“When will she wake up?” Satan watches the girl slightly bemused. Lucifer scowls at him.
“My Lord, not so loud, she’ll hear you.” the words are said a little late though, and Satan watches as Angel stirs from her drugged slumber. The King of Darkness smiles coldly at Angel.
“How are you feeling, human?”
Angel yawns and stretches before opening her eyes. For a brief moment, she is disoriented. How strange, it’s very warm here, like a fire, and what’s that I smell? A barbeque? Don’t mind if I do… Then she screams loudly, as she sees the horrors of Hell firsthand. There are people being burned at the stake, whipped repeatedly, forced to run across nails, and many more tortures that causes Angel to immediately vomit on the scorched ground. The smell of blood stings her nose, and the chorus of flies among rotting bodies are sensations she knows she will never be able to forget. So much suffering, make it stop, make it STOP! Satan grins at her.
“It hurts to see your kind treated this way, doesn’t it?” he acts friendly, but he is a wolf in sheep clothing.
Nausea courses through Angel’s stomach and fury boils in her heart looking at the stupid Devil. She spits at him.
“Why the Hell did you bring me here? I am not dead yet, and I have done nothing wrong. Send me BACK!”
Satan raises his hands apologetically.
” I am sorry my dear, I would send you back if I could, because frankly you annoy the shit out of me, but unfortunately you know too much about our kind, so you are now stuck with us for the remainder of your minuscule and insignificant life.”
Angel glares daggers at Satan. Oh so you plan to keep me here? Well Satan, you picked the wrong girl to mess with. And like that, a plan began to form in her head. Satan, I am going to make you wish you had never become the ruler of Hell…
Lucifer watches fascinated, as the girl rages at his Master. She is really brave, most demons cannot look His Majesty in the eyes, let alone talk to him the way she is… How was she talking him you may ask? Oh my, that’s a new word, I will tuck that into the cursing inventory to use against my enemies later on… Lucifer smiles at the King’s obvious frustration. The girl Angel, (full name Angel Tyler Bob) Kept following his Highness around and harassing him. Lucifer grabs Satan and rises twenty feet in the air, where they can talk in private without being heard.
“My Lord, are you sure we have to keep her in Hell? She is rather annoying.”
Satan sighs and rubs at the back of his neck.
“Lucifer, you know if there was any other place, I would put her there in a heartbeat. She annoys me as much as you do, maybe a bit more.”
“Thank you my Lord, wait a minute, HEY!” Lucifer realizes the insult Satan bestowed upon him.
” It will all be okay Lucifer, humans die so quickly, we could take a nap and wake up to see she had crumbled to dust.”
But Satan sounded like he was trying to reassure himself more than Lucifer.
“She will be gone before we know it.”
Angel was bored, so bored that she had read an old receipt from her pocket 80 times before Lucifer and Satan rejoined her. Okay, time to start with Plan A: begging and pleading. Angel turns away from Satan and quickly pinches her nose and cheeks, and then, for good measure, she lightly jabs a finger at her eye. She turns back to the Two demons deep in conversation, and sniffles really loudly. Satan looks at her and his expression turns to one of disgust and horror.
” Please take me back! I promise I won’t tell anyone that you exist or do anything to disrupt your existence, but Please! If you don’t take me back, I won’t get to write the poems I always wanted to post on some site called Manic-Expression!” she buries her face in her hands and rubs them hard. When she looks up, she sees that Satan is no longer even looking at her, but talking once again, with Lucifer.
“H-hey! Why aren’t you paying attention to me!!!?”
Without so much as glancing at her, he replies;
” Nice try, but it will take a lot more than that pathetic performance to get me to listen to you. Why should I care the reasons you want to go home? Trust me hon, if you didn’t have to be here, you wouldn’t be.”
Angel scowls and goes to sit on a rock. Well that didn’t work, I guess I have to come up with a Plan B, but who is to say that that plan won’t fail too? It’s probably better if I make Plans C to Z.
Satan pulls Lucifer aside.
“Hey man, so I have a bunch of souls to torture, so can you babysit the human brat while I am doing that, thanks.”
Lucifer sputters in outrage.
“Hey I never said I would do that!”
Satan pulls out a contract and examines it.
“Hmmn, it says here that when you agreed to be my loyal servant, you also agreed to take care of every menial task I assigned you, right there, see?” Satan points at the page. Lucifer balls his hands into fists.
“DAMN YOU FINEPRINT!”
Satan rolls the contract up again and shoves it through a shadow, sending it somewhere else.
” So, are we in agreement, what you are to do today?”
Lucifer groans and Satan grins wolfishly.
” Yes your Majesty, but I won’t like it.”
Satan claps him on the back.
” Now THAT’S the spirit! Have fun!”
Satan melts into the shadows, leaving Lucifer alone with a moody and seriously pissed off teenage girl. Angel is sitting hunched against a rock muttering to herself. Lucifer could swear he heard “okay, for Plan G…” Lucifer cozies up to Angel and she glares at him fiercely, causing him to shrink away.
” Why are you here, I don’t need a babysitter.”
Lucifer trembles under her sharp gaze.
” Y-yeah, but his Highness said-“
” I don’t fucking care what ‘his Highness’ said. Leave me alone.”
Meekly, Lucifer walks away and observes Angel from a distance. Damn, why am I afraid of a girl? She’s a human! Lucifer sighs loudly. Oh King, what have you gotten me into?