(0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it before cutting to James physically)
TLOTA: I’m James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans and the views I’m about to express are that of my own & some of yours and Welcome to another edition of Reality Checkout! (Cut to Video Purchasing Store checkout counter in which John Santos is a brainless idiot purchasing Reality TV series while James is the clerk who looks at the guy as if he were an idiot and slowly gets angry and does him a favor by buying him a copy of all the seasons of the restarted “Doctor Who” series as he takes the Reality TV series and places them in Port-a-Potty along with a lit stick of Dynamite and then James runs like hell as an image of Kim Kardashian is seen covered in fecal matter and the only clean part is the words “Reality Checkout” while the theme from “Welcome Freshmen” plays in the background before cutting back to James.)
TLOTA: Ah February, So many things happen in this short yet cold month. We’re hit with heavy snow every which way from Sunday thanks to the most hated Groundhog on the second of this month, The Super Bowl which disappointed me and of course the one day every person who is single has to roll their eyes and decide to crawl into a bottle and not come out until the 21st of March. That’s right, VALENTINE’S DAY! And with it comes not only a glut of bad Romantic movies on The Hallmark Channel and on certain other channels but a glut of one form of reality show that gets my blood so hot with anger I could boil a pot of water with my forehead!