong. I don’t know who two of these ladies are. As for Melissa McCarthy…I’ll be kind and simply say I’m not a fan.

Personally I find this whole “yeah, but this time they’re women!” thing pretty uninspired and a little insulting. I could be wrong, but I’m guessing that this completely unnecessary remake is going to blow. However, I once made some predictions of my own on how I would remake Ghostbusters. Personally I like my cast better. What do you guys think?

Robert Downey, Jr. as Dr. Peter Venkman
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For a long time I was going to suggest Mike Stoklasa from Red Letter Media as Venkman. …Maybe in a world where Hollywood had bigger balls, as the not yet super famous Stoklasa couldn’t carry a feature film on Internet fame alone. So who could possible play a smart ass scientist as successfully as Murray? Why not Iron Man himself? Downey has proven himself to be one of our most talented actors in the last few years, stealing the show in Tropic Thunder and Due Date. He might be the only man capable of replacing Murray in this iconic role.

Will Ferrell as Dr. Ray Stantz
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Dan Aykroyd was both lovable and hilarious as Ray, always excited and filled with a certain child like wonder about what was going on around him. Ferrell pulls off lovable, hilarious, and child like in nearly every movie he’s in. Personally, I think Anchorman was the funniest movie of the last decade, and on top of that Ferrell is a real actor, capable of deep dramatic work in films like Everything Must Go. I can’t think of anyone better to get excited about a fireman’s pole.

Zoe Saldana as Dana Barrett
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Sigourney Weaver was not known for her comedic chops when she signed on to star in Ghostbusters, she was known for playing kick ass alien fighter Ellen Ripley. So, following in that trend, why not cast another kick ass sci-fi gal, Avatar and Star Trek star Zoe Saldana. She’s beautiful, she’s got sass, she would be a great romantic foil for Downey. Plus, look at that picture. …I jump in it.

Steve Carell as Dr. Egon Spengler
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Harold Ramis was so underrated as Egon in the first movie, often stealing scenes even from Murray. There aren’t many actors who can hold their own against Downey, but I think Carell would have the best shot. He stole scenes from Ferrell in Anchorman, and walked away with the gem Little Miss Sunshine. Plus, he looks like a smart guy. I could buy him as a scientist.

Orlando Jones as Winston Zeddemore
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This is a tough one, as most people will say, “You picked a black guy at random, didn’t you?” Truth be told, I think the character of Winston would have to be re-built from the ground floor up. Not that I don’t love Ernie Hudson, but he was easily the least developed character in the original Ghostbusters, thrown in half way through without a back story or much to do. Orlando Jones is one of the funniest comedians from the last decade, age appropriate for this cast, and I would buy him as an average guy thrown into extraordinary circumstances. There you go…racists!

Ricky Gervais as Louis Tully
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I have a feeling most of you will hate me for this one, but come on! Rick Moranis played Louis as an annoying, grating little twerp. …Ricky Gervais has built his entire career on playing annoying and grating characters. He isn’t a Moranis clone, to be sure, but a remake should mix things up a bit.

Jane Lynch as Janine Melnitz
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Annie Potts was so great at busting Bill Murray’s balls. She was funny, tough as nails and didn’t take any shit. That’s Jane Lynch! Plus, she has experience making Steve Carell sexually uncomfortable. Remember The 40 Year Old Virgin?

Vince Vaughn as Walter Peck
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Once upon a time I could have seen Vaughn playing Venkman. However, it’s hard to deny that the Swingers star has seen better days, career wise. I think he’ll have to be demoted to the role of the Pecker, playing a devious foil to Downey and the other Ghostbusters. Long ago, Vaughn used to take chances and play villains in dramatic films to brilliant effect (minus Psycho, of course). Plus, the guy is still funny. …Not as funny as he used to be, but Walter Peck doesn’t require him to be Old School funny.

So there you have it, a remake of a cherished movie from our childhoods. …Did I pull it off, or are you all working on my cross even as you read this?
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